“Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.” ― Mitch Albom, For One More Day
Oh yeah. Both paternal grandparents. The most heart wrenching was when the undertaker's men were locking the coffin lid with my grandmother inside. Like sealing her fate. I had to turn away; i couldnt bear to look. It was one of the few times my dad had ever cried in front of me. Similar story for my grandfather, who brought up 12 children with my grandma. Being the youngest grandchild they loved me the most. Until now i can still recall her voice telling me to be careful, asking if i was hungry... There was nothing i could do but allow myself to grieve for them, and let time heal the wounds.
I lost a couple family friends as well. One was killed in a hit-and-run. The other died to cancer. Another died in a motorcycle accident. We hd known each other since i was very young.
I lost a dear friend when a misunderstanding made her hate me for something i didn't even do.
I lost my sweetheart; my parents forced us apart.
Life is full of painful experiences that remind us to cherish the good times we have together.
Both of my grandmother's.. but one grandmother was tougher than another. However even then I was too young to form any real strong connection. Or rather it did not effect me as something like a parent. I think the best way was to express feelings than move on and look forward knowing that's what she would have wanted
I am sorry to hear that!!! I have not had a loss like that yet but my parents are on the cue and so is one of my grandfathers. My grandfather is a fighter and my parents are both weak spirited at the moment. One is very depressed and the other has physical ailments which borderline on more worry and stress than truth sometimes but both have talked about what they want after they die... so that's where I am at. Think my dad is at 57 and my mom is a little older than like 60
I've lost many who were close to me. Recently. The worst thing to do is to bottle it up and pretend everything is okay. The best things to do are to self care, and to let yourself miss the person. And as for those who tell you they are better off in heaven, tell them to leave you be. It's completely acceptable to miss someone even if you do believe in a form of afterlife. Hope this isn't a personal question for you but if it is stick to those 3 things and you'll get through it.
You never get over it. You learn to live with the pain, the emptiness. The void created like a hole in your heart and soul. You go on because you owe it to the people around you who love you and depend on you
I lost my grandma 2011. Because of horrible family differences my moms siblings had my mom and uncle banned from the hospital. And didn’t tell us what they would do for a funeral. Luckily my older brother was going to basic training and my grandma was on life support. He had to leave soon. He was there one last day said I love you to her and she was gripping his arm. When he left the hospital she was unresponsive an hour after that. They were very close. After, that at the time my mom was struggling and couldn’t afford to pitch in for a funeral. my grandpa was persuaded by my aunt and didn’t help my mom at all. Years later my grandpa is in need of care and no one bothers to help him. He has light Alzheimer’s so he shows up to my mom’s life as if nothing bad happens to ask if she wants to take him to the casino. It hurts her because she tells him no and that she doesn’t want to do it for him because he hurt her. Something she has to do. But I feel like the memories of my grandma are just from a past life. And that not having been to a service, made it seem like she just left, it that makes sense. It hurts more because her death could’ve been prevented. But I’m so happy that my mom named me after her. We love and miss you, Leonor Gonzalez
I have lost plenty of people in my life. Some walked out on me and some passed away. You never really stop griefing for people who has passed away. But doesn't mean it's in a bad way. You have that days to honor them and remember them. I hold find memories and forgive the people who did walked out my life. The thing is the that you can never really heal when someone pass away. You remember you wake up that they are gone, you miss everything that you had with them. The feelings you shared with them. I can only live with the fact seeing this world with their eyes , see the world they wanted me to see it. The essence that they planted around you is always there. The love they have showed me, is always with me. To honor them , is to walk in the world with a brave heart and see the world in a unique way but knowing they are always with me... i carry them with my heart.
My Oupa was murdered in front of myself, my mom and my step dad in 2015 which was just before I left to New Zealand. We were visiting as it was going to be my last time seeing him and he was broken into, stabbed with a garden fork and then shot with his own gun. Then two of my best friends. They came to New Zealand the same time I did but they both were just internal students for the year. When that year ended, they went back home and my friend Jarred was murdered. About 4 months after my friend Jarred died, my friend Cayde was killed in a hit and run. Was absolutely heartbreaking. I mean there are days that it just hits me real hard but after seeing a therapist, doing emdr, having so much other stuff to distract me, it all helped m get over it but not completely, just enough for me to cope.
Not sure. I actually wasn't so phased by it as I thought at first, only to find it came out now and then when I got drunk or something like that.
>> [...] wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever?
Not so much anymore. Spilled milk and all that. I stopped believing in any idea of "closure" of a kind we can't find on our own, otherwise it tends to get very miserable and elusive.
@dosiax Thanks, though this all happened to be over ten years ago so I'm good now. Actually I think it helps to not dwell on that kind of, "What if I could have said goodbye?" kind of thoughts, cause I think that makes us more upset, not less. At least that was the tendency for me, dwelling in past regrets. Wounds never heal doing that in my experience. You get better looking forward to present and future.
Absolutely, and how can we know exactly when our friends will pass away, there is no knowing. You can just stay nice to them and there will never be a need to say sorry for the last time or goodbye for the last time
My grandfather who passed away this past December. I was very close to him. Being that my father chose not to be around and support us, my grandfather was the closest thing I had to a father-figure. And his stupid sense of humor had a huge influence on my punny lifestyle. I especially wish he was around to hear about my accomplishments. I know he would have been extremely proud. I mean, he always was proud of his eight grandsons as we were often a topic on his mind, but he would undoubtedly have been even more proud to have heard about my new job after having struggled so long to find work. I'll never forget him.
Yes, several people very close to me hav died. I coped by getting drunk so I wouldn't feel the Emotional and Physical Pain did it that way got over 30 years. When I quit drinking all the Grief I tried to avoid came rushing through like a Raging River, I had to learn how to feel the Grief and Live Life at the same time. Crying is a good thong, releases the Pain and Toxins in your Body...
My cousin. He died at 22 in a car crash. My uncle is a soldier they were constantly moving. Never actually spent much time with him, but the little time we share he taught me how to draw, he share his music interests, he let me play with his gaming consoles in that time GBA and that sort. Last time we saw each other was when I went to Texas for my cousin (his sisters) wedding. We played almost every day super smash Bros that I brought from home. One day we where out adventuring and when we came home he was there sitting on the floor eating chicken and playing solo. I ran and joined him, I can still see the smile he had when we played together.
My grandmother. She was legally blind, her last few years & had broken her hip. So it was hard for her to get around. She seemed so out of touch, when we were together we had nothing to talk about. I regret not sharing more with her during those last years. I realized she must have been the one to always have held our conversations. I do miss her.
I don't know if i have lost someone close to me. I know my great grandad died and so did my great grandma but i was never really close even tho i did know them my whole life so i wasn't really sad at all. Then there is my ex who haven't seen in two years and lets just say her life is full of drugs and all sorts so she could be dead but i don't know and if she did die i would probably be sad about that as weird as that sounds.
Yes loss my Mother in 2003 . Loss my Grandparents in 1996 & 1998 and recently just found out i loss a close friend/ neighbor girl, who was only age 30.. She got her own apartment, got her Masters Degree in Social Working and no one could get a hold of her one day and she was found deceased in her apartment. Autopsy found she had a enlarged heart and never knew it.
Yes. My father died when I was 15 two days after my birthday.
All I can say is that things like that make person mature quickly and see life from a different perspective...
It was rough for quite a number of years especially during my school days... but I'd say time itself helps you to come to terms with the loss and not trying to hide or fight the pain.
Im in denial until I collapse. Maybe my loss is not as much as other people. But I had a female dog and it was the first dog my dad gave to me and told me to take care of her. When she died I didn't want them to bury her and thought she will be better after. My family steal her from me to bury her in the yard and I feld so bad. I have had her since I was 4 and she died 2 years ago because she developed breat cancer. I never cryed as much as I did when she died.
I lost my father, mother and older sister. But I never really felt any grief. Both my mother and father were pretty old when they died, but my older sis was too young to die (of lung cancer). So far, nobody's death has ever really affected me very much
I lost my dad 5 months ago to cancer. Found out he have cancer 2 weeks before he died. It was trauma. I guess do the things you love? Hold the dear memories you have of them. It's ok to cry. Don't be afraid to show it.
Yes. And she's not dead, she just chose to walk out of my life. We were best friends and then one day it all stopped. No calls, texts, seeing each other anymore. I had one bad day and said the wrong thing. I regret ever opening my mouth that day. I'd give the world to change that day and have her back in my life. Continual state of sadness.
Yes my best friend like a Brother to me killed himself and i talked to him the day before he did it and I wish i could hear a cry for help when i talked to him but i didn't , I went through a state of depression and didn't care much about anything anymore for awhile , i was angry
It changes you. You look the world differently. Suddenly nothing makes sense. You let it all out, you are angry you can't help it. You watch the people you know look at you helplessly being sucked into your vortex of misery and you try to cut them out.
Days go by, month or two, suddenly you are able to sleep and wake up without tears. It still hurts, just not as much. It gets better.
I lost my parents and both brothers. I grieved spread out, not all at once. I couldn't do it all at once. And keeping busy throughout kept it from being too overwhelming.
15 years ago i lost my dad through cancer and he was hiding from the family that he was sick I had a huge argument with him and I said some hurtful things and his cancer was progressing fast I didn't get to apologise until he was dieing I held his hand and kissed him on his forehead and watched him take his last breath. was the hardest moment in my life but Im glad I was there with him.
Yes, my grandparents. A week ago my cousin passed away from lung failure after having spine corrective surgery for his scoliosis. He was only a few years younger than me.
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