Could you hold your own in a hand to hand combat?

[bigpauly]

[NamerOfStars]

The closest thing to a real "fight" I've ever been in consisted of an angry drunk guy (who bumped into ME) insisting that I spilled his drink. I offered to replace it, but that wasn't enough; he wanted me to suffer. The other patrons, somehow catching the vibe, formed a ring around us, without saying a word (it was, in retrospect, creepy as hell). I squared off with the guy, who taunted me, and I replied with, quote "Well, I'm gonna... what the hell is THAT?" (pointing behind him). He turned to look, and so did the crowd, and I turned and RAN, hoping like hell that it would work. Inexplicably, it did- the fact that at my size it takes a SERIOUS effort to stop me when I'm running probably helped- and I got away. It's a combat technique I'm pretty sure I picked up from a cartoon, but so far, it has a 100% success rate.

If that failed, I don't know what I'd do. I've based my battle strategy on "not getting into fights", which has served me VERY well, in avoiding both pain and prison.

[bigpauly]

Lmao never thought to use the loony toons strategy

[NamerOfStars]

It was just a spur-of-the-moment, "what else can I do?" decision, but it worked. I *do* recall thinking that if they chased me, I'd just run off the edge of a cliff, since I'd be fine so long as I didn't look down, but they didn't give chase. Which is fortunate; Illinois doesn't have many cliffs.

[bigpauly]

Lmfao

[MCheetah]

Yes, unless it was against an actual professional MMA fighter or someone, I'm 90% sure I could kick their ass into next Tuesday.

However, in addition to being a skilled fighter in kickboxing and a former bodyguard and bouncer, I also fight DIRTY AS SH*T! I will sucker punch, incapacitate the eyes, kick the balls, throat chop, use metal weapons, conceal a pistol if need be, and anything else I need to do to guarantee I don't lose.

I don't give a F*CK about "honor" or "fighting fair!" I WILL bring a gun to a fist fight, if need be. Call me "cowardly" or whatever all you want, as I win every single confrontation and never get so much as a scratch on me. I call that "being smarter than the other guy."

I'm a Fighting type, but I'm also Dark as f*ck! All I care about is winning and/or hurting the other guy if he pissed me off enough to fight.

[bigpauly]

I like the pic lol.

Well fighting dirty is understandable, serious damage can come from them

[MCheetah]

Maybe. I'm a survivor, not an "honorable black belt in martial arts." That level of cockiness is for better fighters than me.

And it's a Scrafty, a Fighting/Dark type Pokemon, to add some levity to what sounded like a serious post.

[bigpauly]

Makes sense

[MCheetah]

If it's good enough for Indiana Jones, it's good enough for me. (There's MY movie reference.)

[bigpauly]

😂I always remember doing this in grand theft auto San Andreas when one of the bosses wanted to have a sword fight

[Blackcosmo]

I hate going at people physically but I'm very good at flinging my sister around when she's trying to hit me.

Ugh that little brat never gives up! She keeps getting up over and over and over again and I just keep sending her to the clouds. I don't know how the hell she comes back down.

[bigpauly]

It’s like a roller coaster for her

[Blackcosmo]

She better not be having fun or I'm gonna make it the most stomach wrenching thing she's ever experienced.

[bigpauly]

😨 have mercy on the smaller humans of the world!

[Blackcosmo]

Hmm I'll think about it.

[bigpauly]

If you value your shins there isn’t much to think through!

[Blackcosmo]

Ouch! Fine I'll seriously consider it! Better?

[bigpauly]

I don't know. There may be a tiny person revolution if there isn’t a definitive answer that suits us soon..

[Blackcosmo]

I surrender... *sigh*
Nothing is worse than getting kicked in the shins.

[bigpauly]

😈😈😈

[Blackcosmo]

*sigh* I can't believe I lost to you *sigh*
So disgraceful

[bigpauly]

😂 hey what’s that supposed to entail?

[Blackcosmo]

Oh nothing! nothing! Absolutely nothing!

[bigpauly]

That’s what I thought!
*standing on stool with chest out to appear bigger

[Blackcosmo]

*laughs* oops...

[bigpauly]

What’s so funny?🧐
*falls off stool

[Blackcosmo]

*laughs*
Oh nothing! I don't know what came over me. i just do that sometimes.

[bigpauly]

You better not be laughing at me 😠

[Blackcosmo]

Of course not. How could I? You're awesome!

[bigpauly]

🥺 thank you

[Blackcosmo]

No problem!
*grimaces*

[bigpauly]

Wait, why are you making that face?

[Blackcosmo]

Oh I just felt a spasm in my jaw!

[bigpauly]

Look, I’m short not stupid! It was obviously a spasm in your cheek..

[Blackcosmo]

Of course it couldn't be anything against you. Why would you think that?

[bigpauly]

🧐🧐.

[Blackcosmo]

I promise! You're awesome!

[bigpauly]

I suggest you get your shin pads ready

[Blackcosmo]

NO! Please! Have mercy I didn't do anything

[bigpauly]

*practices kicks

[Blackcosmo]

*dies from shock*

[bigpauly]

😂😈. .

[Blackcosmo]

I guess I'm in the spirit world...
Hey why are you laughing?

[bigpauly]

😱🏃‍♂️

[Blackcosmo]

*sigh*

[bigpauly]

Haha

[Blackcosmo]

I can't believe I've been reduced to this...

[bigpauly]

Welcome to my life

[Blackcosmo]

*sighs*

[bigpauly]

*pats your shoulder

[Blackcosmo]

Why don't we start over?
I'm Rei the Wisteria Maiden and it's nice to meet you!

[bigpauly]

Lmao

[Blackcosmo]

Hey! We're supposed to start over.

[bigpauly]

Ok ok I’m Paul the sponge 👋

[Blackcosmo]

Alright nice to meet you Paula!

[bigpauly]

Paul not Paula!

[Blackcosmo]

Oh my bad Pauly!

[bigpauly]

Lol ugh I guess Pauly works

[Blackcosmo]

Yay :)

[Oliviaarkansas]

oh yeah. people RUN when they see me. they know at my huge 4'6" that i can crush them! lol.

[bigpauly]

I know I’d be scared

[Oliviaarkansas]

you want a piece of this?

[bigpauly]

Look I don’t want any trouble, short stuff.

[Oliviaarkansas]

grrrrrrr..

[bigpauly]

🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

[WhiteSteve]

Certainly depends on the opponent, lmao, but I’m game if the situation warrants it. Certainly not my first rodeo by any stretch of the imagination. But no matter how bad you think you are, there’s always someone badder. Don’t mess with guys with a cauliflower ear, I know that much😂

[bigpauly]

Good rule of thumb. (I feel there was a cauliflower and/or ear pun to be made there but nothing jumped out at me 🤔)

[NathanDavis]

I am trained for more than that...

initially I read the question wrong, could I hold on a fight against myself, like... my bizarre villain alter-ego, I think so... lol

I can be that stubborn

[bigpauly]

I like your interpreted version better

[NathanDavis]

lmao

[Blackcupcake]

tenor.com/.../kitty-pointless-talk-kitty-talk-gif-25302525

thaaat stubborn…

[Chazmatazz269]

Depends entirely on the opponent. This is an absolute truth for every person who lives, every person who has ever lived and every person who will ever live. Anyone who might confidently answer “yes” without knowing their opponent is a complete moron.

[Ill_made_Knight]

I'm secretly Vulcan. Humans are quite susceptible to our neck pinch. Most effective.

[bigpauly]

Hey no powers!

[Ill_made_Knight]

so this also rules out scheduling the contest during the pon farr?

[bigpauly]

Yes, unfortunately.

[Ill_made_Knight]

unfortunate

[bigpauly]

I’m sorry 😞

[jengeorge26]

No, I am not good at hand to hand combat, maybe just a hand job?

[bigpauly]

That would be an interesting tactic for sure.

[jengeorge26]

Talking my way out of trouble or running away is how I defend myself lol

[bigpauly]

Lol that’s probably the best way to go about it honestly

[Blackcupcake]

@bigpauly lmfao…

[Guy13]

Only if a Woman !!! I know the trigger points ;-)

[bigpauly]

They might surprise you

[Guy13]

Not going to happen. I have never met a woman, at least on soccer pitch, that can take the beating men give each other. Maybe one day. Send one my way for sport. I miss the 24 year old wrestling anyway,

[FilmGuy93]

I have in the past. I think I could handle myself in a fight if I slimmed down a bit more.

[bigpauly]

Just use the extra weight to pin the opponent down lol

[sirderpsalot123]

I have in the past. I've also taken a few beatings.

Yes, and no.

[bigpauly]

Sorry for giving you those beatings 😎

[sirderpsalot123]

All good man.. I probably deserved it.

[bigpauly]

I really just wanted to show off how macho I am

[sirderpsalot123]

I'm glad I could help you do that 😂

[bigpauly]

🤣🤣🤣

[Dinosaursandanime65]

You do mean actually fight without relying of P*ssy Moves right?

[bigpauly]

Whatever it take

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Oh well that’s patheticblaw. I’m too Giga Chad for that respect

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Respectfully

[douride2]

Maybe 20 years ago I could have. Then again it would depend on who & how old my opponent is.

[exitseven]

I am not like I was 25 years ago but I suspect that I could still outlast most opponents.

[JosyJosy]

Depends on who it is, but I'm confident

[bigpauly]

I challenge you *gets in karate kid stance

[MCheetah]

@JosyJosy
It's not fair when you can just step on people!

[JosyJosy]

I ashamed to say that I still have to watch that movie...

[JosyJosy]

@MCheetah I can only step on people who are doormats.

[bigpauly]

@JosyJosy it’s nothing to be ashamed of lol. Honestly if you didn’t see it as a kid I can’t imagine it would be that entertaining now. I would only watch it for nostalgia

[JosyJosy]

Well, I'm going to. Before I forget about it again.

[bigpauly]

Lol ok. I’d be interested to know your opinion. A very 80s movie

[Lotusinmud]

I have 3 black belts I’m in great shape I think I can hold my own 🥋

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I will do well but if the guy knows how to fight good for real then I'll get my butt kick.

[Msputiton]

Pickles

[bigpauly]

Are you trying to distract me?

[Msputiton]

Naw.
Not at all

[bigpauly]

You better not poke my eyes again.

[Msputiton]

Poke your eyes? Me

[bigpauly]

Yea you!

[Msputiton]

*pokes eyes*
I would never

[bigpauly]

Dag nabbit! 😫😫

[Agape93]

Yeap

[bigpauly]

Good to know. I’m thinking of starting my own mortal kombat tournament and I need fighters

[Agape93]

What's the prize?

[bigpauly]

Free pizza for life and a cool trophy I’ll design.

[Agape93]

Exchange the pizza for Whiskey and I'm game

[bigpauly]

Deal

[dustybiker]

Yes. 🥋

[bigpauly]

My badass biker friend

[dustybiker]

Always. 🫶🏻

[MysticDevice]

Nope. That's why I conceal carry.

[Thotkiana]

Hell nah!!!

[bigpauly]

Well not with that attitude!