Do you love yourself unconditionally?

[TenderFantasy]

Please explain your answer! 🙂

Yes

No

Updates

+1 y

Thanks to everyone who participated. Though I wish I didn't get as much harsh jealousy or hate from women lol. I got NO like (as usual) from women with my questions lol.

And it's a little sad to know the results, but I hope people learn to or change their ways!

[NathanDavis]

nope, not unconditionally... lol

if I do wrong or bad, even not intended, I will be harsh with myself... because wrong is wrong

so I imagine that if I ever, intentionally started to be shitty towards others or myself, that would come or bring a lot of hatred or something crazy... nothing like love

fortunately though, I've never really had those ill intentions before, just mistakes here and there, which so far... people have been understanding, bar one exception, though

[DaveJord]

Question was not if your perfect... it was if you love yourself.

[NathanDavis]

@DaveJord my answer had nothing to do with perfection

nor I ever said whether or not I loved myself because the question was not about love for oneself so perhaps you just do not understand the concept of conditional or unconditional

the question was about conditions, and that is how I answered it

your own take on this question has nothing to do with what I said either

[DaveJord]

Yeah, I guess you got a point... but if you interpret it like that... then nothing is unconditional. Everything has conditions but love for self is what stops you from doing those things or prevents you from the making the wrong choice more than once.

[DaveJord]

Making mistakes and being harsh with yourself are conditions you put on things... but it's all rooted in love.

[NathanDavis]

@DaveJord yes, everything is conditional... when it is real

love is not the exception

and again... this question is not about a lack self-esteem, which is something you keep pointing out, lol

[DaveJord]

@nNathanDavis For me I think it does boil down to self-esteem... or at least on some level your own level of individual cynicism vs. optimism. Some things can be unconditional... there just some things I would not do or could not do out of love. Yes, in the most extreme situation or circumstance... there are conditions you cannot control... but I still try to take a more optimistic approach, because if you want to get philosophical every condition is conditional, so I personally feel that love and fear are prime motivators in life. Love brings hope and optimism, and fear breads disappear and disappointment.

One always makes choices and has choices to make... so yes everything is conditional but love for self is a less cynical motivator. Love and self-esteem are tight together... and most people fail or refuse to see that. If you do not truly love yourself, then you may not realize that.

I do agree though love is not unconditional... you can do things that will change how feel about yourself. But for me love for myself is what stops me from doing those things, and that is and of itself is a condition... so you are correct. But lack of love for self, makes it easier to set a lower bar for yourself. When achieve less because you expect less... your self-esteem is affected.

[NathanDavis]

@DaveJord I do not lack love for myself... nor self-esteem

that is quite clear, and it was never the point... lol

but the.. some things are unconditional under certain conditions, is an amusing argument, lol

[DoctorSex]

Yet your body loves you unconditionally. When you order a pizzA lacking in adequate nutrients to sustain your body, it still tries it's best to keep your vital organs alive.
Your heart doesn't take a day off when you let yourself down.

I think you need a healthier relationship with yourself bro because your body loves you unconditionally.

[NathanDavis]

@DoctorSex tell that to auto-immune diseases... "doctor"

[SnowedIn]

Yes and no. Yes in that I don't put conditions on love either for myself or for others. On the other hand there are things about me I really dislike so I don't love those things. But I'm not into ultimatum-ing myself: like, "if you fail, I won't love you" or anything like that. But I hold myself to high standards and often fail to meet them. So I just try. :)

[SnowedIn]

Thank you for MHO!

[DaveJord]

ABSOLUTELY, I love myself unconditionally!!!

Hell yeah, I do... I mean I am not perfect, but stive every day to be the best I can be. I haven't met anyone else in this world that can do any better than what I am doing as far as effort... and fuck yeah effort counts.

I am not going to lie, I am moderately attractive, I am moderately successful... which is to say I am not ugly, fat or broke by far. I am cocky, confident, easily annoyed, vocal, quick to judgment, opinionated, passionate, affectionate, at time lazy... But truth is that if you do not love yourself, despite all your flaws and faults... then who else will?

You got to love yourself first, and then hold those around you to the same standards you hold yourself to. Because honestly nobody will love you or treat you any better than you love and treat yourself. So, when you think less of yourself, then you expect less from others... and you always end up with less and then wonder why you can't find better and do better.

It blows my mind to see only 30% of people actually love themselves... I mean seriously? Mind blown!!!

[DaveJord]

I guess people are getting caught upon on the unconditional part... but honestly that is a rather arbitrary thing. Sure, there are things I could do that would make it hard for me to feel good about myself... but my love of self, guides my values and ethics... so I would not do those things out of love.

Love yourself does not mean or make you a perfect person, you will make mistakes... but loving yourself means you will be more forgiving of yourself and strive to be better next time.

In the end loving yourself is not about being a good or bad person, moral or ethical, it's about finding happiness and knowing you're being the best version of yourself possible. Sure, Hillter probably loved himself unconditionally, but that did not make him a good person or perfect person... but it probably empowered him.

[JamesDiaz11]

No.

The only unconditional love is a love from a mother- even Ted Bundy's mom was speaking up for him after it was proven he murdered dozens of women.

Any other love is conditional. There are things your lover could do that would change the way you feel about them, be it cheating, or learning something about it that shatters the image you once had. They could also let you down in a very significant way. You can still be committed to someone despite losing love for them, but again only a mothers love is unconditional.

[Nomina]

I don't believe in that concept. Love others unconditionally - even and especially those you don't like, despise even - definitely. Tall order for everyone, let's face it, but I do think it is the ideal.

With myself however, I do think I need to be harsher and more strict and not let myself off the hook as I would more easily do with others.

I expect more of myself than others. I'm less lenient with myself and I think it's a good thing so as not to delude myself into thinking I'm all that special or all that bright or all that unique.

I'm okay with not forgiving myself for shit I've done, while I might - MIGHT - easily do that for another. It's a reminder, as far as I'm concerned, not to be shitty like that again.

All in all, a good amount of self-deprication and self-hatred, in my opinion, is good to keep things balance in terms of the ego.

[TenderFantasy]

Yeah, I agree with your realistic views too. It's hard to love anything unconditionally. I read that that kind of stuff is only reserved between a parent and a child (usually, unless the parent or parents was/were bad ones!)!. It's not always easy to have positive feelings towards yourself or others as life's not always rainbows and roses, sugar and spice, etc! And love is an emotion and just like all emotions, it's probably limited! Deep I know lol.

[Nomina]

Love is an emotion but I also think it's mostly about actions. Emotions quickly fade sometimes so it seems to me that a truer testament of love is being able to DO loving things even if the FEELING of love has dissipated.

I hate talking about this kind of stuff, it makes me sound preachy and annoying as fuck and holier than thou, lmao.

So to balance that out I'm gonna swear a lot: fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck. Better.

[DaveJord]

@Nomina So, you expect more of yourself... out of love for self... or dislike of yourself?

So if you did not love yourself would you try as hard or expect as much?

[Nomina]

@DaveJord out of dislike. And because of dislike, I try harder. That's the motivation actually.

[Nomina]

@DaveJord By dislike, it isn't as though I'm down on myself 24/7. It's being aware of who I actually am, especially in terms of my flaws and darker side and bad patterns of behavior.
I've got good traits and bad traits; try to capitalize on the good and dislike and correct the bad appropriately. For the latter it would require, in my opinion, an acknowledgement of wrongdoing and well, just shittiness lol.

Example: I have holier than thou tendencies and I hate it! Hate it in other people and hate it in myself, no exceptions. I think it's a flaw, it's ugly. So, I deliberately balance it out by either being crass, way too blunt or by willingly showing a bad or darker side of me. Kind of as a reminder that whatever I'm trying to project by being holier than thou isn't actually squeaky clean, so I should cut that out, because... really?

[DaveJord]

@nomina So I guess it's a half full vs. half empty glass perspective that is the difference between us then. Because I agree with you as far as darker side, bad patterns, good and bad traits and motivation in general to be better and try harder. But for me it's my love of self that motivates me to be to be better, not my dislike.

[Nomina]

@DaveJord yeah, seems that way. Two different roads that lead to the same place.

[Anonymous]

I'm Asexual and was in a past lesbian relationship, sex was important to my ex and it broke us up in the end.

I'm married now to a lovely guy. Sex is very important to him but guys are so easy to please sexually, I just let him do his thing which is usually 3-10 minutes of him grunting on top of me or its me giving him a blowjob or encouraging him to jerk off over my boobs, ass or just in the shower. I love his cuddles after, it could be him waking me up in the middle of the night for 30 seconds of sex followed by six hours of cuddles.

[AMS700CX4u2]

You have too, Loving yourself unconditionally means recognizing your faults and strengths. Accepting what you find good and trying to change what you are not happy with. That is total love of self. Being defensive of your faults is not self love. How do you spell Narcissism?

[NamerOfStars]

I don't know- I've never lived the kind of life where I had to. I've always striven to be worthy of my regard, and consequently had the regard of someone I could truly admire.

The reasoning is circular, but it's also self-sustaining, so I let it stand. And the results are hard to argue with...

[Anonymous]

I think I do. Still not sure if I get what that really means.

But I believe in myself and I try my best to be the best version of myself I can and at the end of the day I can't be mad at anyone who's trying their best.

But maybe there's more too it than that

[clampfan101]

I know I should, being that I’m a good person, so part of me does. But for some reason part of me absolutely hates myself and only sees my flaws. The second half is what’s typically in control of how I feel overall. Numerous councilors failed to do anything from what I can tell, typically more so just being a reminder of my issues rather than a help.

[Aerissa_Jade]

I am my own worst critic, which means I do not love myself unconditionally, or else I wouldn't be so harsh on myself.

[Nikki1989]

No, I wish that was the case, but no. I am my biggest critic.

[BeMuse]

Nope, I have a set of principles I hold myself to. If I were to break my code, I'd feel guilt. There are conditions...

[Looksnicholas]

I totally do. I especially love my appearance and my appreciation of my blessings than my shortfalls :)

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

I am just not afraid to loose my life.

Can you say anything about me now?

[TenderFantasy]

Wow, those are pretty strong words. I hope you will be okay. I hope you'll get the motivation to try and feel better, if you're depressed... or maybe you're just being realistic? Anyway, good luck and hope you'll have a Happy Holidays and better days ahead! Take care.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

I really do not care for myself. But when I am working in a group or anything, then my actions have repercussions on others. I do not want that. Hence, I behave in a controlled manner lol.

Everything that can be done in groups is just like that. Be it a family, then your marriage, then your professional life. Anything. That is why I like to be a bit reckless when it comes just to myself.

But thanks for your words! Some changes may be expected in my attitude. When other people say things, I take some of them with me. Remember them. You are awesome.

[BarryLiverstone]

Answered yes cuz I love myself 90%. No one is perfect and we will always be flawed but I accept my flaws and most days I love myself. If we can’t love ourselves how could we ever allow others to love us or how could we love someone else.

[DaveJord]

100% loving yourself does not mean you have to be perfect or love ever single things about you... some things you can change some things you can't... but loving yourself despite the imperfection is 100% okay.

[BarryLiverstone]

10% of the time I don’t love myself.. usually when I hurt someone or make a selfish decision

[Alex8736]

I just go with the flow a day at a time regardless of any obstacle I just take the hand I was dealt 😃

[MCheetah]

Nope! I've literally never known love before.

[PinkRose24]

God made me! I have never and I will never hate myself.

[FunkyMonkee]

Oh, YES! I can't get ENOUGH OF ME!! I've been going steady with myself for DECADES!!

[exitseven]

I doubt I would still love myself if I was an asshole

[JosyJosy]

I have to, I'm stuck with me so best make the most of this time I've got here.

[Anonymous]

I just don’t. I caused a lot of my own problems in my life on top of stuff others done to me as well as just other life circumstances

[TacosRAwesome]

No. I have standards and I don't reach them.

[linka_pat307]

I do but I don't think as much as I want to..

[Anonymous]

Dunno about unconditionally but I try very hard to be the best friend I can be to me. Who else is there?

[boobliker]

not at all I still do stupid things like drive too fast

[SpokenTruth]

I'm not into loving myself I'm into loving others and loving God above all.

[cloud9vortex1234]

No, I don't, I expect myself to make achievements.

[Guardian45]

I go through these cycles, where I'm pleased with myself, but mostly not.

[cootjuhh]

lol not uncondituonally no. im my biggist critisism myself

[just_a_potato]

Nah fuck myself I suck lmao

[BobbieBoy666]

I love myself in anyway. 💞

[AngelOfLight258]

I love myself :)

[PainusNdeeAnus]

Discipline is the greatest self love

[Guanfei]

I don't even love myself to begin with.

[AngryCarl]

No, I judge myself very harshly. You too.

[ballweevil]

I hate myself unconditionally

[Agape93]

Nope

[Anonymous]

Others yes, me not really

[AdithyaR]

Trying to