What's the best comeback you ever gave someone😂?

Question

Once when working at a past Kindergarten yada yada (the link explains more). The transman (a coworker) looked me up and down and tried to belittle me saying "you becoming a big girl" and I looked at the transman's boobs and said "nah you a bigger one"💀 It was petty but it is what it is🙃 What is your best come back?👀

Grond21 · Accepted Answer

The best I ever had was when I was a teenager riding my bike past a kid selling games. There were a bunch on the table, including Monopoly, Jacks, Sorry, and Risk. They caught my eye as he called out to ask if I wanted to buy any. In a fit of brilliance the likes of which shall never be topped this side of heaven, I replied, "Sorry, I dont want to take the risk of monopolizing my money on a game of jacks."

For the rest of my life I will cherish the look of impressed befuddlement on his face as I rode my bike away.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Oh there's no way I could narrow that down to just one. I've owned so many people that "property of" followed by my name should be tattoed on a lot of peoples asses. I had one boss that would avoid confrontations with me because I'd make him look silly each time. He said I was always too quick on my feet.

I'm a sarcastic a**hole but not a mean one. I never use my powers for evil just to get a laugh. I typically won't rip on someone unless I like them, and believe they can take it.

hiyamotherfers · Accepted Answer

I said this to my brother because he was being a smart ass "while you are entitled to an opinion, that doesn't mean people will listen or care about it"

YesToLife · Accepted Answer

Rofl... Goood one

ManOnFire · Answer

An old manager of mine used to try to throw jock-ish pot shots at me whenever me and the other girl on my team were around, he just wanted to try to shame me and put me down in front of her because a lot of men were attracted to her and wanted to sleep with her, including him. So I threw it in his face that he couldn't get anybody because his game was weak and he was totally caught off guard by that - her too. He walked off ashamed and that was so satisfying.

Lliam · Answer

Some idiot in school once got pissed and said "Suck my dick, ass hole." I said "No thanks. I heard that's what your dad says to you every night."

Anonymous · Answer

When a guy said, "go fuck yourself"! Without missing a beat, I said, "You definitely have a lot to learn about the human anatomy".

Sabretooth · Answer

Mrs. Meany : I told you before, no pets allowed in this boarding house, and that's final! I won't have any animals around here.

Woody Woodpecker : These ain't animals, they're harmless little goldfish.

Mrs. Meany : I don't care. I'm not running a pet shop.

Woody Woodpecker : Well, it looks like one, with an old crow in the window!

davidyoungflyer · Answer

One time a person called me a fucking faggot! My comeback was "I wish because if I was I would be just like you!"

Stillsleeping · Answer

Some young cocky fellow at work asked me once if I knew what I was doing. I told him that I was doing this kind of work while he was still slurping on breastmilk.

Wonderingguyy · Answer

My brain is slow working, I always think of excellent comebacks later on when it’s too late!

Andres77 · Answer

Someone called me a pussy. My reply was… You are what you eat.

msc545 · Answer

Someone once said to me "you are getting older" to which I replied, "Yes - better than the alternative."

MementoMori777 · Answer

Too many to count, I can't even think of one cause they come naturally

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

''Your logic makes me lose brain cells'' Me: As if you have any to begin with

muscles_glasses · Answer

it wasn't a comeback but I stood up and walked out on a first date

lorenzomichael · Answer

I'd would have said to him. "Why don't you go fuck yourself."

Anonymous · Answer

Came on his sister's back

What's the best comeback you ever gave someone😂?

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