How do you deal with a gay parrot?

[saraupstairs]

First of all, I paid a small fortune for Billy. Why? Because “hand-fed” birds are at least 5-10 times more expensive than a wild bird. Why is that? Because they aren’t allowed to be raised by their bird moms, they are raised by humans. These birds just assume that they’re just really short humans.

And before I bought Billy, I did a bunch of research. Boy birds are not only smarter, the best talkers, but they are the prettiest.

I didn’t care about Billy being pretty, I just wanted someone I could talk to. I wanted someone to have meaningful conversations with.

For those of you who didn’t grow up on a farm, let me show you the difference between a peacock and a peahen.

https://images.pexels.com/photos/2683940/pexels-photo-2683940.jpeg

I don’t know if God is wise, or just has a sense of humor. But in the bird world, the boy birds really have to look spiffy to keep up with the chicks.

But my concern isn’t about “spiffy.” I wanted a smart boy bird I can talk to about politics. Billy never wants to talk. He just likes to lay eggs. What does it mean? Is he gay?

[exitseven]

I think he is really a she. You should have turned her upside down before you spent all that money. However having fresh eggs every day could save you a bundle. Have you seen what eggs cost at the supermarket?

[saraupstairs]

There are about 5 people on this site with a brain. I wish it could be more than that, but it is what it is. I think you would concur. You might just be one of them smart people.

We are always reading studies about mice. Few people like mice. I'm no exception to that. And it might just be mice racism. I'm not sure. I read a study that said if you continually tap a mouse's buttocks with the eraser end of a pencil, they will poop! Holy crap! I wonder how much we paid for that study.

When Billy and I went to college in Idaho, we lived in a converted garage. It was the cat's meow. I had to clip Billy's wings, because I didn't want him flying off to Argentina or another place in Idaho.

But to make up for it, I built a ladder so Billy could get down on the floor. My ladder was made of coat hanger wire and beads.
Why would Billy want to get down on the floor?
1. To get the popcorn
2. To kill the spiders

Have you ever seen an Idaho spider? They would take the keys to your Ford Truck and drive off into the night.

[exitseven]

Thanks for that. I would pay good money to see a parrot drive my F-150

[saraupstairs]

Is it an automatic?

[exitseven]

@saraupstairs yes, you cannot buy one with a stick anymore. I cannot believe it.

[saraupstairs]

Comedy is the only real meaning to life. Billy could drive a stick if the pedals weren't so far away. The pedal people are racists against parrots. You know that. Bastards! Billy could have been the president. How hard is it to sleep on the beach?

[exitseven]

@saraupstairs Truthfully it is hard to sleep on the beach. All the bugs that come out at night are really nasty.

[saraupstairs]

Bugs are monsters. But you know that we will climb the highest mountain to find the right person.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3-5YC_oHjE

My F-150 was named Bufered. She was slow, but she did her best. She got me there.

[exitseven]

My new F-150 is 5 years old next week. Time flies.

[Dongie]

I'll take a drumstick! 😯



Just kidding.
Cece and I talk all the time. She doesn't use words but she understands English. She communicates with her eyes and body language.

[saraupstairs]

Dongie, Get some 8 1/2 by 11 sheets of paper. Take your sharpie and write a simple word on it. I know I like to joke, but this is real. Dogs can learn to read. Cece can learn to read. When my brother told me my niece could read, I thought it was joke.

My brother paid some big bucks to put Bailey through dog college. But at dog college, they don't teach the dogs, they teach YOU how to teach Cece. Then you go home and teach your bestest friend how to read. Sit... roll... lay... etc...
I'm not joking. (I sound like Biden)
Get those sheets of paper and some snausages

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NqF6tal4oE

Dogs are a bit slow in the reading department, but soon Cece will be flying an f-18 Hornet. Dogs are smarter than most people on this site.

[saraupstairs]

[Dongie]

That's cute!

Cece knows English. She remembers people's names. I can ask her to go get a certain thing from the bedroom, and she does it. I admit I could use a bit of training.

But she's so smart it amazes me.

[saraupstairs]

Cats tolerate you, at best. Cece will take a bullet for you.

But on a lighter note, wouldn't it suck to come back in your next life as a Rhodesian Redback?

Dongie: Cece, I'm pretty sure I heard a lion outside. Can you go check it out?

Cece: Wait, what?

Dongie: A lion! They are vicious and will rip you to shreds with their claws! Go check it out!

Cece: Wait, what?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1Gq-I8YMZE

Dogs are the coolest people on Earth

[Dongie]

😂 Cece is Jack Russel / Chihuahua mix. A Jack-Wa-Wa.
I have pictures, but Gag won't let me post them anymore.

[Danny_dan92]

Release it into the wild and wish it the best of luck

[saraupstairs]

No. I love Billy. If you were my friend, I would ask you to gently and playfully punch my arm. Billy would attack you. Billy is my best friend. Billy has my back.

[Danny_dan92]

Poor billy

[Emmytexrex]

I have seen gay roasters and apes well surprise parrots too what a parody

[saraupstairs]

Billy never spoke a word, but he could do the back half of the wolf whistle. I did the front half. It was a team effort.

[Emmytexrex]

Oh ok

[Pupweb]

I don’t have any experience with a gay bird, but I just wanted comment and say what a silly question lol.

[saraupstairs]

Most all people are stupid.

[Lucy68]

Well I learned something new today

[saraupstairs]

I don't do the bar scene anymore, but it's starting to make sense.

[negrl4a69]

Pick him up and duck him off