Why do people equate older aged virgins with immaturity?

Question

I remember this celebrity revealing on a talk show that she was a virgin until she was like 29 and people were losing their minds over it. Some people consider there to be something wrong with a person if they are an older virgin, and honestly I don't know who gets it worse, men or women, because it seems to be the same level of taunting and treating them like they are somehow not adult enough, but why are people sooo concerned over this when they find out? It's their life, right? It's like why does it matter if they learned to ride a bike at 6 vs 26? It's their life.

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

Compare it to the assumptions people have when they run into a guy who's never drank alcohol before. Or better yet example, someone who has never driven a car or someone that's never held a job.

The lack of experience is what they're judging. All things you expect out of a minor, but as an adult it brings up the question..."So, why exactly have you not done this thing before?"

I agree it's their life, and do what they want with it... but you can never underestimate how solipsistic people can be. They basically judge from their own viewpoint.

I catch a lot of shit for my use of the word "solipsistic" so here is a video.

https://youtu.be/c9ULvz_NLlk?si=_CyuSpbNqxXt97oF

And just like when I use that word, they'll usually go to google because they don't know it, and then say I'm using it wrong because it doesn't match google's definition that is given. It makes me roll my eyes probably like a MGTOW Monk rolls their eyes when someone is calling them names for simply choosing not to mess with women anymore. They don't understand because they view things only from their own perspective. There is a few more psychology specific words that I could throw out there that has the same effect on people.

... It really reminds me of this book report I did in the 4th grade. I went after my friend did his presentation on Eric the Red which made it so much worse. I proceeded to tell them that Vikings did not have horns or wings on their helmets and that was created by romantic writers. I shit you not, everyone did not believe me and even the teacher scolded me. ... You see, they can't reason with anything outside of their own beliefs or perspective. I sat down after that presentation only to be told a few more times that I was wrong by classmates. I was right then and I'm still right... no fucking horns or wings. And the assumptions made about someone that chooses not to fuck seem unbelievable to many humans because they put fucking on a pedestal. They'll assume shit like they must be gay or they can't get laid like a INCEL or something. Haters are gonna hate, it is what it is, and when you boil it all down... humans act like this a lot.

blueonblack22 · Accepted Answer

Your sex life (or lack thereof) is supposed to be nobody else’s business. It’s actually one the key issues I have about a lot of modern “movements”. These certain groups of people kept on saying that what “two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedroom is nobody’s business.” At least what they used to say a few short years ago. Now they want to MAKE their sex lives everyone’s business and literally beg, protest and demand special attention for it But that’s a different topic

The way I look it as long as you treat other people decently then who CARES about your sex life (or lack thereof). If you are a female virgin in your late 30s so be it. I have no idea about your background, experiences, choice, sex drive, looks, etc. However there is probably good reason for your decisions.

If you are seriously PERSONALLY unhappy about it (removing all outside judgement) get counseling about it. You are not going fall dead just because you never had sex before. But it is (for most people) one of life’s top pleasures. But if it’s not for you then screw what other people think.

HighValue · Accepted Answer

If anyone has self discipline to do the right thing, many people in society will dislike them for it. There are multiple examples.

Keeping virginity until they find a partner they think is compatible for long term. Not doing drugs when their friends are. Not drinking alcohol and making bad life decisions (cheating, attacking significant other, getting liver or pancreatic cancer, etc.), not wasting all of their money on an overpriced vehicle and oversized house to impress others and instead having a comfortable savings. All of those things cause the weak minded people to dislike them.

CozyCoffin · Accepted Answer

People expect everyone to follow the norm and if they aren't like everyone else, they're considered "weird".

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Because it looks like “ COWARDICE ” “ WEAKNESS ”. It looks like someone who’s not “ DARING ”.  If anything, it also looks like someone’s whose genes are so terrible, that nobody bothers dealing with them. Like no one’s trying to “ REPRODUCE ” with them. It looks like they were “ LEFT OUT ”. Specially for men/males it looks like they got left out.  For women too, but for women, it generally looks like she’s got some mental health issue or some bodily issue. Because everyone knows, that everyone likes sex. It’s a desire brought on by puberty and hormones. Our bodies literally beg us to have sex. Both males and females.  Males get erections and Females get wet. It’s a drive that’ll make anyone crazy to not deal with it or satiate it somehow.  And to go through your 20’s, your entire youth, your prime years, not having the  GUTS  to talk to someone, or meet people and strip and get naked to experience this desire with someone of the opposite sex. IS PATHETIC , ITS OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING GONE WRONG WITH THEM. THE MALE MUST BE HIDEOUS, AND THE FEMALE MUST HAVE SOME ISSUE.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Im a virgin at 28, and everyone keep asking why? The problem is I can't find a man who is mature enough this days, I know nobody is perfect. Everything is about sex, what about building trust first, if I dont trust you how Im supposed to have sex with you? I dont see the inmaturity in being a virgin at an older age, at least for me personally, inmaturity for me is being a liar, selfish and unreliable. But of of course sex is everything to this world, so if you are still a virgin you are ignorant and inmature🤦🏾‍♀️

RebelinSteel · Answer

I don’t think people do, it’s usually more where people are faced with virgins taking the high ground over non virgins or those who have had more than x partners. A bit like cyclists and motorists, cyclists will take that ‘moral’ high ground over motorists and slag them off every chance they get. Yes a lot of motorists suck but cyclists take it to the next level.
there is a Twitter story going around on UK tags, with a group of cyclists going through a red light, followed by an unmarked police car who stops them, and fines them all. All motorists are laughing at the cycling lot for getting their due desserts. The same with virgins, a non virgin will happily (huge generalisation) slag off and put down non virgins in their teens and twenties, which obviously gets on the nerves of non virgins. Then when a non virgin hits 30, then 31, then 32 etc, they become those cyclists going through that red light. The other analogy is the toy that has had many owners but has been looked after versus the toy that has had no owners and is sitting on the last empty shelf in the store room,

RingOfFire · Answer

Not sure what the fact that it's "their life" has to do with thinking that someone who is a virgin is "immature."

If someone thinks they are immature that doesn't mean they think they are not entitled to live their life as they choose and make their own choices.

Immaturity can take many forms. I agree that someone who is a virgin is missing one of the dimensions of "maturity" because sexual union is one of the most fulfilling, depth building, life changing, experiences humans can have. If a person has never experienced it I think they are immature in some sense. It is part of the human experience that builds maturity. Has nothing to do with wanting to deny anyone a right to make their own choices about it.

JacobJordan · Answer

Anyone who thinks that way is very stupid. I waited until I was almost 26 because I have self respect and morals. Why would I or anyone want to lose their virginity outside a serious relationship? Simple those that do are immature and more often than not end up chaining sexual partners together because they have no self control or self respect. It is honestly revolting to hear how some people are proud of having double digit sexual partners. And yet they have had zero healthy relationships. Nothing to be proud about when it comes to having failed at everything in life so badly you have to resort to being proud you even failed so badly at relationships you were able to string a bunch of guys or girls along to fuck you and then leave you. Of the a 2; a virgin or a hoe most people would pick the virgin

ManOnFire · Answer

Everyone is having sex or had it a young age, so everyone thinks older virgins are missing out or just plain inexperienced. I know some older virgins, and I don't judge them for it. I think male virgins get it the worse though. Female virgins are seen as more desirable no matter what her age is.

mobiusforniner · Answer

I’m willing to wager that most virgin men past 30 are involuntarily celibate; likely angry about their situation, blaming women for only wanting “bad boys”, upset how life feels unfair, socially inept, unable to self reflect and unwilling to change themselves to better their future.

All of which is by definition, immature

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

The guy steve played in the 40 year old virgin is not immature, he's a collectable enthusiast. The woman he dated was mentally immature, because she viewed hobbies and childish, which is a sign of poor brain development. He should have picked a different woman, one who shared his hobbies.

Filthy_Immigrant · Answer

sex its part of life, its how our parents created us and its how the human race still exist. therefore this is enough to proof its part of life and if you go so damn long without doing something that you were clearly made to do biologically by the time you're an adult then there is clearly something wrong with you

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Do they? I think people think that it's weird, especially for men, but women also after a certain age.. By 29, most people expect you to have been with multiple people.. Our society hasn't long valued chastity anymore so much so that you are made fun of..

Jamie05rhs · Answer

You could be immature if you don't date at all. I have met women who are amazing, wonderful, beautiful, intelligent, and talented. And yet they are afraid to date, so they turn down every guy who asks them. I do think it's a sign of emotional immaturity.

Now, if you ARE dating but you're still a virgin, then no; you are not immature. You're just smart.

Anonymous · Answer

I knew a really handsome man, who was supposedly a virgin until recently, where he’s trying to pick up women on dating sites and probably doing quite well. He was 29 at the time. I also knew a few other friends who were virgins into their thirties and forties. I’m 35 and lost my virginity at 19. I’ve personally never judged. It seems a bit unusual, but that’s their business.

LazerBean · Answer

Because even now, there are certain landmarks that people are generally expected to pass as they grow older. So same reason why not getting married and having children is often chalked up to immaturity.

Berethor · Answer

I prefer a virgin woman, but it seen as immature because most adults are having sex.

Daniela1982 · Answer

Where did you get that jazz?

Anonymous · Answer

Because we live in an oversexed society.

There are just things that society equates with success. Money, status, power, sexual conquest/attractiveness. It's a large reason I don't date anymore. Most women today have become so sexually aggressive and manipulative, it's very off-putting.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

I think it's because most people who are virgins after 25 are not that way by choice and probably the number one way to not get laid is by being immature and not funny.

wiltingrosepetal · Answer

Because it's socially expected for people to shag as soon as they're able to

TenderFantasy · Answer

That's my ex lol... unless he was outright lying to me haha.  People will care, gossip about anything if you give them a chance.

DextroShade · Answer

If a man is a virgin into his 30's he us assumed to be a loser; if a woman is a virgin at 30 it's assumed that there is something seriously wrong with her for wasting her best reproductive years.

litty736 · Answer

Because society can be backwards sometimes. Its marriage before kids but the reverse of this is widely accepted. I say virgins have integrity. They value and respect themselves. They know they are not for everybody.

jahaims · Answer

Because most people who are virgins in their 40s aren't virgins by choice.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

It could be because so many of those sorts of people tend to come across socially awkward, or just generally uncomfortable with themselves.

Nikki1989 · Answer

I never think that, but they do seem to be generally very socially awkward people.

turnpost · Answer

Hey it beats being that bum ass person who is broke and has 3 children being taken care off on the goverments tax money, while all they do is take drugs.

Squatting_Slav · Answer

Well, i would assume its because you would associate it with them not being not being attractive or confident enough or something odd that's put other women off

Tomisworthless · Answer

Older virgins like me are just sexually repulsive and years of bullying and rejection leaves us mad at the world which only intensifies further isolation

genericname85 · Answer

they don't. they equate it with being a failure.

BLP11520 · Answer

Some people fall through the cracks and don’t have sex, young for many different reasons why people judge them when they act like they sleep with anything any time, no restraint whatsoever🧐

Anonymous · Answer

Would you think someone who didn't learn to read until they were 40 is somehow as normal as someone who learned to read at 5?

Zestyassmf1997 · Answer

It might be their life, but if you’re gonna publicly advertise it…

HouseMoat · Answer

Because a lot of immature people, don't know how to deal with such a mature thing, like sex

AngryCarl · Answer

Statistical outliers will always provoke comment. Regarding maturity, for most of us sex is part of the coming of age process.

Clueless27828282 · Answer

Owww I want a man who is virgin so much you can pass me him

DreamLife7 · Answer

Who cares? Aren't you of the older age range? U should know the answer

Anonymous · Answer

Because society is backwards asked Because of the feminist movement pushing women to be whores

Dargil · Answer

Or maybe they set different priorities.

Anonymous · Answer

In the real world, or on GAG?

Pohjolan · Answer

Projection.

Why do people equate older aged virgins with immaturity?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do people equate older aged virgins with immaturity?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.