What does it really mean to “get a life” and how do I start?

[Anonymous]

I mean I really don't have a life, I play some games, I want to travel but not alone.
I wanna do something which I want but again not alone because I am afraid that I might lose a lot of money which I don't have.
Or have a breakdown

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

I guess it just means getting out there and trying new experiences to see what works and what doesn't and form a framework around your personality to build out who you are, use that information to plot a course for your life and work to achieve it. If you can do that then I think you will have found meaning in your life and achieved a goal of getting a life.


PS: What games are you playing and where do you want to travel?

[Asker]

Playing sekiro or elden ring.
I don't know, I haven't gone anywhere. I left my country and am getting isolated.
Looks for a new place as my student accommodation is going to get over.
Also I am not finding new people, one day I am outside in a pub playing snooker and everyone exchanging contacts, and instantly getting ignored online.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

That's rough about being ghosted, im sorry. All I can say is to keep trying and eventually you'll find people to hang out with.

[Asker]

I have been to 4 events, which are free.
Tbh women avoid me completely, guys my ages use me as a therapist, and older people adore me for the differences of opinion.
It's exhausting because it's like I don't belong there, even the social anxiety club completely said"you look too stressed"

[Asker]

I wanted to go to their events more, but I didn't get added to any groups.
(They took my contacts but never added me to any groups or event that has happened 3 times)
Which is again added up to the isolation.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Have you tried making friends online in your local area that share common interests such as elden ring?

[Asker]

Yes it doesn't work they are shy.
I invited them for dinner or a movie

[Asker]

Noone showed up

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

I get that. I dont go out myself but I still hang out online with them but I realize you might be looking for more in person things to do. Yeah unfortunately im really not sure then. Im more of a homebody myself. Hope you find friends to hang out with though

[BadApple69]

By the sounds of it you have no life otherwise no one would tell you to “get a life”.
So what I suggest is start doing things totally different.
Do you volunteer? If not start doing that. Why volunteer? Because volunteers are always needed, you will meet new people and maybe learn some new things. Put down the game controller and joint mankind again.
You’ll be surprised what can come from volunteering. friendships, relationships, job offers and networking.
Good luck man!

[RavVid]

Growth, especially for a man, is building respect for yourself by learning/improving skills/knowledge.

Most people seek affirmation from their partner but that is intrinsically external. It is better if it is intrinsically internal.

I suggest you ask yourself what skill/knowledge do you respect in other men and would respect in yourself?

[Asker]

Those are vastly different, the worst part is the same people react to the same sentence with the same words differently. I get annoyed when that happens. It's like my words aren't any weight. But as soon as someone else says the same thing. It's something to worship.

[Asker]

I have knowledge about random stuff here and there.
With some interesting information, I try to have a good conversation, mostly works.

[RavVid]

I hear what you are saying and have suffered the same. The problem here is seeking validation from others; on a pysch basis people are very good at detecting that and will with hold it.

Especially from men. In tribal societies it was common place to belittle another hunter's kill. It has been going on for long enough to be an evolutionary trait.

I think the appropriate approach is to genuinely not care about what other's think of you which is the opposite of seeking validation. Paradoxically when you stop caring, people are more inclined to weigh your words heavier.

The second key is building self respect in your ability whilst not caring what others think. It imbues gravitas in you.

If you would like to be a leader, first learn to lead yourself to a goal :) :) :)

[RavVid]

Thanks for a mho

[Nikki1989]

Another one for the "why the hell was this posted anonymously" file.

[Asker]

Not everyone is comfortable with their face with their demons.
And if you have a choice to answer questions, you don't have to answer Nikki.
Girls like you are the reason there is discomfort on the platform. Judging everyone, dehumanising everyone

[midnightmoon05]

What are you ashamed off?
By posting with a name is one way to connect … (to get a life)
I read your question and scrolled down… I didn’t see you respond to anyone and was about to move on till here…
Anon - I don’t want to waste time wrong a paragraph, then find out they are no longer here…
So.. if you truly want help… you can follow us, post with a name… maybe we can even be friends…
Do you have a job?
What do you normally do at home to help your family?

[Asker]

I was going to talk to most but people like her annoy the shit out of me.
She is the most rude person on this platform. Look at her answers, all of them are demeaning to someone who Is trying to ask.

[midnightmoon05]

I do t see that. But okay…
So let’s hear from you. What’s your name? You can even switch so you are not anon.

[Asker]

My name's Sam

[slatyb]

You don't need money to get a life. You just need to get moving. What interests you? Have a phone? You could start taking pictures. A pencil? Start drawing. Two feet? Start walking or hiking. Do you eat? Start cooking. Have a keyboard? Start journaling. Maybe post your opinions online.

[midnightmoon05]

Tell me a little about yourself after I get to know your name.

[midnightmoon05]

Sam … if you are not removing anon… I will end this… have a good life. And get a life.

[Asker]

Means?

[Asker]

I understand I like something.
And most people don't like it or find it attractive.
And most people who have similar interests with me are already in love or never want to be in love. And my life is boring from the most standard.
That's what most people mean when people say get a life.
I like simplicity in my life and that simplicity scares or is surprisingly annoying as I am too rational.
I achieved most of my dreams as they were small and easy but one which was love.

[midnightmoon05]

Continue to do what you do for the good of yourself and the good of others. (Your parents). Then go find yourself a girlfriend (if that’s what you want).
Stop listening to others. Remove anon. Switch it back with your user name.
Get a self help book to build your self esteem or watch YouTube.

[Asker]

Lol as soon as I say hello I am ignored or taken as a creep.
No woman give me a chance to even ask for her number

[midnightmoon05]

If that is not working then make some changes.
You are saying the same thing
Still anon…
Bye

[Asker]

You can't remove anon from a asked questions

[midnightmoon05]

Ask another question with your name then link this question. You can also follow me

[Abbycado]

You start by stop being anon coward.

[Bulutsuツ]

It depends on the life you want to live