Guys, When I want a yes or no answer to a question I ask him, about his feelings for me... He will say sure instead of a yes/no.. the fence?

[Midlife5356]

[Anonymous]

Guys will show their feelings with how the deal with you. My ex-gf used to always put me on the spot, saying "why do you love me?" or more usually "you don't love me!" <space left for me to make an argument why she's wrong>.

It was always a trap. If I try to explain how I love her, she would feel that I'm unconvincing, if I don't try she would just double down her opinion she was unloved. I learned the trick every decent husband learns, the passive response. Neither confirm nor deny. "Sure, its fine". Nice and safe. Since with my ex, she was always checking for some answer which would either confirm her hopes or her fears, and it was always a trap for me, because I could say what should make her fears melt away and instead confirm her fears, because she's got her ideas of what response means what thing. So, if you stick to the 'safety' responses, not either way, you never lose too bad, sure you get a little bit she's afraid a little bit she's got hope, but its way better than two honest tellings of your feelings done in love to only have her take the worst possible things from it leaving you feeling disgusted at how someone is seeing your love.

If you don't want to be like my ex (don't recommend the mode of being) stop asking how he feels about you and start saying how you feel about him, and let him speak freely and safely about any topic without reading into it either offence, defence or anything except to try to see why someone you love might be that way. Then, he will naturally open up and speak about you, but, you need not to get sensitive about it. Guy might hognail all over your ideas of how a person should express love and what emotions he should be having. Find the best in things. If after along time of doing this, your finding he's still not really sharing feelings about you. Just say honestly "You know, I worry that's all you seem to think about when you speak of me". Just leave that there to be commented upon.

Either you will learn what your partner is like and develop a deeper aprechiation for all his quirks, or you will get to see that maybe the way he sees you isn't the way you need to be seen. If that happens and you love him, confess what you need and hope he shows you how he loves you in a way that fullfills what you requested. If you don't, you'll know for sure this isn't going to work out.

Hope that helps someone.

[Mr_twoface]

Some people just don't know how to express their emotions the correct way. Saying sure is sometimes another way of saying yes. Feel free to speak to him about it and explain your reasoning. In the long run, it may cause fraction between you guys, when you feel he uses the same term on you but also when you ask him to take out the carbage or do the cleaning.

[JacobJordan]

Guys don't talk about how they feel they SHOW how they feel.

[Drewtate]

It's either an affirmative answer or sarcasm.

[lildkman1010]

Then he’s dodging the question

[Anonymous]

Tell him to be serious

[andreasderjuengere]

Errmmmm: yes :)

[firenine909]

Sure is yes usually