Why is it so hard to find a decent girl?

[Anonymous]

I am 25 years old and my entire life I have only had 3 relationships (all of those took +1 year), I have had countless flirts (nothing but talking for a while) and all of those ended with nothing but frustration. All were the same, relationship starts really good, we both clearly indicate that we are looking for a serious relationship then things goes so well and whenever I show my love with all of it's purety everything starts to fell apart. I feel like whenever the women knows that you're madly in love with them and you're not going anywhere, they start to lose their respect and interest against their men and pushes my patience to absolutely it's limits. I am getting tired of this, why do women do this?

[Anonymous]

Feminism has convinced women that they ought to seek to gain power in the world... which means they will make your life a living hell, UNLESS you can OUTDO them and show them that you are in charge... you have to be domineering as a man.

Then a woman will happily fall in line and show you the respect that we all ultimately deserve, but man, the modern world has literally whipped women into thinking they can just walk all over everything and it's complete nonsense. They don't respect anything unless it completely does something to relegate them into submission.

That's why they say you have to be able to tell a woman "no." She has to be an accessory, not the prize, in that you don't pedestalize her. Respect her, but don't completely bend over backwards for her. Remain stoic. YOU are the man. She should be looking up to you.

That's what a lot of us inexperienced guys did when we were young... we got too into our feelings, too mushy, too "in love" too quick... You have to be an in control type of guy. And how do you even do that when you're young when all these pretty girls are in honors classes, outdoing most of the guys, and you're supposed to be the breadwinner gender? You know? The world is just weird man. Nothing is ever lining up the way that it should... I look back on everything, and it's just all kinds of messed up. Nothing makes sense. I've been too humble and quiet for too long and I'm personally feeling behind.

It's ultimately a lack of respect. Nobody respects anyone anymore, hardly. I blame our culture. Everything is slanted towards women, they get everything coming to them, especially if they are attractive, and they start to not appreciate anything. And for the rest of us, it literally seeks to make us all compete over the same things, and work for table scraps, put ourselves out there, get senselessly and brutally rejected, and nobody is happy. Whether it's relationships, or your work or career, it's all cut-throat and you have to stand up for yourself.

[Lliam]

A lot of men do the same thing. As soon as a woman starts getting too serious and talking about love and marriage, the guy bails. I know that I did that a few times when I was young. It wasn't about losing respect for them. I was just afraid of getting tied down. I was too young for a lifetime responsibility.

Also, I wonder what you consider a "decent" girl. Is it just the women you have chosen so far?
You've only been in three relationships and and those lasted for a year each. That's pretty good. And you're only 25.
So keep at it. Learn from past mistakes, work on yourself, and you'll find the right woman eventually.

Also, I don't know what you mean by showing your love with all it's purity. Maybe you pushed too hard. I don't know. Maybe you should, instead, ask them about what they see for the future and get a better idea of how they feel. Maybe they weren't yet ready and felt pressured. Or maybe they thought you were groveling and seemed desperate or weak. Again, I don't know. It's something for you to figure out through introspection.

But don't give up. You're actually doing pretty well so far from the sound of it.

[crystalline0909]

Because majority of men are attracted to a women who is either extremely independent, ultra modern, permiscuous, who have an outgoing lifestyle like weekend partying and clubbing, alcoholics, dresses up in a very revealing manner, chicks that are public in social platforms, thousands of followers, etc.

Where for a mature long lasting relationship a man needs a homely, sensitive, courageous enough to be emotionally vulnerable woman who prioritise her families reputation, culture, career, who doesn't sleep around or jump through relationships, someone with close friends circle not a crowd, private woman.

Men run after women who don't love them but would blindly reject vulnerable loyal women cause they don't feel the challenge or chase and are unsatisfied by security cuz they find that boring. Obviously security is predictable and monotonous.

[diego_md]

this is the best option i have ever seen in this platform since i created my account 🎉

[diego_md]

*opinion

[dreamer123912]

I'm definitely not. I only want to date the kind of girl you described

[FictionalCharacter]

@dreamer123912 you don’t. Then you wouldn’t be single.

[dreamer123912]

@FictionalCharacter Why is that?

[Cynicaldreamer]

"Men run after women who don't love them but would blindly reject vulnerable loyal women cause they don't feel the challenge or chase and are unsatisfied by security cuz they find that boring..."

Someone give this woman MHO- best opinion right here! This applies for most men in the same situation. I get there has to be an attraction there for a relationship to work, but most of the girls these guys pursue aren't serious or ready for a stable relationship. Yet the girls that do want said guys and would happily date them? Guys wind up ignoring or friendzoning.

@Asker- you need to look internally and ask yourself is there a pattern to the women you're attracted to and dated in the past , and how you go about trying to take each relationship to the next level. It might be you're just attracting the wrong type of women, or you're saying/doing something that halts them wanting to go further with you.

[crystalline0909]

Thank you so much for MHO. I would like to thank I me and myself. 🌟

[diego_md]

@crystalline0909 the question's owner should give you MHO we already admitted that your opinion is the best

[crystalline0909]

Thank you?
Owner won't be able to do that. Right now he must be in a recap mode questioning himself.

[diego_md]

@crystalline0909 i have a question about this subject would like to dm me to discuss it privately

[crystalline0909]

Cool

[Anemone978]

I am not sure but you may be dating women with abandonment issues, so because they believe the guy will always leave them they do annoying stupid shit that will push him away to make her feel like "see, I was right every guy leaves me so no one truly loves me". Or it could be they just don't actually know what they want. Or they realize you are not the one so push you away. It usually takes a year to know if you really love the person. 2 to know if you really want to spend your life with them. Before you let yourself fall for anyone you should pay attention to red flags they are always there.

[jennifer_bloom]

Decent girls are less likely to go to bars or parties or talk at a business meeting so they might not get seen or discovered as easily.

[ShesRad80]

that is incredibly sad, it seems like a lot of both sides have very short attention spans these days and are never really happy after they get what they want. with social media, dating apps they change partners like others change underwear. its going on with all ages out there. i can only assume you are a nice guy and apparently most want dbag, wanna be bad boy these days. it happens to decent girls just as much, you are everything someone wants only for them to say i want loyal, sweet, cute, life in order, for a friends with benefits situation.

[BoopBoopBeep]

"whenever I show my love with all of it's purety everything starts to fell apart"

What does that look like, specifically. If this is the common denominator then it's addressable.

"whenever I show my love with all of it's purety everything starts to fell apart" by sleeping outside her window to make sure she's okay

vs

whenever I show my love with all of it's purety everything starts to fell apart which I don't understand because I call her every hour to see if there's anything I can do

vs

whenever I show my love with all of it's purety everything starts to fell apart despite the fact that I proposed to her

We need more info to help you out my man. What's going on?

[JSmuve]

If a woman loses interest because you express your interest first, then that woman likely has deep-rooted confidence issues. The phrase "we accept the love that we think we deserve" comes to mind. If they're rejecting your love then they probably feel like they don't deserve it because they have a negative self-image and they're rejecting you before they get hurt. It's frustrating but you're probably dodging a bullet. Either that or they were never serious about wanting a serious relationship. At least not with you.

You pretty much have to be dating multiple women until one of them is interested enough to ask the "what are we" question. If you broach the question then you're just showing your hand and the mystery is gone for the women. Some women need the chase. Those women are probably damaged goods.

[Anonymous]

This is due to the women you were with aspired to be like Jezebel and have been influenced by today's programming due to lacking foundation. Jezebel spirit / personalities only want to be desired, not loved.

[Asker]

"only want to be desired, not loved", honestly this is beautiful, best answer there is. It's so damn sad but true as hell.

[Opinion Owner]

It's sad but there is the other side to the equation as well. A true woman of God will want to be loved and desired and will not leave the man once he shows his love for her. This is because Jezebels do not love themselves and have no relationship with God. But a true woman of God has learned to love herself and has a relationship with God.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Yeah, they'll start shit-testing you. If you create a bunch of drama yourself maybe not so much.

The way I see it, if it's going well and they are not getting the conflicts and drama... they'll start to create it as if they're trying to make the relationship more interesting. They do it for that butterflies feeling... and they don't feel about love the way we feel it.

[BlackJeep]

3 relationships that lasted longer than a year means you're doing something right. Keep working on yourself and you'll be fine. I don't think you are doing anything wrong. Be a good man and if you are rejected then know that there is someone better out there for you. Good women are looking for good men. Good luck

[WhitneySnow]

I think those girls didn’t feel back what you felt for them. And three relationships that lasted at least a year each is not bad. You’re gonna have a lot of false starts before you find someone you click with.

[SnowedIn]

Wisdom waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay beyond your years. Well said.

[WhitneySnow]

@SnowedIn thank you!

[Meropatrick]

I really think over population is creating a lot of distraction and many people who are really just numbers. Good people of quality became really rare and to find them takes a lot of time. Keep searching with open heart and open mind and know it might take time to find a gem

[Anonymous]

You've done better than me, but we have the same problem; Do Not Show Your Love. Express it through subtle actions, sure, but expressing it can make them question if they feel as strong yet - most immediately quit when met with the question of feelings too soon.

[DextroShade]

Feminism and social media have turned most women into broken entitled narcissists who are utterly incapable of love or pair-bonding and are completely unworthy of being wives. Your best bet is to either look in very rural areas or get your money up enough to look overseas in countries where the feminist cancer has yet to metastasize.

[Philyouup]

you are possible setting your standards to high, you may have a personality flaw , or more
lilly you just haven’t found the right one. you assumption that most are not decent is kind of weak. most just arnt your type ans that’s ok, it’s how it works


breath, relax and stop hunting for mrs right. she’ll come along.

[Nikki1989]

For the same reason, it is hard to find a decent man. Decent people in general are in short supply.

[DaBiggestBird]

They’re too busy streaming themselves doing either nothing or the most cringe things ever on Tik Tok. Or maybe you need to check your family photos, it isn’t that bad as long you stick to female cousins and siblings if any,

[SnowedIn]

Asker, with those three relationships you're doing way better than most.

And read the post from @WhitneySnow that's your answer right there.

[Anonymous]

The fact of the matter is that women want to be treated like crap, its how they know you are good enough for them.

They will all tell you that that isn't true but actions speak louder than words.

[BasedBaeBecca]

Because women are attracted to men being less available then them, being mysterious and not easy to get..

[Ihatethewill]

Therefore she doesn't love him in the first place. She's attracted to what she doesn't have.

[richardcory]

What does the phrase "whenever I show my love with all of it's purety" mean. What specifically are you doing?

[gothbxtch]

it’s not. you just have to find the right girl for you!! i believe in you, and you will find her.

[slatyb]

I have no idea. When I was your age I dated several very nice women. I married the wrong one.

[slatyb]

"whenever I show my love with all of it's purety everything starts to fell apart. I feel like whenever the women knows that you're madly in love with them and you're not going anywhere, they start to lose their respect and interest against their men and pushes my patience to absolutely it's limits. I am getting tired of this, why do women do this?"

You are love-bombing them and it's creepy. You are pressuring them to commit to you far too soon and they correctly decide that you are not emotionally mature.