My bf's sex drive is to low..yet he's masturbating? help?

[eurobebe]

i have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years, we have such a happy, fun filled relationship. We love being with each other and the sex for the most part has been great/amazing but for almost a year we were doing "sexual stuff" numerous times a and now every second day to every third or more or even random little spurts of a lot in a few days. He's not gay, and he's not cheating. Before we got together he hadnt done anything with a girl for almost 2 years, CARS TAKE OVER HIS LIFE! I 90% of the time have to get it going, and he can only come laying on his back, no matter what sexual act he's doing. anyways he knows I want more, he's well aware, he tells me he's tired, stressed and has a low sexdrive or he's always looking up car stuff while were in bed. He always says how out of his league I am and that its very intimidating.. I'm down to try anything, porn, dressing up, anal, we try and do it all so I found it bizarre when I caught him watching porn and masturbating at work! He had gotten home that day and I tried to get him in the mood and he shot me down, told me he was tired etc, then I found out it was actually because he had masturbated at work that day..UGH. I'm not okay with him doing that, I'm here, its not like he can't watch porn with me, we do, quite a bit. (he doesn't like it when I masturbate either) He can't keep up with me but yet he's masturbating at work? (I had a bad experience as a child to do with masturbation and men, that's why I don't like it and he knows that) he's says itll be easy to go against male nature and not do it again cause he knows how much it bothers me, and that he's only done it a handful or two times in our relationship.. but I don't find it fair to me!

im 5'6, tanned, dark brown long hair sometimes platinum blonde I like to switch it up, blue eyes, dd 34 breasts, 126ish pounds? 20, have a pretty nice ass. I'm very clean shaved, everywhere..

I don't get what going on with him, everywhere else in our relationship were great.. except here .. help?

[MrCuriousBr]

Hi

I've been right there where you say your fiancee is... Perfect relationship on all aspects except for diverging opions on "optimal sex frequency" but with a few wank jobs on the side kkk... To tell you the truth, sex drive was never a problem since I was actually masturbating every day, sometimes more than once. But, since I was hiding I was doing it (because I was ashamed), she obviously figured my problem was "low sex drive".

The shame part is the most important aspect of this story.

I started constructing my relation with masculinity, body and sexuality as a not so popular, not so good looking socialy awkward teenager. Masturbation was my best friend. To top it off, I grew up with a very VERY absent father, so no male figure to look up to. Despite that, I turned out to be a not so awkward, kind of good looking adult, but sexuality insecure.

When I met this fantastic girl - hot and sexually confident - I felt the same things you described: "she's way out of my league", "too opened minded", etc. It's VERY intimidating indeed. And it's a very tricky situation, I seriously asked myself "wtf, she's hot as hell, and I keep wasting my drive on masturbation... What's wrong with me? Am I Gay?". I actually went out with a Tranny and had her do me only to find out I'm definitely hetero.

And that's when I found out the whole problem was my low self-esteem as a man (masculinity issues). Took me a few years of therapy to get this all sorted in my head. I was lucky to find a Man's group all aimed at reinventing "this modern man". We basically sit down and share with each other stuff like what we are talking about in this post and actually figured out that this particular problem isn't something only a few men suffer from. A LOT OF US GO THROUGH THE SAME THINGS!!! But our Western Society doesn't stimulate men to talk to one another... So we just shrugg if off, swallow the shame, and continue with our lives.

I wouldn't say I'm completely cured. But, just being conscious about what was going on with me completely changed the way I view (and experience) sex. That whole process gave me enough confidence to understand that I have a partner with a more developed sexuality and that that's okay! And, actually, that we both could construct a sexual relationship based on that. So, she became my teacher. And, that turns her on like hell! She just loves helping me discover myself.

I still jerk off sometimes. It's something that's mine. But now it doesn't affect my drive.

[audreymarie21]

i'm sorry that you had a bad experience when you were younger, but do you really expect him to not masturbate? that's selfish. he isn't hurting anybody. he may feel uncomfortable sexually around you, perhaps you are too closed minded for him, so he feels like a sexual deviant around you.

[eurobebe]

He doesn't want me to either, so I don't think I'm being selfish, he says I'm to open minded for him lol

[Anonymous]

There's nothing that can be done that you've not already tried. He's simply not the man for you, time to get a new one. Sorry, but sex is an important part.. He's just not that into you.

[eurobebe]

Hes into me, he proposed only a few weeks ago, this isn't a break or make relationship thing, I'm just very curious to what's going on from a guys perspective

[Rareity]

Let's see a pic of you.

[Anonymous]

pics or it didn't happen.

[Just-A-Random-Guy]

"im 5'6, tanned, dark brown long hair sometimes platinum blonde I like to switch it up, blue eyes, dd 34 breasts, 126ish pounds? 20, have a pretty nice ass. I'm very clean shaved, everywhere.."

Seriously, what he said...

[eurobebe]

Picture is up, plenty more too..

[cj72323]

I’d fuxk you daily