Why would someone hit you up to not really conversate?

[Anonymous]

This has happened far too many times where someone hits me up and expects me to keep the conversation going, I don't get this cause they legit confuse me because I'm not one to insist if someone isn't interested in a conversation so I don't get the purpose of this, I try 3 times to get a conversation going, if they remain cold i call quits, anyone have this happen? lol

[Anonymous]

Some folks are strange like that. I recently cut someone off because I felt like I was putting more effort into the friendship than they were, and even when I asked if I was bothering them, they always said no, but I had a bad feeling I was. Also, they would leave me on read, which I suppose told me everything I needed to know. I just don't see why people can't openly express their feelings. He could have simply stated that he does not want to talk or that he does not see this friendship progressing, but he did not, so I just cut him off.

[Asker]

Yep that's basically the hint it gives, I can understand that, it makes it harder for the person trying to read the other, I think you made the best choice for the situation, there's no reason you have to put so much effort it they fail to at least match it.

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you.

[Asker]

💯💯

[valentina4eva]

i’m guessing ur talking about girls doing this?😅😅 my guess would be she wanted u to lead the convo and her follow, but if she’s indifferent after 3 tries, then that’s just a ‘her’ problem!!🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ that or she’s texting like 5 diff people at once and just lost track, which i am also guilty of doing sumtimes😂🙈🙈

[Asker]

Well I guess for either one of those the best solution is to end it, nooo not the Valentina barbie 😭

[valentina4eva]

oh wait, is this someone ur seeing or just some new person?🤔🤔 my comment was for if it was some random new girl😅😅

and yes sometimes i can be very scatterbrained!!😂😂 but never on purpose😵‍💫

[Asker]

This happens with new people that contact me first, it never made sense to me to contact someone to then be cold, well what do you expect when you are responding to several people at once 😂

[valentina4eva]

okie i am in agreement, doesn’t make sense😵‍💫😵‍💫

[Asker]

Lol.

[NathanDavis]

that's why I don't date online... lol

still do it in person

[Asker]

Date? I'm talking about conversating 😂

[NathanDavis]

then, is not an issue I've had

[Asker]

I would understand if I hit them up first, I don't get it

[NathanDavis]

some have that kind of personality... and it's just not so easy for them to bring themselves out in the first place

could also be that they're nervous about something

maybe they were into you, and felt intimidated, lol

[NathanDavis]

and yes, that happens sometimes... people feel intimidated, lol and they become unsure of what to do as a next step

[Asker]

How do I know the difference between that and they lost interest?

[Asker]

Two seconds into a convo 💀

[NathanDavis]

two seconds into it... maybe you made them nervous

or it was the timing, and they got too busy, or fell asleep, lol

[Asker]

Not like I'll ever get the answer to this

[Account]

Whenever someone does that, it makes me immediately think that they only texted me in order for me to entertain them. Guess what? I match the effort. If there is no effort, they get none. No matter who it is.

[Asker]

I understand that, I personally show the slight bit of more effort so clarify to myself that I put the work, they didn't so I have every rights in every book to make the choice to stop wasting time.

[Account]

That is what I am saying, do not give them more effort than you already do. It is not worth it.

[Asker]

I shall follow that advice

[Account]

Thank you. Yeah I am saying that for your own good. You shouldn't be the one putting that much effort all the time, such things should be at least close to equal!

[Asker]

I usually try keeping it equal but I just don't understand why people would contact me first to then be dry when it comes to any form of conversation, happens enough that I can't just ignore anymore, I need answers 😂

[midnightmoon05]

😂 you dealing with girls?

[Asker]

Why you sound surprised tho 😂

[midnightmoon05]

Not surprised… I just figured… and prob should not waste your time … these are little girls in their brain so they play little girl games with you.

[Asker]

So what do I do?

[midnightmoon05]

Smh 🤦‍♀️
“And probably should not waste your time”.

Girls like that are attention seekers … drop them/block them. Focus on the ones who give you the time and respect. Focus on building yiur business.

[Asker]

Maybe I should just focus on that and not think too deep about strangers

[midnightmoon05]

You are learning my friend.

[Asker]

Lol.

[PrettyCrumblBb]

😬😬😬😬

[Asker]

What 😂

[PrettyCrumblBb]

I have done this. When chatting with multiple people. I have forgotten to answer by accident lol

[PrettyCrumblBb]

You and crumbl bee are almost posing the same

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Also it's converse not conversate

[Asker]

Correct me one more time crumble bee and I'm putting you on a glue trap 😂

And it's different, they respond but just dry even tho they hit me up

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Ohhhh. They want you to want them.

[Asker]

I don't understand

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Yeah they want you to simp for them.

[Asker]

Well that's toxic

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Like they wanna feel wanted but they don't wanna put effort

[Asker]

Do they have to Dm someone to get attention and validation? I kinda doubt that considering they aren't ugly people.

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Maybe they think they are.. or maybe they want validation in general... or maybe they suck at holding a conservation. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Asker]

That's a lot of maybes

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Maybe.

[tuna35]

I dont know

[Asker]

Very helpful 💀

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

lolol