I want to give my secret friend at work a 3k gift. is it too much?

[Anonymous]

i ended up with my favorite coworker and we have an early Christmas dinner next week, the budget is 20€ but i really want to surprise her and give her this bag that i own myself and she loves so i got a brand new bag and i want to give her. people at work don’t know i have money so i don’t know if that would be doing too much? what do you think?

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, 3k for a work friend is a LOT. Like wayyyy overboard honestly. Even if you've got the cash, that would be super awkward and make things weird between you guys at the office. Like people might think you're trying to hit on her or something.

I'd say stick to the budget you said of like 20 euros max. Getting her a small gift she'd actually use is nicer than some crazy expensive thing that'll stress her out. Money can really change friendships. Maybe get her something homemade too like cookies or a coupon book for jokes/favors instead of $$$.

If you really wanna treat her, take her out for coffee sometime just you two or invite her over for a movie night. Keep it low key. She'd probably appreciate quality friend time more than a purse that screams "I wanna bang." Don't go overboard and blow your cover dude, just be normal! Enjoy the holiday party and keep it chill.

[Anonymous]

That's a lot, for most people. Unless you and her are on the same financial level, it might just make her feel weird. Or even worse, people would just start liking you for your money. Go a lot cheaper on a gift for now. Even a $100 purse would be good, assuming you're good friends already. Take a look at whatever purse she's already using and go a step above it. And be sure to explain why you feel the need to even do it in the first place. $3000 is a lot of money for the average person, although I don't know if you're both in a corporate setting.

[Asker]

she lost her mother and me and her met last December, i really wanted this time of the year to be special for her and for her to feel like she has someone who cares about her. we work at a clothing store lol so i know that that’s not the type of money she has to spend on bags but i do and wouldn’t make a difference in my bank account that’s why i’d like to gift her that. i just don’t know if it’s appropriate

[Opinion Owner]

It's possible it's too much. You could even Google "what's the appropriate amount to spend on a gift?"
If you're spending more than her entire paycheck it's going to make her feel very indebted to you and it'll probably make her happy and feel awkward at the same time. It's okay to want to splurge on a friend. Hell you could even pay for her dinner if you want to hang out some. I'm just basing it off what I make since I have no idea what y'all have. I make about 800 in two whole weeks. Having something that expensive just handed to me would make me feel like I haven't earned it. But if you care this much you may as well try and spend time with her if she's happy to.

[SolsticeSnow]

You seem like a really nice person. But personally I wouldn't do this.

It might make her feel like she owes you big time. A gift like that may feel... like an obligation to some.

If she wasn't a 'work friend' then maybe it would be OK. But I suspect this might cause issues.

Could you get her a small item from the brand instead? Eg: a clutch instead of a large handbag.

[Anonymous]

that is absolutely unnecessary and way too much money... if people at work don't know you have money, you better keep it that way. because you could easily be taken advantage of once they find out. i don't tell my friends how much money i have saved or make and they leave me alone because they think i'm poor lmao

[Anonymous]

Probably wouldn't at the work thing unless you claim it's a dud but then it turns out kosher

[Anonymous]

Damn you are rich, give me 500 so I can pay the debt to my mother lol

[In_Trance]

too much

[Asker]

too much to give it to her that night or just at all?

[Luckycharms12]

Way too much

[Jmmmfi4]

a bit much