Why does everyone seem to need everything sugar coated?

[NotJustAnotherGuy]

They do know that sugar coating and pretending things are fine, just delays, and expands, the problem right?

I try to be straight and to the point with people.. but they get instantly p*ssed.

For my advice to be worthy, I usually have to point out a list of things that are going for them, before I can point out the one thing that actually needs addressing.

So, best answer goes to the person who explains best why they personally need things to be sugar coated.

And please, think about this before you answer, cause I'm sure a lot of you are going to at first thought think: "whoa! I hate things being sugar coated", when we all know the majority of people love it.

[xxChocolatexx]

Girls do this a lot :)

anyways, people sugarcoat things because no one likes to hear negative things about themselves, and no one (at least no one I know) really likes to say mean things, even if it's true. so if one of my friends would ask me if I like their new shirt, and I think it's absolutely horrible, I would say "it isn't something I would wear, but if you like it, it's great." which I guess is a form of sugar coating, even if the statement itself is true, because I wasn't truly speaking my mind.

And people get mad when things aren't sugar-coated because they're so used to being coddled. If we could all be direct with each other and not get mad at anyone for it, and just apply the advice, then we would have no need for sugar coating.

But this isn't the way most people work. They feel insulted if you don't sugar coat something because yes, some things are mean, but they are always meant in a helpful way. Sometimes sugar-coating is appropriate. A lot of the time, it's not. People need to realize they're not perfect and that they DO make mistakes sometimes, and should learn from it.

[Akikosmile]

We live in a society based on massive denial. Just for example, everyone says they want peace, or almost everyone, but we're spending oursevles into bankruptcy on massive military campaigns just about everywhere! We all know this, but who admits it?

It's not logical to assume that people living in such a regime are not going to live in denial regarding their personal lives,no?

In Asian culture, we try to be polite, but when we give our opinions, we do it pretty much straight out.

So I am like you, guy. I often get people angry at me.

Good for you for telling people right up front. It's good for them.

But I'm sure it's hard on you!1

[absolute-diva]

You're right. I believe if you're going to ask for advise you should take all advise. So many poeple on here write such stupid questions when the answer should be so obviously to them and then they criticize you for telling them the way it is.

I was thinking that I was the only person on here being singled out...

[Confused614]

Well no one wants to hear negative things...Like all those people who ask if they are good looking..What do you think would happen if everyone said no they would probably get all upset about...But you are right if you give an honest answer and the questioner doesn't agree they take it personally and usually leave a negative comment...I think most questions on here the people asking know the answers and they either want it re assured or want someone to tell them otherwise to feel better...Thats why I tend to stick to the "other" questions lol lot less drama

[NotJustAnotherGuy]

Exactly! I love how you mentioned how ugly people makes us lie to them, cause most people are scared I they're honest they'll go kill themselves.. of course you didn't go into that much detail.. but yeah!

Maybe I need to stay out of the relationships category.. I either get best answer, or bitched out.. it's horrible.

Well, you're my best answer for now.

[windyone]

Because people can't handle the truth and the truth hurts. Most people say they can handle it when you tell them straight up they get mad..I know exactly what your talking about. I have been told I'm blunt and straight forward (which I am).

[NotJustAnotherGuy]

Lol. I love it when people do that. "I'm blunt and straight forward".

That's like saying, "I'm intelligent and smart".

Haha, anyways, I get your point. Thanks. 1 up.

[Simple-Simonette]

I think there is a difference between "telling it like it is" and interjecting judgment and disguising it as a "helpful" answer.

Telling someone they are unattractive is a personal opinion; looks are subjective. Telling someone how to clean up their look to appear more attractive - despite your personal opinion - is being helpful.

I don't sugarcoat but I don't judge either.

The flip side to that is asking a question is inviting all kinds of comments. If you can't sift through the garbage then you need to hire a therapist and stop looking for answers on the internet.

[NotJustAnotherGuy]

How can you not judge a person??

That is a huge pet peeve of mine: "Don't judge people".

"I'm a pedophile/killer/rapist, don't judge"

That's retarded. To not judge a person is basically to say, "Hey don't think about me as a person with a personality or anything"

It's impossible to think of someone without judging them.

On another note, I agree with your helpful, despite opinion, answer. However, a lot of girls ask if they are ugly or not and "well.. you could use a shower" is mean too

[NotJustAnotherGuy]

Sometimes I feel, there's just no way around it.

[Simple-Simonette]

Of course, to you, there is no way around it. I may have an opinion, but I typically keep it to myself when giving advice.

[Cool-Relax]

Sugar coating things softens the blow. Whenever my friends ask me for my opinion, I give them an honest answer, but I do it as delicately as possible. There's no sense in hurting someone when they're just looking for advice, especially if it can be avoided.