What aspects of your life are more difficult than people realize?

[Anonymous]

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I work remotely for my job which comes with the benefits of an extremely flexible schedule. I can treat a Monday night like it's Friday night and party. All I have to do is commit changes to our version control regularly, meet deadlines, write up weekly reports, and do one weekly Skype meeting. For everything else, I am in entire control over how I spend my time.

So many people say they envy this yet there's a very difficult side to it. I have to rely entirely on self-motivation to get my work done and I tend to procrastinate a lot. My work life and private life have a tendency to blur together.

To try to give people an idea who haven't done this yet, imagine not having to go to school but they'll give you 12+ hours worth of homework every day which you have to complete entirely on your own. You might genuinely start missing going to class and only having an hour or two of homework each day.

I actually miss working in the office that way. My life was actually easier back then.

[Asker]

ahhh dang yeah that does sounds difficult! Even though I'm an introvert with social anxiety, I'd choose the social setting because I need my free time when I'm at home.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I think I've realized just how much of an extrovert I am over the pandemic. Used to think I'm sort of ambiverted since I tend to kind of get lost in my own mind a lot which seems unusual for an extrovert. 😅 Actually someone told me that ENFPs (what I am on MBTI/Jung) are the most introverted extroverts which makes sense to me.

Before the pandemic, my company at least flew us to business trips in the US (my company is an American company) 4-5 times a year and for 1-2 weeks each time. So when I was starting to turn into an unmotivated slacker, those business trips would sort of recharge my batteries, seeing my colleagues in person, and I'd be motivated to work for the following weeks to the point where you'd have to tear me away from my work. I kind of derive some sort of energy and motivation to work being around people with the same goals.

Yet post-pandemic, our company stopped flying us to these business trips and I've found it much more difficult without an impending deadline to get myself to work hard. I'm procrastinating way more falling behind only to spend overnighters to catch up and then fall behind again in a vicious cycle. I haven't figured out how to fix it yet. 😅 Like right now I'm procrastinating a lot using this site.

by the way, Sonorous, do you remember me? I've been off the site for a long time but we originally talked about how to record music. LTNS! Hope you are doing well. I just recently quit drinking alcohol completely towards the end of last year. Was turning into a deranged drunkard over the pandemic.

[Asker]

Oh yeah I remember you! Funny because I still use the exact DAW you recommended 🤣 It's really good on cpu! But I feel you on not being entirely extraverted though because though, I'm mostly introverted & when I'm around people I like, I become more extraverted.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Cheers! Was it FL Studio? My memory is a bit foggy but that's one I always used the most, sometimes Sonar. My only gripe with FL Studio is that I get very stuck in a loopy mindset with the patterns which tempts me to just sort of copy and paste sections of music, make the smallest tweaks to them for minimal variety, and end up with very repetitive music.

[Asker]

Hopefully I'm remembering correctly but I think you were the one who told me about "MuLabs," since all I do is play the piano, it's the perfect daw for me!

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I think that must have been someone else in that case! It looks very good but I've never tried it. Now I'm curious to try it though; the screenshots look very appealing to me.

[Asker]

*scrolls for hours finding the post just to prove you wrong* 🤣

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I might have suggested it trying to just search some good ones that can be tried for free. That does seem to offer an attractive free version. I mostly remember just trying to get your music from keyboard into MIDI input so that you don't have to just record the analog sound into a waveform and start getting it in more pliable MIDI form.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

My memory isn't as good these days. I think with the whole Stoicism and inner peace kind of stuff, the more I practice it, the more I mellow out. But mellowing out makes it harder to remember lots of things and keep things in memory since I don't attach nearly as strong emotions to them anymore.

[Asker]

Yeah that was probably it tbh. And now I can't go back to that analog format 🤣 I've fallen in love with virtual sounds

[Asker]

Yeah that's how I am nowadays with a lot of things. But mainly because I've become apathetic in a bad way. even forget when my family members are newly pregnant 😅 Cause I just don't really care much.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

They're like endless toys. I end up collecting a boatload of synths and just get amazed by the sound coming out. But I also overwhelm myself with the sheer variety of sounds available and end up getting nothing done sometimes. 😅 This one never ceases to amaze me:
https://youtu.be/tyl9q44-ixE

[Asker]

yooooooooooooo that is a nice sound! I listen to choral music all the time & wouldn't be able to tell that was a vst 🤣

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

It's quite amazing that way. I don't own it (costs a whole lot and massive installation) but I tried it in a music store demoing it and was blown away by the sound. In general I just like to collect VSTs left and right. Bummer is that I have a whole bunch of old projects I have difficulty opening these days though whenever I switch computers since I have so many plugins I relied on in those that I have to gather up and collect all over again. 😅

[Asker]

Ahhhh yeah some of the best sounding plugins I notice have so many samples that it takes forever to load 🤣 but yo here's a plugin shoutout. I tend to use this a lot in subtle ways to give my music more life:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoWfjEclkqs

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

That sounds extremely good and clean. Audio filters are something I need to look into more in general. I tend to just install synth after synth. Also completely lacking in audio mastering skills. Some of my friends who are professional musicians listen to my tracks and always tell me that I need to work on digital mastering and clarity of each distinct frequency of sound, but my ears are so bad that I can't tell the diff unless it's pointed out to me by a pro. 😅

[Asker]

Tbh I'd be so bad at mastering 🤣 I remember watching videos like dans about how it's done & it made my head hurt
https://www.youtube.com/@DanWorrall/videos

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Same for me. I watched a bunch of tutorials but they just kind of went over my head. I rely more on the visualizer than my ears to try to fill out all the frequencies of sound but I still tend to get a bit of a muddled sound. There's a plugin in FL Studio called "Sound Goodizer" which tries to automate it and I sometimes just slap that and call it done since it still sounds better than my manual attempts. 😅

[AaronKrieger]

Having ADD.

No, it is not as serious as depression or anxiety. The symptoms are so easily treatable unlike other disorders like those two mentioned. However, the symptoms can be serious especially if unmedicated.

It essentially turns you into a manchild and holds you back unless medicated which can stop 70% of it. Whenever it does I rarely ever use it as an excuse, as it is misunderstood. It does get looked down on, which I get - it is massively overdiagnosed.

[IslaTheWitch]

social interactions...

sometimes, we have in-person meetings with other managers... 12 people in one meeting room. I'm autistic... so the fact I need to be there is already difficult for me. The rest of the managers are men, including C-level. I'm 5'1", so of course, they literally look down on me :D

in those meetings, I need to share my team's roadmap updates and progress on current projects. I need to answer questions, explain hard to understand for business people technical things and decline additional requests. It's damn difficult to be in the spotlight and interact with many people at the same time...

and then in 360, I get opinions like *collected*, *calm*, *reasonable* lol... years of training and therapy definitely helped, but I'm still a complete mess when I return home... sleep is the best help for social exhaustion... or a good book...

[Insecure2]

I teach English at a private language' school and the most difficult aspect is to meet everyone's expectations. People have long lists of things they want, need, wait for you to do, but they often do not put much effort into IT. The more work you do, the more you care, the less they work, but always expect you to fix the problem, while being flexible and adjusting to them. I have to adjust my schedule to others, prepare interesting lessons exclusively for them and make sure they pass their exams/graduate safely. If I don't match those expectations, I'm just a bad or lazy teacher WHO wasted their money.

[MemeSupreme]

wasn't plannin on being this deep but it stuck out to me

its been YEARS since i was cutting but that dont mean self harm is over. there's so many things that can trigger it that leads to me still kinda doing it. it just pops in my head casually a lot and ngl it's a bitch to not do

like I've burned myself and crashed a bike intentionally just to feel somethin. it's a bad habit to get into and i gotta fight with myself to not start it up again

[BlissfullyCurSed]

try taking up martial arts as a hobby. you'll hurt others instead. 🥋🥋🥋

[Dongie]

Have you ever considered masterbation? a lot less painful and leaves very few scars.

[MemeSupreme]

@BlissfullyCurSed im weak as shit so martial arts a no go lol

[BlissfullyCurSed]

You'll learn little grasshooper.

[7Phoenix7]

Being an introvert and needing my alone time.

[Candymtf]

Dealing with my hormonal issues. People think I want to be like this, but I don't. I don't have the working anatomy and I have wide hips and gynecomastia that developed because my anatomy doesn't work

[PeachyPie93]

Isolation and controlling my emotions. When I was younger I could fake being happy and fake basically everything but now I think I've grown mentally weak.

[Nikki1989]

My job can be challenging at times.

[bobby_bush_eater]

The burden I continuously carry from my time in the military even though now I work a corporate desk job... It's like a bad movie.

[NathanDavis]

It ain't easy being cheesy...

[Asker]

that reminded me of this 🤣
streamable.com/aubm3v?src=player-page-share

[NathanDavis]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGMh1MEN3bE

[Asker]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[OtterMan68]

making friends. I only have one good friend.

[CuriousMufuxka]

None. It's taken a couple decades and a lot of work, a LOT! to be financially and more importantly mentally viable.

[jahaims]

Starting from nothing compared to my friends who get parental help.

[ab2shifty]

I think meeting new people..

ion know why but I’m strict when I meet new people 🤣

[Dongie]

Chronic pain.

[Asker]

I can relate. What kind do you have?

[Dongie]

I broke both legs and arms on a wreck in '96. The surgeon botched the surgery by making my left femur 3/4 of an inch to long and my right fib & tibia a 1/4 inch shorter. Three years later my body was misaligned. Then in 2018 a doctor operating on my left hand fractured a bone in my neck from having my arm twisted during surgery. So 6 months late had surgery to fix that. Last April 14th I was hit by a car while walking across Auto Express parking lot by an employee. Knocked me 10 feet through the air. I have pain in all four extremities, my neck and lower back. So what's your pain?

[Asker]

okay nvm I can't relate

[LiamJHayden]

None that I can think of.

[litty736]

Social aspect. Not a sociable person

[msc545]

My work.

[PrettyCrumblBb]

None.