What are you thoughts on roadside or vehicle memorials? Is this a NY, regional, national or international thing? Does road maintenance destroy them?

[DrPepper12]

When there's an accident with a fatality some USA Americans create a roadside memorial where their loved one bit the dust.

Vehicle memorials SEEM more nationality / ethnicity / class related by me in NYC with Italian & Hispanic heritage people doing it. Class wise it's a working class thing.

Apparently it's also an entire business model selling crap for a marker.

Is it weird that people would want to memorialize the spot it happened instead of a traditional grave?

Not a thing & it's fucking stupid

Not a thing but it's very thoughtful

It's a thing and it's very thoughtful

It is a thing & it's fucking stupid

Something else...

[WhiteSteve]

There are plenty around me. Sometimes I get morbidly curious and remember the names to look up the obituaries. I don’t know why I do that, haha, it’s a bummer.

One of them, I saw an elderly couple by it, and it’s on a major interstate. I took note of the name and looked it up, and it was a 15 year old girl who died in 1998. The parents must still be visiting to this day. That was pretty sad. Maybe it was a birthday or anniversary of the accident, I should’ve taken note of that. Or maybe just memorial maintenance.

Sometimes if it’s late at night and I’m the only car, I get kind of an eerie chill because I’ll imagine a ghost of the victim being on the side of the road or suddenly in my passenger seat, I think from a scary short film I saw once where someone had a hitchhiker, and then the hitchhiker points out a spot and says “…and that’s where I died”, and suddenly looked all scary. Just gave myself a chill again, lmao. I’m not even a “ghosts” guy, haha, but it crosses my mind.

I’ll see them on the block in rough areas too, presumably from homicides, and they’ll have a bunch of signs and candles and stuffed animals around a telephone pole or streetlight pole.

I don’t know what the timetable is for leaving them up. Mass DOT seems to leave highway ones up for years, and like I said, there’s one that’s pushing 30 years old. Local ones, I feel like those come down within a year, maybe even less. I remember a few fatal accidents involving teenagers in a couple towns, one was working class one was wealthy. I wish I had thought to take note of the time they were up, but in both cases, there were vigils and memorial tributes, etc, they were popular kids in both towns, prominent athletes, etc (don’t drink and drive, and don’t speed, kids…. doesn't matter who you are, anyone can get it). But they definitely don’t remain until this day. My aunt still lives in one of the towns, I’ve driven by the killer telephone pole many-a time and I don’t think anything remains, not a ribbon. That was definitely like 30 years ago.

To end on a positive note, I googled one of the deceased’s names to see if anything from that far back was online, and there was just a “we still remember” Facebook post from a couple years ago by women who look to be about his age. BUT…I remember there was a whole family of them, some cousins, etc, in town, and he looks to have graduated several years ago, but a young man by the same name, at the same high school, seems to have been a top player on both the football and lacrosse teams (legit didn’t know what lacrosse even was when I was in that town, now there’s a high school team…. times change😝). And it’s a pretty uncommon first name, so it’s definitely not a coincidence. Someone in the clan went on and named their kid in his honor, probably would be the kid’s uncle or older cousin. Just found out a pooch I was quite fond of has shuffled off this mortal coil, so that was the feel-good boost I needed today.

[WhiteSteve]

Side note: just saw the memorial decal for the rear window of the car…lots of those around here.

But my last job used to take me to Danbury, Connecticut now and then, which is right next to Newtown, of Sandy Hook infamy. I would go to the ShopRite supermarket there to check my traps, and the parking lot would always have at least one car with a decal of a name and lifespan of 6 or 7 years.

And all I could think about was “I wish Alex Jones would show his fat fucking face here.”

[DryGermanGuy]

Definitely an international thing, we have thousands of roadside crosses in Germany. And an old tradition, too - this one is from a horse carriage accident in 1862:

[Anonymous]

I live in a major city, (read: thousands of deadly accidents), and I wouldn't say they are everywhere, but you definitely notice them. Some guy was run over on a bike right next to a Wal-mart, and there is a bike memorial. It's where you take an old bike, paint it white, and attach it to the spot where the bicyclist died. Unfortunately some a-holes stole the wheels after about a year, but the frame is still there. I looked one of the cross ones up once. It's the closest to my neighborhood. Apparently the guy who died had been drag racing late at night at high speeds, lost control of his car, crashed into the tree (which you can see the damage on still), it ignited the car and him in it, and he died on scene.

I think people still do traditional burials, but this is the last place where their loved one was ever alive, and they want to honor them in a memorialized way. Who am I to tell them, they shouldn't. If it helps them get through their grief, I say have at it.

[TrueConfection]

I have mixed feelings on the roadside memorials. They are for the living only. The dead are not hanging out where they died. If they were around, I would think they’d be hanging out near their loved ones. I suppose it comforts people who have lost a loved one, but when I see those memorials I see someone who is mourning deeply. That being said, some of those are also good reminders to drivers that they are not immortal and they need to slow down.

[TrueConfection]

Thanks for the MHO 🩷

[Shiprex]

You see this quite a lot in Europe on backroads or places where accidents or happen. There's one I pass daily on the way to work where a teenage girl was killed when her friends driving a Mopedbil (small restricted car for teenagers to get around) pulled out in front of a police vehicle on a job and was killed at a corner they still haven't rebuild the wall at. This was 4 years ago and you still see the memorials of candles left lying there and I make an effort to recognise it when I pass. Another one about 300m from me is where a lad was shot dead at a bus stop where you often see a candle left out burning there from loved ones. Loads of memorials where people die are laid out in many European countries.

[Red_Arrow]

It will be seen by many more people if it is roadside than in a cemetery. If it is placed so that it does not block people (or vehicles) and is not on someone's property it will usually not be destroyed. And the only things on them that anybody makes money on is the flowers.

[petitedollbabee]

I see them often here in New Zealand, so it’s definitely international. I think it’s nice, as there’s beliefs that the soul lingers where the death took place. So if you’ve got a loved one who died in an accident by the road, it can be nice to put flowers and loved belongings at that site.

[molonski2]

All over the place in Australia ( never seen one here - Thai ) I think they are pretty stupid , sometimes I look and think " How in the Fck did you hit that tree? " , think they are tacky frankly.

[Nikki1989]

It is very common around here.

[dustybiker2]

The initial thoughts of the family are to protect and remind others. If they are kept up they stay of not I believe the city removes them.

[Dongie]

There are quite a few around here. There was one about 200 yards down from my house but that whole woods area was recently cleared and it's not there at the moment. I've noticed very many were Hispanic or Mexican actually.

[Dongie]

Oh, I respect them.

[Likes2drive]

I see them quite often, eventually they are removed by the town, I’ve seen other states have a cross where people have died in an accident on that part of the road

[exitseven]

If it makes people feel better I do not see the harm.

[NathanDavis]

don't drink and drive...

[DJB72]

It's a thing in South Africa. It's a distraction.

[oldpigg]

In fact, they do that in my country too.

[RedInnocent69]

International, I think

[Anonymous]

I think it's very thoughtful.

[FunkyMonkee]

Who's it hurting?