Have you ever dropped a deuce and when you stood up there was nothing in the toilet?

[Daniela1982]

I know this sounds weird, but toilets work a certain way. A turd just doesn't flush itself. Has it ever happened to you and make you wonder, "Did I shit or did I just fart?"

On the bathroom stall wall:

Here I sit all broken hearted, came to shit but only farted. ~ Bobby

Bob, please don't be so down at heart, some day you'll shit when you thought you'd fart!

Updates

+1 y

What the fuck?

Updates

+1 y

they have year old questions and now this?

[nolabels]

That phenomenon is possible.

Yeah, it does leave one thinking, or at least me, "WTF, I wanted to get a good look at that one".

Joke time,

Q.) Do you know why your poop tapers to a point?

Da, da, da, da, da, da, dum.

Dum, de, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.

Da, da, da, da, da, da, dum.

Dum, de, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum.

Boing, boing.

A.) Your asshole would slam shut after passing a squared-off turd.😊👍💩

[Daniela1982]

I've heard that one but forgot it.

[nolabels]

It should be forgettable, but for some reason it haunts me, dooming me to it's retelling now and again.
Thanks, guy who first told it to me.

[Massageman]

So - you like watching Jeopardy too!

[nolabels]

@Massageman
Jeopardy is cool in its way.
You may have noticed that my comment was not formulated in typical Jeopardy fashion.
I considered posting it as a Jeopardy clue.
The joke would not have worked as a clue, then a question, in my opinion.
The Jeopardy theme song was merely a time-killer to allow a moment of contemplation for the reader.
As my original comment elicited at least a couple of responses, I can claim some partial success in being noticed.

As can you and Daniela1982.

Cheers!!!

[Massageman]

For $500, Alex - - - - - -

[FunkyMonkee]

"Bob, please don't be so down at heart, some day you'll shit when you thought you'd fart!"
True!! Joe does it all the time!! In front of the Pope, in front of the Queen (it's probably what killed her!), in front of other heads of state, on camera.
Yeah, I've drop a few kids off at the pool only to find most, if not all of it, was hiding in the tunnel! If yours flushed themselves, it must've been a power blaster!!
One time, I dropped a load in the giant toad that was completely transparent!! I could see it in the toilet but I could see right through it because there was no colour at all!!

[Massageman]

Just about EVERYthing Joe leaves is SOME kind of, er, manure. OOPS- Wait- I gotta be equal : it could be womanure for the VP.

[FunkyMonkee]

@Massageman Either way, they're BOTH full of shit!!

[FunkyMonkee]

I answer to the question: Yes, I've taken a shit and found a completely clear turd in the shitter! I've never seen that before or since.
The kind of shits I like best are the ones where you drop your load on the giant toad and when you go to wipe, there's nothing on the paper!

[FunkyMonkee]

*IN answer!!!

[Sour-rose]

Nooooo? If I drop a dump, it's going to come to pass. If not... well i'll know. And thanks to the pain of birthing a mud baby, i know which is which.

[Massageman]

It depends on the toilet and its ease/difficulty in initiating the "siphon effect" and the perfection of the shot. I've never had it happen. Our toilet is NOT an "early flusher" with a hair-trigger siphon effect: its days are numbered. I'm going to stick with American Standard next time.

[Mangospacho]

Wow. You sound like you suffer from invisible turd syndrome (ITS) - also known as dysentery, which is very deadly, if untreated.

[Daniela1982]

You mean it still could have been in there? My poor cat drinks out of the toilet too.

[Mangospacho]

Cats can see it though. Your cat would’ve complained about it by now.

[Mangospacho]

I’m still upset I didn’t get the MHO. I even shared my medical expertise.

[NYCQuestions1976]

A perfect shot down the drain? I've done that a few times. That's a rare feat. 😂

[Daniela1982]

Seems it somehow made the whoop tee doo after hitting just right.

[NYCQuestions1976]

This question was in my feed again. 😂

[Likes2drive]

Not yet but did you ever take one so long you had to stand up to finish 😂

[Daniela1982]

Er, never heard of that. Must have not gone for a couple of weeks.

[Likes2drive]

Or a lot of fiber

[Sparkie460]

No it's never happened to me. Maybe you have invisible turds

[Daniela1982]

Only the invisible man splashes those.

[Sparkie460]

I didn't know that. I've never checked after he went to the bathroom. Lmao 🤣 🤣

[hbg84]

The ever elusive invisible poo. Its really trippy when your high.

[dudes817]

Happened to me this morning lol. It felt like a nice sized poop too, so I'm still kinda mystified by what happened

[Anonymous]

ask megan fox she knows all about shitting her ass out in the toilet and leaving it there

[Daniela1982]

Wait? What? Explain!

[Opinion Owner]

tons of articles about it online her taking a dump and leaving it there and not flushing

[Daniela1982]

Just leaving a souvenir for her fans. Some would have it encased in plastic and put it on the mantle.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Oh Shit! That would really suck.

[Daniela1982]

Well, obviously the toilet didn't suck.

[exitseven]

You just made me laugh. That was too funny.

[exitseven]

I used to sing that when i used to hear this song.

Here I sit broken hearted
Paid my dime and only farted.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQywZYoGB1g

[Andres77]

Not yet

[Andres77]

And I think ur the only girl I've ever seen/heard say "drop a deuce".
😝😝😝

[Daniela1982]

You don't have a brother either. :(

[Andres77]

I’m the youngest of 6.
I’ve heard everything but that…and much less from a girl.
Just pleasantly surprised is all I’m saying

[Daniela1982]

When you hang out with your brother and friends as a teen you learn a lot of things. Not all of them good.

[Andres77]

Well, ur all the more fun for it

[Andres77]

Fist bump!
Drop a deuce and this is what you’ll get..:😉