What to do when someone doesn't want to help themselves?

[virtualwasp]

im tired of trying to help her and she doesn't do anything or want to do it.

[dynamicyandere]

The most loving thing to do is sometimes tough love.


If the hard way is the only way that they will ever learn, sometimes that’s just what you need to let happen. You can let them know that you’re there for them, if they ever need your help. But they need to actually want to improve their situation.


I’ve learned the hard way that you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. They need to at least have a little desire to do something about it.


Otherwise nothing will ever change.

[Yannae]

My answer might not be what you're after but... Letting go. I gave up. It's so exhausting physically and emotionally to hang around a person who destroys not just themselves but also those around them.

We managed to finally get her to agree to be treated in a hospital for a few months. She's out now and for a few months that went well, but now she 's back at it again and again refusing to go back to the hospital. I've been begging to get her to go there for years, over ten years and only last year was my prayer finally heard and guess what, it worked. Until she relapsed and now again refuses to go.

What did it take for her to be convinced? The near destruction of the whole family. And I'm not going to go through that again. I don't want to live myself being unhappy trying to make somebody happy who refuses to cooperate.

[NikolaiIvanovB41]

When someone ask for help, if you can you just help them. They are not asking for you to get attached.

If someone is drug addiction it doesn't matter how much money and help you give them they are just going to keep taking from you until they ruin you.

If I help someone, I help and that's it. I don't put someone in front of my own needs.

[ProbablyClueless]

All you can do is love someone like that from a distance.

[LazerBean]

Stop wasting your time with them

[jahaims]

Let them fail