Is betraying commitment in a relationship an unforgivable act in your opinion?

[Anonymous]

It is to me, I believe in second chances but some things just don't deserve second chances, I believe some things just show depth in character and can change a perspective on how you view someone to the point that no matter how many chances you give that person, there's nothing to change the way you see them.

[CrazyGirl2]

Yes, to me it is anyway! The operative word there is betray! If you betray me, our relationship is over, I don’t care if it's a casual friendship, a best friend, a boyfriend, or a (future) husband. The thing which makes infidelity such a difficult thing to for give, especially when the couple is not married, or have no children is the act of betrayal! There are few things in our life that are more painful than the feeling one receives fro the knowledge that one has been betrayed. So I think that unless one is married with children, if we are cheated on... we need to end the relationship! Cheaters cheat, it's what they do, it's why they’re called cheaters! So if someone has no problem betraying the person they claim to love, they will betray anyone, especially the one they love (again), because they have already learned that they will not suffer any consequences if they do!

I hope this helps,
Laura. 🤗 🥰

[Asker]

Yep lots of facts, very wise words, that's a good mindset on this topic.

[CrazyGirl2]

Wow, thank you very much. That was really sweet of you to write. 🥰

[provokeesmokee]

I wouldn't forgive a cheater.

I've recently come to believe some remorseful cheaters can change. But certainly not most.

I personally won't tolerate or take back a cheater.

[Asker]

Respectable and understandable

[NathanDavis]

I do think I could forgive cheating

but I would still consider the relationship over, but forgive I can... once we talk and I understand things, I don't see no reason to hold grudges like that

I rather move on from resentment and hurt, and that to help myself

so, forgive, yes... I can forgive, but the relationship does end

[avery58]

Yes. Even the people who choose to forgive it never truly do, there's always going to be resentment and lack of trust.

[Asker]

Yea and even grudges where they will eventually bring it back up

[Account]

There is no turn back. If it is done it is done. And if it is done to me it means that I am immediately not able to care about them in any way.

[Asker]

Respectable, you have a crown now, I knew you would take some shit over lol

[IslaTheWitch]

Chico, what do you understand as betraying commitment? Like doing nothing? Not paying attention to your partner needs? Cheating?

[Asker]

I'm talking about cheating 😂

[IslaTheWitch]

cheating is always bad...

but...

when I was a kid my parents taught me a very important truth about human relationships...

that rarely only one side is at 100% fault...

in the relationship two people build it... so if a man neglectes his wife needs... he is partially at fault if she fulfill her needs with other guy...

if she is always not in the mood and he finds a girl who is always in the mood... the wife also is partially at fault...

cheating is always bad... neglected partners should break up or divorce before they find another person to love or to fuck... but people who neglected them also are responsible for what happened in their relationship...

[Asker]

Some are completely at fault, some just can't control themselves and see an open opportunity and refuse to fight off any temptation that leads them to such betrayal.

[IslaTheWitch]

but look, if their needs were satisfied in the relationship... what is the chance they would be tempted?

[Asker]

People are wired differently

[bobalife]

I wouldn't look at them the same way. I'd be heartbroken and take my leave.

[Asker]

Understandable

[LazerBean]

Yes I do, but also in my opinion the only real relationship commitments are betrothal (engagement) and marriage. Everything leading up to those two are simply a trial period to see if the person is worth you making those commitments to them.

[12karen]

I forgive most of the time, I too believe in second chance, or even more than just two chances

[Asker]

Why?

[12karen]

Why not?

[Asker]

Cause as a human with feelings and emotions that remains loyal to their partner I believe you deserve the same energy reflected back from your partner, it shows a strong level of childish selfishness to know you have a loyal partner and you take advantage of that, someone loyal shouldn't have to deal with the pain of a betrayal, I don't know how you are going to take this but I hope one day you can see the value of what you deserve as a person and make the choice to stop cutting slack on someone that will only see your forgiving trait as a bigger reason to continue doing what they do, kindness and forgiveness are traits that many people take advantage of, if there's no child in the picture i dont see a reason to sacrifice anything for someone that not only betrayed you once but that continues to do so.

[12karen]

Wow, thank you (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)
you're right people shouldn't take advantage of kindness and forgiveness, it's a childish behavior

[Asker]

Indeed so, time is valuable and it's wise to use that time wisely, we aren't getting any younger and at some point we might regret what we invested our time in throughout our lifetime, something to think about I guess.

[12karen]

Damn, yeah, I'm getting older. No need to waste time on those who aren't even worth it

[Asker]

Indeed, his actions only show that he isn't putting how you feel over his own needs or pleasures and that's coming from someone that supposedly loves you, such flaky behavior really should make anyone question their character, your feelings should be at the top of his own, clearly you have his over your own

[Nikki1989]

Commitment only works when you have something worth committing to.