How much is too much?

[Anonymous]

My old church friend is an expat in her late thirties and she returns to visit Australia from Thailand once a year and comes to give me beautiful birthday and Christmas gifts. My friend is Chinese and comes from a wealthy family (I suspect); and her gifts are always top quality and high class. It makes me feel like I should be generous, too. So I’ve tried to do better, although money is tight.

So this year, I bought her a pink sapphire flower ring, affordable because it’s on a silver band and it’s secondhand. I also bought a dress firsthand that I had to pay off over time and a lacy white handbag in a box, that I got secondhand. I’m not writing this to brag. I’m writing it because I’m clueless as to how much is too much? Are the bag and the ring appropriate birthday gifts, with the dress for Christmas? Or should I just give her the ring and the handbag? Or the ring and the dress? Or the ring and a secondhand pair of Opal studs that I promised her?

Updates

+1 y

I’m autistic and often struggle to know what’s appropriate and what’s not.

[Billlewis]

There's never an amount of money a guy can spend on a woman that's too much.

[Asker]

I couldn’t agree more 😊

[Billlewis]

🐷😘😘😘😘

[Anonymous]

You can’t really match dollar for dollar with rich people when giving gifts 🎁 how much does she spend on you

[Asker]

It seems like a lot. I’d say that she spent $160 roughly on my Christmas gifts and $250 on my birthday flowers.

[Opinion Owner]

That’s not that much money but that’s expensive for flowers that last 3 to 4 days

[Asker]

It’s a lot of money to me. The gifts are always beautiful, unique and high class versions of normal stuff.

[Asker]

What do you suggest out of the items?

[Opinion Owner]

I don’t know buy her something that she really likes

[Asker]

I have a pink sapphire flower ring. I know she’d love that…and a white lace handbag in a box. Both are beautiful.

[Asker]

Is it appropriate to give the ring for her birthday and the bag for Christmas?

[Asker]

She’s very girly.

[Opinion Owner]

Wow that’s so
Nice

[Asker]

Oh, well, thanks 😊. They may not be my sorts of gifts, (pink flower ring, is very pink and the lace handbag is white…and…lace…) my idea of girl crap, but I thought she might enjoy them. I’m halfway between girly and tomboy.

[Asker]

But my friend is delicate and very girly, unlike me

[Opinion Owner]

That will be so nice

[Asker]

I hope she likes them. As I said, they’re beautiful, but not to my tastes, but it’s about her, not me.

[Asker]

The same when I shop for my tomboy friend. She doesn’t like anything pretty. So I buy snacks, desserts, booze and experiences. Or something useful.

[Opinion Owner]

I hope so to

[Asker]

Thanks for helping me mull it over and find a solution 💕

[Opinion Owner]

You are very welcome

[Asker]

😊😊😊😊

[Opinion Owner]

Nice

[Asker]

Yep. Feel like a chat?

[Opinion Owner]

Sure

[Opinion Owner]

What’s your screen name?

[Asker]

HappyWoman34

[Asker]

Yours?

[Opinion Owner]

I remember you from before you give me a hard time and you deleted my comment

[Asker]

Oh I see. I don’t do that without a good reason. If I’m being bullied by others, I delete comments.

[Opinion Owner]

I
Never did that

[Opinion Owner]

so what will we talk about?

[Asker]

Well, it’s up to you.

[Opinion Owner]

Well
I asked you

[Asker]

Anything, social life, politics, religion, shopping, cultures, travel?