How much is too much?

[lorenzomichael]

Ok I met this girl she’s nine year younger then me I m 45 she’s great I’m not planing on marrying her or anything like that we dig each other and we get along just great she’s sexy fun she loves hockey and a bunch of shit I’m into she would love to move in with me but I like living alone with my two dogs and my cat Meeko we’re just having fun you know. However she wants to have sex every time she comes over and that’s almost every fuckin day she’s wearing me out I hate to say it. But what do I tell her? She’s not a nymphomaniac. Or anything like that. But what do you think every day too much I wish should I tell her I hate to lose her as a friend like I said earlier, she’s great.

[SteveSmith1985]

I think you need to just be straight-up with her about this. Let her know you need a day off sometimes (or let her know what sort of frequency you have in mind).

If you do anything aside from handling this head-on, you risk all manner of fuckery. Things can easily be misunderstood if you try and achieve results in an indirect way.

She needs to know what you're thinking (because what your thinking isn't a problem).

You need to know what she's thinking. (is she all good with this? Is she not)

If you do it head-on... you both know what's happening by the end of the conversation. No confusion. NO questions unanswered and you move forward on the same page (assuming she's ok with this. Which she should be).

One thing stuck out. Sounds like you two are having fun, but "I'm not looking to marry her or anything like that" doesn't seem to fit with her moving in.

Moving her into your place, based on what you wrote here... would be insane. That sounds like the worst possible idea if this girl is great, lots of fun but you're not looking for something long-term. (just a thought. Maybe it doesn't apply)

[lorenzomichael]

Yeah moving in with me it’s not an option fuck that I had plenty of chicks wanting to move in but I know that will change a lot of shit that I don’t want changed. The girls in the past that wanted to move in got pissed at me and said I needed to grow up and think of settling down. I tell the settle down from what? My freedom my house that’s paid for my two cars my bike my truck? fuck that so they split and I’m cool with that. I never had a problem getting chicks for sex, but this one is too fucking much.

[SteveSmith1985]

Yea man, moving in very much means "settling down." That's what threw me. You're clearly not looking to settle down, so moving in together doesn't fit. I'm not too surprised you had that experience with the other girl who moved in with you in the past. Moving in for sure tells a woman, you're super serious about her, and willing to settle down, at least in the medium term.

It's often a pre-marriage step. But any woman is going to assume that she's someone you're into seriously and for the long-term.

Talk to your girl about coming over less, and forget any idea of any girl moving in, unless you change your mind and are looking to settle down.
Good luck

[NathanDavis]

what's the problem with it... though?

are you usually physically tired? is it a health issue?

[lorenzomichael]

No it’s not a health issue. I’m a union iron worker I’m in good physical shape I just don’t have a high sex drive

[NathanDavis]

that's odd... lol

well, just tell her that... that you have a low drive

because, once a day is not exactly a high-drive... high drive would be more like four times a day

[Crimsyjo]

Oh damnnn.

My boyfriend had trouble keeping up with me too. But we were 3 times a day for firs5 4 weeks before it cut down.

Anyways... it kinda sucks. But if I was her and you said daily is to much I'd respect that and use my toys in between. It's just... us women are taught and told men are super horny and if not then they can't really be all that into you. So it's a delicate situation for sure.

You have two issues cos if you also throw out that you don't hang her moving in or around so much that's just a whole drama of rejection feelings your be stirring up.

I don't think there is anything you can do except find right time for a heart to heart. And be clear about what is you and not any reflection on her. That's all you can do. And like defo offer cuddles and intimacy instead of sex.

[Abbycado]

Next time she comes over, have a toy on hand. Hand it to her and say "I have Thursdays off"

Seriously though, just be honest with her because it doesn't sound like she is going to slow down.

[lorenzomichael]

I like the first part of your answer it was funny.

[Abbycado]

Ty lol

[Abbycado]

Ty for mho!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you need to set some boundaries. As much as I like women I wouldn’t like her coming over everyday. Sometimes you just want to be on your own. It makes me think she’s desperate in a way. I’m not saying you’re a POS or something like that but her constantly coming over, I think there’s more to it than the sex for her. Like she’s trying to weasel her way into your place. Maybe she figures she has a better chance if moving in if she’s there all the time. She might say well I’m here all the time as it is. Plus giving you sex like that might be her way of trying to convince you to let her move in.

[lorenzomichael]

Yeah bro it’s cool she’s great and all but to come over every day is a little too much. Especially if I have some of my boys at my house shooting pool drinking beer just hanging out. Sometimes it’s just a guy thing.

[Opinion Owner]

No I get it. Start setting those boundaries. I hope she doesn’t turn out to be psychotic. It’s like she’s already laid her claim to you and your place.

[slatyb]

Every day? Twice a day would be better for me, but every day would be nice.