Do you think it is disrespectful when someone friendzones you?

[Anonymous]

Don't you feel that person is thinking you are not good enough for him/her, and finds putting you in the friendzone the best way to reject you? In that case it wouldn't be disrespectful for you to show that you want to step out by ending the friendship, or that isn't right?

Updates

+1 y

That was a hypothetical question. I read something similar to what I asked somewhere else and I wanted your insight.

[America1st]

In today's PC world, everyone get's their poor feelings hurt over nothing. Why is it so wrong to tell your friend that you want to keep their friendship, but are not interested in more. If you take that honesty as meaning you were being rejected out of disrespect, that's all on you. The friend did absolutely nothing wrong. The big lesson here is that because a person isn't interested in a romantic relationship, it means just that and nothing more. If you can't take honest rejection when you are young and think everything has to be fair, you will be in for a huge shock when you have to be the adult. Life is not fair, never has been and never will be no matter how hard the PC police try. The PC world is not reality and when you've grown up, you will not like that the PC reality is a fake concept. This isn't a political statement, it's just the real world.

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

Wow, you used "PC" like, 4 times in the same paragraph. Truth is, thinking it's disrespectful to be friend zoned is about as anti-PC as you can get.

[America1st]

@HungLikeAHorsefly Having your feelings hurt and thinking you are being disrespected by something so simple is being PC. "We should never have to have somebody do something that might hurt our feelings". That is PC. I agree to disagree with you. I hope you can do the same.

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

I see where you're coming from. The OP is butthurt because he got rejected, which could be considered a PC thing. On the other hand, the reason he's butthurt is because he feels the woman in question owes him something for his "friendship", which is totally not PC.

[America1st]

@HungLikeAHorsefly I can agree with that. It's just wrong!

[Asker]

Thing is I'm not butthurt cause I didn't ask anyone out lol.

[JDavid25]

Well, not really... You would just feel disrespected cause romance is more important to you than friendship.. Sadly that's the way it is with this society.. Friendship is put at second fiddle, and romance is the most important aspect.. I feel like if they truly want to be friends, then there's no less than being in a romantic relationship.. So, depending on the situation I don't think it's disrespectful..

[samhradh_leannan]

Nobody is obligated to be attracted to you or date you. "Friend zoning" someone simply means that you're not attracted to them, but you want to be friends. There is nothing wrong or disrespectful about any of that. Unrequited feelings suck, but they're part of life, and that's something you have to accept. Looking at every person who doesn't want to date you as the enemy is just a waste.

[samhradh_leannan]

Choosing to end a friendship with someone who has "friend zoned" you is perfectly acceptable, but it should be done because it is legitimately the healthiest choice for you, not as a form of retaliation.

[fueledbythc]

Sometimes retaliation is healthiest for someone who is hurt

[samhradh_leannan]

@fueledbythc I strongly disagree with that. If you're no longer interested in a friendship with someone under these circumstances, can't have a healthy, comfortable friendship with them, or are too annoyed/angry/hurt to want to spend time with them, then those are all very valid reasons to end the friendship. But retaliation with the specific purpose of revenge is petty and low.

[fueledbythc]

Sometimes emotions make you irrational.

[samhradh_leannan]

@fueledbythc That's very true, but it's not an excuse or justification for any and every action. I'm not saying that ending a friendship under these circumstances is wrong or bad- it's a personal decision- but the intention to retaliate is very petty.

[xHoneyxBeex]

No one has an obligation to date anyone else. People are allowed to have preferences and standards for who they want to date. Similarly, if someone is rejected, they have every right to end the friendship and walk away. Just because someone "friendzones" you doesn't mean you have to continue being their friend.

[Shimy]

No, I think it's simply because they dont have the same feelings. I have friendzoned, and I've also been friendzoned. I mean, what else would you do if someone you really like as a friend told you they love you?
Tbh I don't even think ther's a thing such as friendzone.

[vishna]

No, people have no obligation to give anyone the time of day, let alone be their SO.
If a dude friend zones me, ok, I'll be sad I can't be with him b/c I like him, but I would never think he disrespected me. That's a really unhealthy way to think about relationships.

[Screenwriter]

The friendzone isn't about a person not being "good enough" for you. It's about the person not being interested in you as a romantic partner.

That could be for a host of reasons: not attracted to you that way, has other goals in mind at the time, might've only been LOOKING for a friend to begin with, doesn't feel you two jibe together (in her opinion. Doesn't matter what YOU think).

Not about disrespect. It's about whether the romantic shoe fits in all its complications.

[Billlewis]

Well said, ma'am.

[logically4speaking]

Best way to put it is, think if you were actually interested in someone and they just said ok that’s cool but I don’t see you as good enough to experience even just a little bit of fun and take a chance since it feels good for them anyways. They just keep you as a friend when it’s convenient for them and the things they use you for. it’s not like it’s the end of the world. it either feels or good or it doesn’t and you would know next time. You put yourself so high on in ego thinking you need the absolute perfect and that your the only one who matters. cause when guys friend zone you it’s a different story am I right?

[truthbeknown]

Disrespectful isn't the right word. Being disrespectful would be telling you to get lost when you ask her out. It is normal to feel negative things because it is still a rejection, but like @xHoneyxBeex says, she isn't obligated to like you. If she FZ'd you, that is because she didn't find you attractive in that way. Doesn't mean you or her did anything wrong.

[Nuala]

Of course they aren't disrespecting you.
Let me explain it this way, let's say you have a guy friend that's gay and he's totally into you. Now assuming you're straight, you wouldn't want to hop his bones right? Not because you disrespect him but because you just plain out are not into him.

Does that make sense?

[Anonymous]

It depends about the situation, but most time I don't think it's disrespectful. And anyway, according to my experience sometimes, it is disrespectful for the girl who friendzoned/rejected me, since then, most time they got engaged after a few days while they replied to me "I have no intentions to get engaged now, you're very kind and polite but I see you like a friend :)"... so they really turned out to be hypocritical.

[Nyx_85]

No but I think you need to get over yourself if you think a chick should automatically be into you just because you like her. I've been friendzoned before. Either people like you or they don't. But they don't owe you a thing.

[Nyx_85]

And all that time you waste being butt hurt over the chicks that don't dig you is time you could have spent going out and meeting OTHER GIRLS.

[logically4speaking]

Seriously what’s so hard about taking a chance tho? you never know where it could end up most you girls love the feeling anyways and if your looking for a easy way in life understand that if you just were cool about it guys would give you stuff and give you more benefits and support. saying no just makes it worse.

[kaylaS91]

No, there's nothing wrong with choosing to not be friends with someone who you have romantic feelings for when you find out that they don't feel the same way about you.

[Account]

No. I wouldn't be offended if someone thought I am ugly for them. I'd just accept it. It's cool. I'd also keep on being their friend, no issue with that.

[Joonam]

No, I think it is annoying when they know you like them but instead of being straightforward that they don't feel the same, they lead you on.

[Anonymous]

I you weren't really there friend and just wanted more then there is no friendship to end just fade out. And no not wanting to be in a relationship with every guy your friendly with is more then fine in my book.

[coachTanthony]

If I am not attracted to the person in that way then guess what.. they are not good enough for me. It's really that simple.

[xDocilexFaeriex]

No, wouldn't you rather have the truth and move on than get lead on forever? Just find someone new! :)

[fauchelevent]

No, I don't and I don't think that it's disrespectful to end a friendship if you can't deal with not being what they want romantically.

[Chico_brah]

No. It simply means they aren't sexually attracted to you. Get over it.

[Anonymous]

People only end up in the friendzone if they choose to stay there. Guys save your time. Ask a girl out. She says no or flakes. Don't contact her again.

SIMPLE.

[Nadzzz]

Let's make an example... if 3 guys hit on a girl at the same time what is she supposed to do?

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's disrespectful, but I won't pretend to be friends with a woman that I view as more than friendship material.

[Bleepasaurus_RexEwww]

No lol they don't have to like me

[dogfish]

um no. no ones obligated to like u back.

[Anonymous]

no it is fine