Which do you think is a more attractive trait: confidence or humility?

[beebella]

Humility is more attractive to me

Confidence is more attractive to me

Both are good traits to have

It depends on things

More than one poll option

[Jake99999]

Sorry - but you need a mix of both. Just totally one or the other makes you dysfunctional.

Be confident in yourself, means you are not afraid to take a risk and you are not insecure. But too much of that and you are just arrogant and will have lot of blind spots.

Humility means you are realistic about yourself and you are open to getting better, can admit your mistakes, can think from all perspectives about others. But if all you have is humility, no self confidence at all... you can get too down on yourself, be afraid to try something, be afraid of risks. You can be crippled by failures that are a just a normal part of life. You should not allow yourself to be defined by your failures. Taking chances, having an inner confidence that we can learn and try again, is how we learn and grow.

If you go around assuming you know everything and that you are better than everyone else, you are kind of crippled as a human. Be confident - but know you are flawed and be willing to improve yourself, admit mistakes, and constantly learn. Then you have some balance as a human being.

[Kdizzle85]

Great answer. I’m humble, but I wish I were confident.

[Jake99999]

Being humble is cool. It’s a sign of being a good person. Your confidence can grow over time.

[Kdizzle85]

Thank you for that.

[rjroy3]

2 best quotes ever heard on confidence I tend to agree with and they take different angles on it

Confidence: " being yourself and truly knowing that's enough"

Confidence/Humility quote: " confidence and humility are actually the same thing. It's simply understanding that no one is above you and no one is beneath you"

If you're just being yourself and you know that's enough you really don't care what other people think of you. And if that's enough you have nothing to prove. You're not gonna put other people down unnecessarily or be overly reactive to them.

And if you look at people in general as being equals you won't feel insecure if you don't see anyone as above you. And you won't look down on others because you don't believe anyone is below you.

The end effect is the same

[NicoletteXO]

Ultimately the best trait to have is self awareness. Appropriate expressions of both confidence and humility stem from that.

Confidence should have some level of connection to ones actual skills/ capabilities/ position - otherwise it's just arrogance/ braggadocio.

Humility must bear some level of relationship to an understanding of ones actual limitations. If there is too much humility it is either lack of self esteem, or false humility... which can be a form of emotional manipulation or strategy - women have used this since the dawn of time - 'playing dumb', because most men love to have their ego stroked and it often results in being treated better by men.

Self awareness means you have a reasonable bead on your capacities and your limits. Meaning you will be confident in the right circumstances, and humble in the right circumstances.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Actual humility requires an accurate assessment of one's skills, which is, to me, a pre-requisite to actual confidence.

Boastful confidence - even if warranted - is just gross.

No one who's good at something will ever need to announce it.

[raw_is_war99]

Both are technically good but humility. Many people think they have confidence by trying to shout or belittle someone, that’s not confidence, that’s being an immature prick or a bitch. I’m sorry but I have to be blunt. I mean take for example a guy who others see as a “loner”. Shops alone, goes to the movies alone, goes to a restaurant alone. People would look at him as a loser. But it takes confidence to be comfortable with yourself to go to the movie theatre.

I’m not saying I’m not insecure or I lack confidence because no one is perfect but I find that people who have a large social media following tend to be the most judgmental and insecure and lack confidence in life. It’s easy to be a Kim Kardashian where her fame really came from her father’s career as a lawyer (most notable the OJ Simpson trial). People also look at being rich as having confidence, which I don’t. It’s just how others see it.

I could say “man I fucked up, I need to do better, that person deserves that spot more then me”. That’s humility, but someone reading this who hears someone say that could be like, lol, what a loser even though I showed humility and defeat and respected someone who is worthy of something else in life.

[Pandupillu]

Very well said 👍

[ManOnFire]

I think both are extremely important, although I lean more towards humility. I am not an arrogant person, so I highly favor people with humility, who will regard you and everyone else the same and treat them with respect. I love a woman who I see jamming with everyone on the same level of acknowledgement, regardless of their social standing, job, race, etc.

Confidence is great, but sometimes too much confidence just gives you the image that you believe you are higher than others around you.

[GoldenAxer]

I don't think they are mutually exclusive traits on opposite ends of a spectrum. Someone can confidently sing in front of a large audience on a stage without thinking of themselves as the greatest singer. They just have to avoid feeling too fearful and nervous about being booed off the stage.

If I had to choose one or the other though as though they are mutually exclusive, I'm going with confidence for *shallow* attraction (not deep). I find nervous and timid body language to pretty much make everyone less physically attractive even from a very primitive, physical sort of standpoint. Arrogance can actually be very attractive to my eyes... I just don't actually want to date or befriend the person.

[MCheetah]

Ugh! I can't STAND ego in others! I absolutely detest it! I think confidence is something only women like in others. Confidence is a total turn-off, to me! I don't need someone acting like they're hot sh*t, absolute perfection ("as they are"), or that they're obsessed with themselves and who they are. If women are fine with that in men, then so be it.

I like humility and kindness is a woman, instead. Someone down-to-earth and knows they are not perfect and that they have human flaws. Someone who can like some aspects of themselves but not think they are infallible. It's too bad I can't really find that in any girls nowadays. Modesty is a turn-on to me and usually implies a kind soul.

So I find "humility" (modesty, actually) to be a very attractive trait, in my opinion, and confidence/conceit/hubris/ego to be a complete and giant turn-off.

[Soremain]

Need both equally. If someone has no humility and appear all confident, that heavily indicates to insecurity. They're too defensive and take themselves too seriously and that's not true confidence. Confident people don't need to always take maximum credit and highlight themselves, only desperate people need to do that.

But if someone is always downplaying themselves and putting everyone in front of them, that can also be indicator of low self worth. So you need a good balance of both.

[Browneye57]

A lack of confidence shows severe weakness. Women absolutely loathe weak men. Well, unless they're just looking for a pet.
Humility comes with knowledge and maturity. But he has to be a MAN first. Unfortunately we've raised a whole crop of girlie-men, and they can't figure out why women don't swoon for them. And the women are finding their own gender as equal to them. The ultimate societal fail.

[Pandupillu]

Harsh words but true words

[Browneye57]

@Pandupillu - Reality bites. Life is hard. And then you die. :)
I'm surely not here to placate, validate. Educate, perhaps, but only if one is receptive. Half of what I post is for shock value... people need a slap up the side of the head. And there you have it.

[Pandupillu]

Ha ha true that

[Cherry234]

I'd say humility is more attractive to me. It's good to have confidence but everyone has insecurities. I like some confidence but I don't expect people to be 100% confident in themselves. Plus, I don't like arrogant people

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

I find both incredibly attractive but if I had to pick one? Humility.
In my opinion, to achieve humility you have to have a level confidence that is balanced and centered.
My humility is fueled by my confidence so that’s who I am.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

Both, it just depends on how much of each and in what scenario they become evident. Confidence can turn to arrogance and humility can turn to degredation if your aren't careful. It's about finding that balance

[igaveyouanickname]

It's a false choice. Both are good. Plus, a sense of humor.

I met someone today who lacked confidence *and* humility.

They turned me off faster than a shower after someone flushed.

[TadCurious]

Bella I voted that both are good traits to have. And I think they can be related in the sense that a confident person isn't afraid to demonstrate humility. A person who isn't confident might confuse humility with weakness.
🙋‍♂️😊

[Sandzberry]

One can have both, in my career it's important to be confident in yourself or no one will take your seriously. You can still be a confident, humble person.

[Espresso-Grande]

To me personally, it's humility. I don't care if a person is confident or not, but I always look for humility in someone

But it's confidence that helps a person succeed in life, not humility.

[AndrewMG]

Humility every day of the week... mainly because the majority of confidence is rarely deserved... give me a humble person as a mate rather than a confident one lol

[Joker_]

Humility is not attractive lol. Anyone that chose humility over confidence is bullshitting themselves

[beebella]

I like humility.

[Joker_]

That's okay

[beebella]

Thank you.

[Joker_]

You're welcome

[NathanDavis]

confidence for sure, because a better placed confidence will also allow you to be humble, and in a better way... to me it is about balance, as usual

[Andres77]

A good blend of both. You can have high self confidence and still be humble.
That's my target.
Lots of both.

[xHoneyxBeex]

Both. Confident people can still be humble. There is a difference between confidence and arrogance.

[Jake99999]

Yes very true

[SpiderManFan2002]

I think one can be humble and confident- the two aren’t mutually exclusive.

[Kaneki05]

Humility is great but then i find Dominate women attractive and to be that, Confidence is needed.

[fonduegirl]

Confidence. Cuz being humble isn't one of my skills either so... I dont mind humble people, I just won't date one xD.

[Jonny59]

I think I am both depends on the situation its pretty hard to keep with this mentality but when I do people literally gravitate around me its amazing what this can do if ur life

[pinedarose]

Highly

[Mofunfour20]

For men its best to be confident because nice guys finish last. For women humility, this way the man will protect and provide for her. Confident and independent women are usually a headache

[NYCQuestions1976]

It's important to have both at the same time. Confidence without humility is arrogance.

[Emmam298]

I think they are both nice. But being too confident can be arrogant.

[pink_and_inlove]

I just don’t like it when some guys are full of themselves

[Wise4myage]

I think confidence is much more attractive and also important.

[VanillaSalt]

100% confidence. Nobody gives a damn about humility until your overly arrogant.

[Shiningtempest]

@beebella In my opinion, humility is a more attractive trait.

[jeffryrobertbabb]

Confidence is valued, humility is not. I know, I'm a humble person.

[Coulis]

Are you saying that a person cannot be confident and humble at the same time?

[Anonymous]

It's not humility if you're a loser. So I'd say that comes later as an attractive trait only once you've demonstrated some superior abilities to be humble about.

[NicoletteXO]

Totally!

[Pandupillu]

What is your definition of a loser?

[Opinion Owner]

@Pandupillu I'd say something like inferior to most people across a multitude of important dimensions without enough meaningful positive attributes to compensate. But I think the standard colloquial definition of loser would work fine for the purposes of my statement above.

[Pandupillu]

Inferior in what way? What are those important dimension which define a person's loserness?

[Opinion Owner]

@Pandupillu You can use whatever definition you'd like. Unless you're definition distorts the hell out of the English language, I'm sure it applies.

[Pandupillu]

You are not answering the question, and just beating around the bush. I asked you what is your definition if a loser? Inferior to most people in what way? Be specific

[Opinion Owner]

@Pandupillu Why? Loser is a pretty well understood term. I'm sure you know what it means.

[NicoletteXO]

One definition of a loser would be someone who wastes everyone's time persists in useless semantic nitpicking when the meaning of a statement is patently clear 😂

[NicoletteXO]

*persisting

[Pandupillu]

@NicoletteXO
Everyone's definition of loser is quite different. By the current societal standards, someone who does not have a good income, good relationships or a house is considered loser. For someone else a loser is someone who does not have a good married life is a loser. The place where I stay , someone who does not have a noble job, that is either doctor, teacher or engineer or a govt job is a loser. For another someone who does not earn on his own is a loser depite being a good person at heart. So what is your definition of a loser? Genuinely curious

[Pandupillu]

Loser” is just a way of saying that someone did not achieve an expected standard. The term is utterly meaningless to anyone who does not accept that standard. (For example, was Mother Teresa a loser because she did not amass a personal fortune like Bill Gates?)

For me life is a journey that is judged based on how well you rose up to the challenges that you faced while you were alive. No one can be declared a winner or loser while they are alive because their life is still ongoing. And no one can really be declared a winner or a loser after they are dead, because there is no way to know how well that person responded to all of the challenges in their life.

In other words, “loser” is essentially just a meaningless insult with no weight behind it.

Check this answer by someone that I found on Quora.

[Opinion Owner]

@Pandupillu Well, that didn't really clarify what "loser" means, but it DID provide a pretty great example of "moral relativism."

BUT, for the purposes my initial response to this question on the relationship of loser to humility and confidence, it is still generally usable. One cannot possess humility on any dimension in which one is a loser. Humility is a virtue that only exists in winners.

[Pandupillu]

There is no such thing as a winner and loser in a life. Yes it's important to fend for one self and be self sufficient. But that doesn't mean that a person is a looser or a winner. The term "looser" is subjective. Life is all about experiencing it the way it comes. Winner and loser is something we people and society have invented just to make people conform to our expectations and standards. Each person's standards are different. For eg, I am living my life the way it comes, have a stable job and things are good. But there always will be someone better than me, and just cause I don't have the kind of life that they have, does it make me a "loser"? ABSOLUTELY NOT. will they see me as a "loser"? Maybe or maybe not. We will always be a "loser" for someone else and a "winner" for someone else. Me personally, I refuse to put my life into departments of "winners and loosers". There is no such thing. Tomorrow someone who has different standards than me will see me as having something they don't have, does that mean I am a "winner"? Hell no. Life is not the race that we have made to be.

[Pandupillu]

The very fact that the answer did not clarify what a "looser" means is cause in reality no such things exist. We as a society have coined those terms.

[Pandupillu]

That particular example could be of moral relativism. But here I'll give you another example.
Say a person was pursuing his studies and all of sudden lost interest and dropped out of college. While some of his friends complete their education and get jobs. This person suddenly realises that the fees he payed would go waste if he doesn't complete his education, and so he joins back and completes. Now looking from a "winner n looser perspective" you could quite say the person is "lagging behind" in life. But what we miss is that there is no such thing as lagging behind in life. He is lagging behind "according to societal standards". But he is not lagging behind at all. He could very well do something else and "go ahead". Does that make him a "winner"? NO! it's just that he did things differently. life can only be lived there is no other option. The very fact that one lives life either joyously or not matters. A person can be the most joyful person in the world and yet be "inferior across a mutitude of dimensions". Will that make him a loser? HELL NO. Could he be considered a loser in someone else's perspective? Probably yes. A person generally seen as a WINNER in life could be miserable from the inside and could consider himself a loser. You see , this whole concept of winning and loosing is invented by us people. There is no such thing as winning and loosing in life. We are here to experience life the way it comes. We should live it beautifully. If a person does not live it beautifully, still we cannot give him tags. Life is Just life, it's a process. There is no goal in life. We have created goals for our mental satisfaction. But they don't exist.

[Rachelspiks]

@Pandupillu "Loser is just a way of saying that someone did not achieve an expected standard. The term is utterly meaningless to anyone who does not accept that standard."
Exactly! And many of us just do not see others as being "winners" or "losers", because the terms themselves are so poorly defined as to be utterly meaningless to begin with. I'm not rich, "successful", beautiful, intelligent, or have a copious number of friends, and I would no doubt be seen by many as being a "loser", but I'm not, because A) I don't accept society's standards, as you yourself mentioned, and B) while most other people are feeling insecure and miserable because of the coronavirus restrictions, I've never been happier. I actually enjoy being alone, because I never get lonely, bored or frustrated, so who are the "losers" now? :)

[Pandupillu]

@Rachelspiks true that

[Anonymous]

Confidence by default. The thing about humility is that you can't flaunt it - that's not being humble.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the person, but in general women are much more attracted to confidence in men, whereas men are much more attracted to humility in women.

[Lyubyets]

I feel confidence and humility come in a package together

[Ninani]

Neither one is good without the other.

[ChrisMaster69]

Confidence, equally good but I prefer confidence.

[Tiptoetamm]

Both are great, but confident men are so sexy

[dustybiker]

Good question… this is tough.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Both are good traits to have

[ultimega]

Both are but there has to be a balance.

[Jamie05rhs]

Humility is more attractive to me.

[Likes2drive]

Both are good traits to have

[ChefPapiChulo]

the answer is big boobs

[TallAnon]

One without the other is useless.

[Deku2009]

Both are really attractive traits to me

[Gwenhwyfar]

Both are good

[JesseJayNeak]

Humility is way better

[Slim57]

Humility idc anything about confidence

[karaspara]

Both are good traits

[KittygosMeoWW]

A mixture of it

[ThatNoUVAtYourEyes]

And confiden humity?
Minus the disappearance.

[NicoletteXO]

Water hat speak.
Regarding the apparatus.

[Iron_Man]

Confidence

[Sabretooth]

both balance the other.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Humility for sure what do you think

[Asianguy123]

bad boys love bad girls

[Asianguy123]

Penis

[Sketti2021]

B... 🐝

[Fuentes]

Both

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Both.

[Diamold]

Confidence for sure