I’m about to finish my first year in college in Singapore. Next week, we’ll have end of the year ceremony followed by a photo shoot which everyone is obligated to attend. The problem is, apparently here they have a traditional photo where girls have to sit in front of boys, with their bare soles exposed. I personally hate being barefoot and having a picture of me like this is horrifying me. And I’m hearing rumors about if a girl refuses to attend this photo shoot, then she gets further embarrassing punishments by students afterwards. Am I making this a big deal? How’d you think being in a photo like that? What should I do?
Sexist and embarrassing photo shoot tradition of my school?
And you will not say anytjing about this poor dude?
They are sitting in front, they are not on their knees prasing the dudes nor they are kissing their feet. You are brainwashed, to keep dividing the society and make it focus in stupid things instead of the real problems of the earth... When i was graduated it was the opposite, males where on their knees ladies where behind and nobody complained about it
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I'm not complaining about sitting down or kneeling, I'm complaining about being barefoot, only girls being barefoot...
Haha I also have the same insecurity about being barefoot, but thankfully I haven’t been pushed into that situation. I don’t find that to be a normal tradition in the slightest. Then again, I’m a guy, and maybe it’s different for guys, dunno
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Even though people say I have pretty feet, I’m still really self conscious about them. I feel we have quite a bit in common haha, guess I’m not alone now
If it's a school tradition then you'll just have to pose for the picture. That or be forced to walk through the halls of the school barefoot for the next quarter before you can graduate.
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But isn't it a sexist and humiliating photo to pose?
But I hate my feet being seen, can't I avoid it somehow in your opinion? Also how do you know about the punishment ideas, do you know anyone from my school?
To asker, to say that the rules isn’t fair isn’t a good enough way to attempt implementing change, because rules and life aren’t always going to be fair or ideal, in fact, never shall it be like that. The thing to mention is the fact that there is perversion in it, and that perverts are not entitled to see women’s body parts they don’t wish to display, regardless to what it is. That makes the case and marks the real thing/word.
Hi! I know it's a little late, but I just found your question here and wanted to share my opinion. I hope you can still read it, as I would love to talk to you about this. So yes, I can definitely understand why this is so embarrassing for you. Like you, I am also very shy to show my feet to anyone, for example I don't wear sandals in summer either. I have had a similar experience, so I really understand how it must have been for you. We have a school photographer coming every year and they took individual photos of everyone. It was also obligatory to take part in this and the photos were paid for in advance. Anyway, this year the they came up with a new concept. So we were all told to show up with jeans and white T-shirts or tops. They didn't tell us what shoes to wear, though. So at that day, everyone was called up individually for a 10-15 min photo session. And at the beginning I was told that this year the photos would be taken with bare feet, so I had to take off my shoes and socks. I hadn't expected this at all, but I replied that I'd prefer to keep my shoes on. She said, however that shoes were not allowed on the canvas and anyway at the end she would take a group shot of our whole class were everyone would have to be the same, so everyone barefoot. Also, socks were not allowed for aesthetic reasons. So I had no choice but to take off my shoes and socks. All of the shots were taken full-body, although in different positions, but my bare feet show in all of them. In the end, we had to choose one picture for our year book, so everyone will see me with bare feet. It was really a big thing for me and still is, when I think about this. I also have been to a photo studio with my family, and there it was the same, our photographer made everyone take off shoes and socks, too. I think it's just a photographer's thing.
So, back to your case. I would love to talk to you about this, so please send me a friend request (as I don't know who you are). I think it's always better to be able to talk to someone who feels the same. :)
First of all, I would like to hear how it turned out. So, were you barefoot after all? Personally, I would have been as embarrassed as you are. However, I don't really think it's a sexist rule. It would be, if somehow the girls were intended to be degraded by having to show their bare feet. I understand that this is how you feel and it must have been a huge humiliation, as it would have been (or was) for me. But generally, most people don't see bare feet as something embarrassing, especially in Asian culture, so probably for most of the girls it wasn't a big thing. I don't think it's sexist per se to have girls and guys dress up differently. Please tell me your experience and your opinion!
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Finally somebody who understands me :) Wish you were here several months ago, we could discuss and could find a good response. Here's what happened:
I showed up there with my shoes and socks on still now knowing what to do. I was still considering about running away but I had heard there are some embarrassing forfeits for the girls whose did not attend the photo shoot after in the next semesters. I also thought a lot about talking to other girls if they feel same as me so maybe we could all rebel against this rule and not do it.
So as I'm standing there with the other girls, deep in my thoughts, tutor came and said "it's time to go". Hearing this, the other girls immediately started to take off their shoes and socks while I'm looking at them in anger for obeying this easy. After half a minute, tutor called my name and this turned a lot of eyes on me as I'm beginning to stay the only shod girl there. So I couldn't stand the social pressure and had no choice but to remove my shoes and socks right there.
Turned out, we had to walk to the place where the photo shoot will be. I really wanted to take my shoes and socks with me at least but did not have a chance as everyone moved so quickly and I got pushed around a little bit. As we kept walking the floor felt a lot colder then I imagined as I'm not really used to it. The boys were walking behind us, I felt like all of them were trying to look at my feet so I tried to walk as in the middle as possible. Behind all those chattings and whisperings all I could hear was the sound of boys' hard soled shoes with our tutor's heeled boots and slappings of ours bare soles.
Then we finally reached to the place. Although it was deeply embarrassing for me to stand in front of everyone barefoot, it was going far easier than I expecting as I believed that I managed to hide my bare feet among the crowd in all of the shots.
But then, they made us sit in front of boys. My desperate attempts of hiding my feet under my body quickly terminated after we clearly instructed to extend our legs so I didn't have the slightest chance to hide my feet from the camera. I felt really vulnerable while my bare soles that I kept hidden for years being photographed which everyone will see! I tried to act normal but as I'm white skinned my blushed face became easily noticeable behind my white soles in almost every photo!
And when we go back as I'm thinking it's finally over we found that boys hid all our shoes and socks! At this moment I noticed a lot of girls were as disturbed as I am by this. But all the tutor did was laughing about it and instructing us what to do next in the day! It turned out this was a common thing too.
So it was a horrible and humiliating day for me. So please don't tell me it's ok or not sexist 😭
Hi, and thank you for that long report. Actually, it's really helpful because in fact I might be in that situation myself soon. I've applied for a students' exchange program and selected several countries in South East Asia with Singapore as my first priority. So now I'm wondering if it's the same in all colleges in Singapore or only in yours. Maybe I should ask a question about it and see if anyone has had a similar experience. Well yes, your day sounds really terrible and humiliating. It would have been the same for me. I'm sure though that your feeling that all the boys were staring at your feet was more your own imagination ;) So if I understand you correctly, it wasn't the tutor who forced you to take off your shoes and socks, but rather social pressure from the other students? So maybe would there have been a way to just keep your socks on? And what happened to those photos? You mentioned that everyone is able to see them, so were they published somewhere? And have you asked why only the girls are forced to have bare feet, but not the guys? Or why you were made to point your feet into the camera so that they were explicitly made visible? Was this actually the point of it all, to make everyone see your bare feet? About if it is sexist or not: I didn't want to question how you feel about this. As I said, I fully understand how humiliating this must have been for you. I just meant that the intention behind this tradition is probably not sexist. In Asian countries, having bare feet is probably even more common than in Europe and it's rather uncommon that someone feels embarrassed to show his/her feet. Also, girls are seen barefoot or with sandals much more often than guys, probably everywhere around the world. So for most people it's probably just a fun tradition that wasn't intended to degrade girls. Are you still in Singapore? If that's where I'll go too and you'll be there for another year or so, maybe we could meet there :) PS: May I ask where are you from?
Oh and I decided to ask, if this is common in Singapore and other SE Asian countries, as I thought maybe it just happens at some colleges, but not all of them. I can’t post links, so I will insert an x into the https. Just remove it and you can find my question htxtps://www. girlsaskguys. com/education-career/q4109555-any-experience-with-studying-in-singapore-south-east-asia Anyway, there some guys said that all this is not true, so there is no obligation to be photographed in bare feet. So maybe it was just in your college? Can you tell me which it was? And if you want, maybe you can contribute under my question and reply to what the other guys said. I’d really like to know now if I’ll have to do this or not.
And by the way, where did you find those photos you posted? I searched for example photoshoots from Singaporean universities on the internet, but didn't find anything. Those photos of yours are from Vietnam though, right? I now heard that they have this tradition in Vietnam as well.
I don't think there would be a way to keep my socks on for long in that situation. They even hid my them after that photo shooting!
I was too shy to talk about this with anybody so don't know the whole idea behind this. But I can say that it's not like girls here wear sandals even when the weather is hot. They always tend to wear closed shoes. That was why I was hopeful that someone else might refuse to take their socks off there, until I saw them all barefoot in seconds.
Photos were displayed at the school hall and shared on the social media thanks to my dear friends 😭
Yes I'll be in Singapore for at least 2 more years so let me know if you come here in that time period, but I don't wish to share any more personal details until then.
I don't know where the photos in my question is from I got them from a classmate when I asked for some examples, I don't think our photos are published publicly on the internet by the school thankfully.
Hey! Of course you don’t have to share personal details if you don’t want to. But could you tell me at least which university you are going to? That way at least I know what I should expect in case my exchange program is with the same one. Yes, if I’ll come to Singapore it will be in that time period, so yes, I’ll let you know! So, did this photo shoot only occur once, or will there be more such shoots during your stay where you will be required to have bare feet? You said you don’t think that you could have kept on your socks. But were you explicitly told that you have to take your socks off? Or was it more like social pressure because all the other girls had already taken them off? Is it possible they would have let you get away with it because you are an exchange student? Or do the same rules apply to exchange students as well? And yeah, it’s good that at least those photos are not published on the internet. That would be really bad… So if those photos are displayed in the school hall, did they at least select some photos where the soles of bare feet were not that visible? Are they displayed at a place where many people pass and look at them? And are those pictures there only temporarily or will they be hanging there permanently? Sorry for all those questions, I hope that’s ok. It’s just that I realized I might be in the same position as you in a few months, so it would really help me to know as much about it as possible.
Hopefully there won't be any more shots like this, but at this point I'm too afraid to ask...
When my classmate first explained me that we had to go barefoot in this shoot and when I immediately asked if we'll wear socks she firmly said no so I was shy to ask again if it's completely necessary. And no other girl kept their socks (I waited until the last second) and I believe some of them would if it that was allowed and it was not a very warm day.
Same rules apply in everywhere with exchange and native students so yes you have'd to attend to the photo shoot and you have to be barefoot, end of story I guess.
The photos are published on the internet, as I said they were on my social media! Most of my friends and family saw that photos!
They said that we can view the photos on the hall but I never had the nerve to go there and look at them! Hopefully they are not there anymore before everybody sees them.
I hope you don't have to go to a university with the same sexist traditions.
Yeah, I hope I won’t have to go to your university then. But it’s not my choice, as we could only pick countries and there were always many universities included in the exchange program, which distributes students to them. And yeah, maybe you were right about saying that it’s sexist after all. I mean, we don’t know the reasons why they require this, but it can be really humiliating for the girls, at least for some of us. And I’m beginning to wonder if this kind of humiliation is really what the whole tradition is about? Or maybe it is just a fun tradition that most students find funny, without having any further thoughts about it, although there will always be a few girls who don’t like it. Maybe if I were you I would try to find out if there will be more photo shoots like that. Because if there will, I guess it would be good for you to know in advance, right? And if there won’t, it will probably put your mind at ease somewhat. Well yes, the way you describe it sounds like you really are not allowed to wear socks in the shoot. I hoped that it might be possible to just take off your shoes and walk to the photo shoot in your socks. But since you mentioned those embarrassing punishments, maybe they would make it worse for you afterwards, even if you did manage to wear socks in the photos? You mentioned that as a punishment the other students would be stealing your shoes at normal days, too, for example. Would they also steal your socks then? Because I would surely prefer to walk around in my socks from time to time, in case they only steal shoes, over being photographed completely barefoot. Anyway, so you don’t know which photos are selected to hang on the wall at school? I hope it’s not the ones where you have to show the soles of your bare feet. At least for me that would be even more embarrassing. And I guess those photos are composed in a way that they attract additional attention to your bare feet, as they will be very prominent in the pictures, right?
I'm thinking about this all the time now, and the thought that I might find myself in the same situation soon (if the program doesn't get postponed due to Corona) is troubling me, although I am so much looking forward to my time as an exchange students. It's still hard to believe for me that a university would have a rule like that. It really seems so weird. I don't doubt that you are telling the truth, as you have no reason to make all this up obviously. It just still doesn't get into my head. I've looked for it on the internet and didn't find any such photos. Maybe if these photos are commonly shared on social media, could you post a few more examples (they don't have to include you, of course)? It would make it easier for me to really get an idea how those pictures are taken.
If the purpose of this tradition is to make it funny for the boys and humiliating for the girls then congratulations it's a very successful tradition. Thanks for finally agreeing with me about how sexist this tradition is!
Knowing if there's more barefoot photo shoots wouldn't do me any good as I can't do anything about it 😭
I think it's really naive to think that they'd let you keep your socks after if you manage to attend the photo shoots in your socks. Did I mentioned that those punishment are given by other girl students? Would you let a girl keep her socks when you had to pose there in your bare feet? I probably wouldn't...
Yeah I don't want to know which photos are hanged at the wall. You're quite right about those pictures, in the standing ones you might not even notice the bare feet if you don't look at the bottom of the picture but in the other ones you can clearly see my white bare soles right under my blushed face 😭
If you still find it hard to believe then please come to study at my university and they'll gladly show you! The photos I had added to this question should give you the idea about how they are taken as they are very similar...
Mmh yes, I do find it hard to believe, although as I said, I do believe you. It’s just a very weird tradition that I never heard about before. And given how humiliating it is for some girls, it’s surprising that they are so strictly enforcing this. I was also surprised not to find anything on the internet about it. Well, I hope I won’t have to follow your suggestion to come to your university and experience it myself haha. Anyway, SMU is on my program’s list, so I could definitely be sent there. But probably this tradition exists at many universities in Singapore, right? So even if I’ll go to another one, it will still be the same. Do you know anything about this? About the pictures on the wall, I think that the ones where everyone is standing, at least your bare feet won’t be so prominent. I would notice them anyway as bare feet are kind of a special issue for me, so I always kind of subconsciously notice what people wear on their feet. But probably that’s just me. But yeah, in the sitting ones definitely everyone will notice that you have bare feet, as I guess that’s the whole point of this. Anyway I understand why you didn’t even want to see which photos were put on the wall. I really hope it’s not the ones with your soles showing. But you saw the pictures that were shared by your friends on social media, right? Did they share those pictures with bare soles as well? I mean, they could have realized that this is embarrassing for some of the girls and decide not to share it publicly. I think I will definitely tell my friends that I feel uncomfortable about this and ask them not to share those photos with anyone.
For me, having the soles of my bare feet exposed would probably be the worst way to pose. I can’t really explain why, but somehow, while having bare feet makes me really uncomfortable in general, if I have to show the bottom of my feet (let alone have them photographed) it makes it even more embarrassing. Is it the same for you? And did you notice if any of the other girls maybe found this embarrassing as well? You mentioned that the punishments are given by other students, but I thought it was mainly the guys who do this, because I assumed that for some reason they find it funny to make you go barefoot once they realize how embarrassing it is for you. My male friends definitely would find this funny haha. But yes, it actually makes sense that it’s the girls. Probably they think, if I had to show my bare feet in those photos, it’s unfair that this European girl was allowed to wear socks, so we’ll have to make her regret this. So would you say that if you try to somehow avoid this, for example by not showing up in that photograph or trying to keep your socks on, it will only make things worse? That would mean that I will really have no choice but to do what you did and accept that my bare feet will be in those photos, right?
The problem is, it's not like the other girls come to the shoot with tears on their eyes. That's why this rule is easily enforced. Maybe they like being degraded in their culture. And they want every other girl to be the same. No girl rebels against this. Because maybe they fear of consequences. Maybe you can manage it:)
Mmh, I don’t think that I will be able to rebel against the rule, being only an exchange student. I mean, I can try of course, but probably it will be just me then, which means that I’ll probably just make it worse for myself. However, I guess I will try to use the fact that I’m an exchange student, so at the day of our photo shoot, I will keep on my shoes and when they tell me to remove them, I will say that I’m just an exchange student, so maybe they can make an exception for me. I will also say that in Europe we don’t have this kind of tradition and for me it is really humiliating having to show my bare feet in a photograph like this. So I hope that they won’t push it given that I’m not from Singapore. And if they really insist that I must have bare feet, I will ask them if I can pose in a way where they are hidden or at least I don’t have to let them photograph my bare soles. If my feet aren’t on the photographs and therefore are not shared on social media or hanging in the school building, it will be just that one day that I will have to get through, without everyone seeing me barefoot in the photos afterwards.
You're a lot braver than I am. I was too shy to resist them, I immediately took off my socks right after they just called my name. Maybe you can manage this. But it'd definitely make the matters worse if you insist refusing to take your shoes off in the first place if you'll be taking them off anyway after they ask for it, and they definitely will, being an exchange student doesn't give you the right of hiding your feet apparently.
Instead maybe you can try this: On the photo shoot day, wear a traditional dress of your own country that includes boots and pantyhose which is hard to take off. And insist that you won't take them off as it's your countries traditional costume.
But it's still very risky because even if you manage to hide your feet in the photo shoot there's no guarantee about what will happen after in the next semesters.
So is there any result regarding your application? Will you be definitely coming here? If so, which university?
Hey! This time it was me who didn’t see your post haha Yes, actually a few days ago I received a message from them. I got accepted at SMU, but due to Corona it’s not clear yet if I’ll be able to start in August or if it’s going to be postponed.
Thank you for your suggestion about wearing a traditional dress. In the UK actually we don’t really have traditional dresses haha. And it would be reaaaallly weird if a girl turned up at university wearing some historic dress or something like that. So everyone would understand immediately that this is actually an excuse in order not to participate in the photo shoot in the normal way. So I suppose I’m just going to have to wear normal clothes to that photo shoot, like a top, pants and sneakers, as that is what I normally wear. Ok, since you say they will definitely make me take off my shoes, I will not try to resist, as this will only call unwanted attention. So I will just take them off without complaining, but without taking off my socks. I don’t have a problem to be photographed in socks, so I will just try to keep them on, as maybe people won’t even pay so much attention to our feet. Maybe I imagine this wrongly, but I guess the photo shoot will be over after a few minutes anyway and as everyone will be busy and probably not care too much about my feet, it could be possible to get away with it. What do you think? Do you think this is a realistic plan? :)
@seahorsegirl , here are some questions I posted you might be interested in answering:
Girls, what would you do if you were dating, summer came by, & your boyfriend/fiancé/husband dumped you for never wearing sandals?
Girls, what would you do if you were dating, summer came by, & your boyfriend/fiancé/husband dumped you for never wearing sandals in formal occasiona?
Now that is sexist as actual such! I say ask all other girls who thinks this is sexist, explain that either everyone is given the option to be barefoot or wear shoes, everyone is required to wear shoes, or everyone is required to be barefoot. Ask guys about if they believe this is sexist and a form of perversion so a lot will refuse to be in the photo in protest. Do that with students in other colleges too. People who run these things need to be looked at and need a psychologist to see how much of a psychopath they are!
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Hi, thanks a lot for the reply. But this question is old and I had to attend the photoshoot last year as is despite I completely agree with you about how sexist it is! But the worse is, I think the same photoshoot will happen again the the beginning of the next semester. So I'm considering about your idea of talking the people but I'm really shy to talk about this topic. Them knowing that how uncomfortable I am with my bare feet would make it much worse for me. Also those people are really strict about their traditions and they even have punishments for those who don't obey the traditions so it could make the situation much worse for me.
I can assure you that you’re not the only one who is uncomfortable with that, so if you talk to others about it, you will more than likely find people who are also uncomfortable with that. There can’t be such a tradition requiring women to show of their feet like that! There are a lot of perverts that will stare and do other crazy stuff. Like in China, there used to be foot binding of women’s feet, and they stopped it because of the people who worked to stop it. Victory doesn’t come without sacrifice unfortunately. There are a lot of crazy traditions to get rid of still, like the expectation or requiring of women to wear makeup and high heels to work, and men having to wear long pants even in the hot summer, especially there in Singapore where it gets crazy hot and humid. Challenging them won’t be easy, but what’s worth having doesn’t come easy. But to achieve anything, it starts with a single step. The first simple step is to find other girls/young ladies who are also uncomfortable in being barefoot and then the plan can start being made to challenge the system. Martin Luther King Jr stopped racial segregation in the United States by peaceful protests and sit-ins. It wasn’t easy, it took several years, and there were arrests and worse stuff happening, but they were persistent and achieved a great revolution.
They absolutely have no right to do that! I get really angry everytime I think about it. But there's really nothing that I can do to make it better for me. Those Singaporean people are such that when they find a weakness on you, they love to push it. For example, at the end of the last photoshoot boy hid some of our shoes and socks including mine but fortunately I got them back very soon because I pretended like it's not a big deal and smiling even though I was dying inside. But some other uncomfortable looking girls had a really a hard time getting them back, it was horrible even to watch. So it's really a big risk for me to tell other people how I absolutely hate it. And I also mentioned you about how strict they are about the tradition and there are embarrassing punishments given if you don't follow them. I have heard that the punishment include having your shoes stolen right off your feet through the next year and that punishment are actually given by the girls. So there is no backing each other up thing among the girls, it's more like if I had to do it then everyone must do it mindset. So as you see I don't have any option other than enduring it silently no matter how much I hate it! What do you think?
Well, I think you should take your chances. You should go talk with that other girl who was also uncomfortable, and then take your chances with asking other girls but should first observe to be sure you actually get the right people in your team, and then you must take your chances to launch the reform. You can say things like: •”Who are they to tel us what to do with our feet?” •”You see, if this was such a normal thing, why don’t they do it with guys too? They are doing this only to girls, and we can’t ignore this any longer. It is safe to say that there is perversion in this and they dare to call it tradition so we don’t notice the truth and to just blindly and silently comply! We can’t let this outrageous thing to just continue like this. It’s just like when there was foot binding in China, they called it a tradition. But is it really a normal tradition? They may not be injuring us, but they are mislabeling this as tradition to get their way! I think it should be up to the individual as to whether or not to go barefoot. You either allow everyone to make the choice to go barefoot or to not go barefoot, require everyone to go barefoot, or prohibit everyone from going barefoot.”
It can be true that an average girl doesn’t grow as much as an average boy, and they are further using that as an excuse to have you guys to sit down to show off the soles of the feet. It can be scary to attempt getting them to implement this change, but it is scarier to let that stay in place forever! It’s better to try and fail than not to try at all. But who says it can’t be retried? When retrying, you use a different method, as using the same method/thing will bring the same or a similar result. Best of luck.
Thank you very much for your answers. But you saying that trying and failing is better is false actually it is a lot worse than not trying at all because of the punishments I mentioned you. So I was just trying really hard to convince myself that it's not a big deal just try to act normal and be barefoot there as they command me while suffering silently because I have no choice but to do it. But again, if the boys were also barefoot it'd have made it a lot better, having them wearing their shoes/socks and not allowing girls to cover their feet is really humiliating and sexist! So let's say I found a girl who is as uncomfortable as me then what will we do? Just refuse to take off out shoes? And is it worth taking the risk? Because they already defeated me in the last photoshoot by making go barefoot there and already have pictures of my bare feet. If I'm already defeated, what's the point?
Well, the consequences/punishments implemented by the other girls may make it seem a lot worse to try than not to try at all, but you can always go and by new shoes and new socks, can’t you? And if they attempt taking it off, you can tel the campus security &/or police, especially a female police, preferably someone who is from somewhere else, that way they can help protect you. Plus, taking some martial arts classes, especially Kung fu will help you to be more able to defend yourself from anyone trying to take your shoes off. Especially in Singapore, it is illegal to try to forcefully remove someone’s article they are wearing, and mostly especially if they are assaulting you to attempt blocking you from disabling them from taking away anything you’re wearing, including your shoes and socks. And the punishment implemented by the other girls may be humiliating, but it is a process for a change nonetheless, not the other way around. They are trying to defend a sexist tradition, tomorrow their children will view you as a hero for standing up for what’s right, for causing the change in policy, and for facing your fears in effort to implement a greater equality. Your efforts and humiliations won’t go in vain.
I really appreciate your answers thank you very much for trying to help me. But the problem is not that I can't buy new shoes later ( and not that they won't give them back forever), the problem is that I'll be barefoot in that moment in public! And going to police when your "friends" bully you is not a good idea espectially if it's for a local tradition that is accepted nationwide. Training some martial arts won't help much neither if I'm outnumbered by them. How the punishment implemented by other girls is a progress for a change other than being humiliating? And with this plan, I don't see how will this change the tradition other than making me go barefoot more, which is the most humiliating thing for me! The only thing their children will see is more barefooted pictures of mine!
The change process is a humiliating process, but in the end, it is worth it. Here is one encouragement of mine. Encourage more people to apply to study abroad in Singapore, especially those against sexism and double standards. I think this will be a lot more effective in bringing about change. Don’t let this pass you by while still in college.
I think I'd be an evil person if I brought girls here like me whose are against sexism. I'll just cause them to be forced to go barefoot in front of men with shoes, got them photographed like this and cause them to suffer and get humiliated like me...
And you can bring boys too who specifically oppose sexism and who also oppose double gender standards, especially extreme double gender standards. They will for sure help stand up against this sexism, especially those from anti sexism activist groups.
Also, didn’t you say that you sometimes wear sandals or flip flops somewhere on this thread?
1. Do you sometimes or at least rarely wear flip flops to in public other than swimming pool, river, beach, or car wash?
2. If yes for Question 1, what exactly makes it embarrassing to go barefoot in those same settings? Is it just the exposure of the soles in the photo that is embarrassing or being barefoot overall? Because being barefoot is actually very similar as wearing flip flops, similar foot amount exposure.
No I never wear sandals or flip flops in public so I don't think I said that. But even if I did, yes it'd still be very different than being forced to go barefoot in those photos because it makes you feel very very vulnerable and humiliated.
Well, Like I said, I think you should bring activist groups to your Singapore, boys and girls, to implement change, but they shouldn’t make it obvious that they are in the beginning so they increase their chances of being accepted as international students.
Yes there is a big difference between doing it by choice and being forced to, but technically those who wear flip flops by choice wouldn’t generally feel forced or weirded out by having to do that, except if it was cold, then their issue wouldn’t be embarrassment but rather fear of getting sick, catching a cold, or getting cold, especially if it is going to be for a long time.
Bringing those groups to the college would take a lot of time even if I manage to do it, I'd probably finished my education here by then. I think it'd be still pretty embarrassing for the girls who usually wear flip flops in public because like you said this one is not by choice and you're forced to show your bare soles to the camera. And at the last photoshoot, the floors of halls were pretty cold so I could feel the discomfort all the other girls having while walking there with boys beside us.
But although it is forced, those who do it by choice don’t feel forced or humiliated by it. Well, if the floor and hallways are cold, a few may change their minds. But well, I am tired of giving advices or possible solutions to then be told that it is not a viable solution. You gotta find a way to solve the issue or it stays like that forever. The choice is yours.
If you try something, there is a chance for a failure, but if you don’t try, you already failed.
Yes but while we were walking there, the boys and the instructors were there too otherwise it'd be a great opportunity to bring it up with the girls. Thank you very much for all your ideas so far, I know I've been a b*tch by always telling you negative sides of the ideas but some of them really have been helpful. So please do not hestitate to write if you find any other ideas. And even if you can't , it's still been really nice to talk to you about this stuff because I can't talk it with someone else.
Alrightee then. Feel free to message me if you have any questions and I will keep replying to this comment section piece of this thread should any idea pop up in the future.
Just in case you wanted to though try wearing sandals and get rid of the shyness bit to bit, here I will post some links. I wish I could send them as direct private messaging, but the character limit is only at 1000, which is actually very limited for the lengths of these links.
Paste 1:
I am only allowed to post 10 links per comment, so I have posted 6 comments in total; here they are:
Wow thanks a lot for the links but I can't seem to open most of them maybe because they have... in them. But I'd feel really uncomfortable wearing most of those as you probably can imagine. Here, almost no one, even girls wear open shoes or sandals despite the warm climate for some reason. But I could maybe think of wearing some closed toe ones because I really don't want my classmates to know how much I hate being seen barefoot. Maybe they don't suspect of this thing of me this way...
Hmm, well, besides all this thing, did you know that Singapore has a huge indoor ski resort, a huge beautiful park with beautiful trees and highly elevated sidewalks? Also, the airport in Singapore is ultra cool! But yeah, the links were just in case you wanted to start little by little.
No but fortunately there were no photoshoots, at least so far. But could be in any moment and I still don't know exactly what to do, too shy and afraid to talk anyone about this. I couldn't even find courage to look for partially open shoes to buy, basically spend the whole summer in shoes&socks and now weather is a bit colder (mostly rainy) to try!
There are some though that are waterproof, especially from Crocs and Birkenstock, although only Crocs has those that sort of cover the feet with some holes in it, some having smaller holes than others. You can just Google search Crocs and it will appear there on the top.
Who says they need to be pretty. You can for sure try getting outside of your comfort zone, or you can ask/request Crocs to make some more appealing barely peep toe showing sandals or those with small holes that look more appealing or minimalist style that can be worn with anything, or you can try making it yourself using any kind of material. And at the same time, you can then make more for other girls/women, and even make male style that are either barely toe showing for those who are foot shy, or even make flip flops that are barely showing all of the toes with extended straps, and do that for slides too for men and women, and other kinds of sandals, and boom, there goes your business. No doubt a lot of people will go into buying your products. For that one, it does take exiting your comfort zone but a long journey must start with a single step. Taking risks, facing fears, and failing are all part of the learning process.
It’s easy for a guy to call it nothing when they aren’t the ones affected. If on a yearly class picture, guys had to go barefoot, while girls didn’t or they were required to cover their whole feet, I bet you will take action immediately.
Who says you don’t? It is all in the mind. You can team up with the other girls to do that to guys who are like this sexist. That would serve them right. If girls can’t get punished in campus for forcing other girls to go barefoot, neither should guys for doing it to the other guys, and who says girls can’t do that to sexist guys? Give it a try. I would gladly help out had I been a student at that university. If there are any canines due to that, that is clear sign of sexism being backed by the government and the court. Maybe then we can advocate for the camera to get caned for that reason, lol.
@fr44c3iqqs I don't really think that boys would be allies. And working out seems to be a very long term plan, there must be a better way... Like outnumbering them somehow.
In the picture you posted, not all girls are showing their soles. So perhaps you could also position your feet in a way that your soles are not showing?
Also is this a school requirement... or a tradition started by the students? I'm asking bc you mention that students would give embarrassing punishments. by the way what exactly do you mean by that... like gimme an example of what type of embarrassing punishment they would give?
Unfortunately all the girls are showing their soles in the photos, so look like there's no way to hide them :( I have no idea how this tradition started... Punishments include having your shoes stolen off your feet through the next years if you're not seen in the photo 🙈
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