How do you tell your parents your sibling is doing drugs?

Question

Well my sister is a pothead I wouldn't have as much as a problem about it if she wasn't such a bitch with everyone. Mom suspects her at times and she is kind of in denial and is in shock because she doesn't want to think she is a bad parent. My dad is in denial because she throws tantrums about how they should trust her and let her do more stuff and thinks my mom is over exaggerating. Even though they found her bowl and decided to believe it was a friend's.

I'm just overwhelmed by the whole thing and sick of her tantrums and I know its not going to be pretty. Any help or advice ?

Darkfairie17 · Accepted Answer

Definitely tell them about what is going on. This behavior does happen when someone starts doing stuff. Not necessarily an addiction, but I think people can become addicted to how it makes them feel and addicted to the circumstances surrounding it. People can down arrow me all they want, but I have experienced this kind of stuff first hand. I had a boyfriend who started smoking pot regularly, to the point where it was all the time. And he was very emotionally and verbally abusive. He would be incredibly destructive and selfish. And this was only when he was doing pot. He didn't care about anyone else but himself because all he cared about was getting high.

Since he stopped, he has had much better go at life. He has a job and finished school.

Pot does affect someone's judgement and they can do things and get involved in situations that they are not in the right frame of mind to be dealing with. That can change them, and because their life to get off track. Not everyone experiences this, but your sister is obviously going through something.

The best thing you can do is get her help. Her behavior is unacceptable, throwing tantrums is something a 5 year old should be doing, not someone her age, I'm assuming she is high school age.

Talk to someone at her school, I'm sure they have guidance counsellors, or even find someone in your town to talk to about this. They can give you resources to help get your sister help.

lovelylife · Accepted Answer

It's a tough choice and no one understands your sister or the situation as well as you. Its hard to see someone you care about going down the wrong path. So if you believe that this is what's going on, then you need to speak up. If you don't it may be something you regret latter.

Weed isn't the end of the world but it could be the biggenning to other things. I'm not saying she's doing anything else. But it's a scary thought and one you need to be aware of. So if by telling on her you'll be protecting her. Then you know what you have to do.

I know lots of young adults, that are strung out on drugs and I'm not referring to weed, but I'm sure it started there. Perhaps if everyone in there inner circle wasn't walking around with blinders, these kids wouldn't be in that situation, idk. These kids grew up in good neiborhoods with conservative, influential parents. So it doesn't matter. How much money you have or where you live.

Sometimes we have to make tough choices in life that we don't want to make.

Don't get me wrong, there are millions of pot users that are NOT drug addicts. But I think its fair to say if something is affecting someone's life negatively, then it needs to be confronted.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I was in your position in middle school and high school. I wish I had told my parents, but like your sister mine was a bitch. I admit I was scared of her. That's great that some people can smoke and have no further addiction, but that's not everyone! My sister started out smoking weed only then moved on to harder things over time. After years of drug use, she finally settled in on meth. Not only did she lose her beauty but her mind. She went from a girl who was on the honor role to a girl who suffers from extreme paranoia all the time and is a shell of who she was. She's unable to work because when she does she thinks everyone is "in on it" or is "speaking code" about her. This is after she's been clean for 8 years!

For those who think drugs don't affect anyone but the user, you're wrong. The fall out from her choices still has lasting effects on many people. Not to mention the tax payers! She's on disability because she can't contribute to society and support herself because of her choices!

I realize not every pot smoker turns out this way, but how do you know until it's too late? Telling my parents may not have made any difference at all...but then I wouldn't have to wonder later if it would have!

themastaplan · Accepted Answer

lets start by saying this...

no one likes a snitch, esp if its a sibling...if she has a problem and is addicted, which I personally don't think you can be to pot, then you should arise the issue...

another thing to think about is POT is NOT the reason for these tantrums...pot would do the exact opposite actually lol

the whole bowl thing, yeah I've used it before...then I got to the point where I said f*** it, my parents are gonna know I smoke and they can't do sh*t about it...they really cant...they can tell me how they feel about it and what they think, but I am my own person and I'm gonna do what I want...more so if my parents tell me not to...

back to my point number one...

no one likes a snitch, let her do her own thing, ignore her tantrums - they aren't your business

rotarymoon · Accepted Answer

Just tell them straight out. Tell them why she needs to stop and have a conversation with your little sister. She is more likely to talk to you about it ( I think).

Anonymous · Answer

This is sad. OK first of all many people on here, mostly gringos, aren't going to understand the Hispanic culture so I'm gonna tell you what I think you should do from my own perspective. Hispanic parents are not equipped to deal with the rebellion that their kids pick up from the Americanized culture. It is up to the siblings to pretty much slap the sh*t out of each other because if you grew up in this culture then you are the only one who understands what is going on. You care for your sister obviously despite her being such a bitch. You want her to grow up to appreciate your parents at least. The gringos may have a problem with this because they don't have such a strong family bond as much as we do. If you tell your parents the only thing that is going to happen is they will worry more and try to lock her up even more, which will make her rebel even more. You are pretty much responsible for making her feel as sh*tty as possible. Use guilt trips, scare her with stories about her future, and if you ever see her disrespecting your parents always defend them against her.  When she yells at parents, you command her to watch her attitude or else. Be firm, tough, and scary.

alliebeatbama · Answer

You have a lot of good suggestions for ways to tell them on here. My brother was a pothead from the time he was 13 and I never wanted to betray his trust so I didn't tell my parents. I wish I had told them though because 5 years later my brother has wasted all his potential and cares more about getting drunk and high than his own family. Whatever you do, TELL THEM! You want to avoid the regret and responsibility you might feel if your sister's life turns out less than ideally because pot made her lazy. You might want to make sure you get your parent's assurance that they won't tell your sister that you told them if order to maintain a semi-friendly relationship with your sister.

snowboarder720 · Answer

I think it's something you should let it work out itself. These kinds of things I figure it's best to not get involved. Its best to not be a tattle and nark your sister, however I think you and her need to have a serious talk.

Have her know the consequences of being caught. Weed costed me about $3,000 in fines/court charges/counseling. It honestly wasn't worth it. As long as it doesn't take over your life, I don't see a problem with it. I actually started college when I was not only using, but dealing too. Although I wouldn't recommend to anyone to do the same.

Just have a sister/sister bond moment, and bring up the subject of her use. See what she has to say about it, ya know? My sister is a BIG pothead but I don't have any problem with it. It really depends on the use and where she's going with her life.

hoped that helped.

Sayaka1202 · Answer

I wouldn't bother telling your parents, if they haven't worked it out, they probably don't want to know. Some people have crappy siblings, there is nothing you can do to change that. Let her be her way, probably if you want, have less to do with her. If you tell them about the drugs then probably your parents will pity her more, it won't work out how you intend it to, and it would probably because more harm than good. If they ever ask about her doing drugs tell them, but don't make an active decision to do so.

miramiraonthewall · Answer

i don't have a problem with drugs, so unless I see that they are developing an addiction or problem, I wouldn't feel the need to tell my parents. then again, I'm an adult. I'm not sure I would tell if I were a teen, but I might. I'm not a whiney, spiteful little suck up though so my sister getting on my nerves wouldn't be the deciding factor. personal preference though. just saying

then again I'm an only child so perhaps I just never saw the point in childish "mom! mom! look what jane is doing! get her!" antics, at least not past my own kiddy tantrum years.

im pretty blunt, so id just sit them down and tell them most likely but I might also ask them in a hypothetical sense how they would feel about it and then say "i think so and so has a problem"

i don't think there's a magical secret to telling your parents that their kid is a junkie. its going to have the same affect generally

significant_girl · Answer

Weed has some addictive properties. You admitted that yourself by saying it "isn't that addictive", so it seems like you understand there are some very real consequences to her long-term use.

I think you need to sit down with your parents and be bluntly honest. Let them know that most kids experiment with drugs and alcohol. However, if you notice that her schooling/friends/mood changes drastically, and is putting her in a dangerous position, then perhaps it's time to figure out how to talk to her.

Do your parents enable her to do drugs? Do they give her money or a car to go out? Perhaps putting some limitations on those things would help.

Shinygirl · Answer

I myself am a potsmoker. But my mom had to hear things through the grapevine. It doesn't bother her so much now as it did in the begining. But I think what hurt her the most is she had to hear it from someone else and not me. And it hurt me that I wasn't the one to tell her. I don't know about your parents but I'm sure they would rather hear it from you or your sister than anyone else. Maybe try to talk your sister into telling them. And if she won't, just make sure she knows that you are going to tell them (and don't let her blackmail you out of it). Either way they need to find out somehow. And parents are VERY good at finding things out.

biggestbossthusfar · Answer

You have a loyalty to your sister and don't want to hurt your parents but if you don't say something do something about it somthing may happen that could be prevented like the cops busting her then she will really have a hard way to go . possibly the rest of her life like my brother has he is 42 and just got out of jail for the 25th time. Y ou don't even have to rat her out just take her stash and put it where your dad or mom will find it like in her room ,or her jacket pocket or something. I agree with you though if it was legal I'd smoke it every day

heavenonearth · Answer

Tell her to shape up and behave or you'll tell. Seems harsh and "tattle-tale" like, but I have a younger sibling who thinks he can be rude and do whatever he wants without consequences, and trust me, she's going to keep being a bitch until someone stands up to her (which your parents clearly aren't doing).

_Kyle · Answer

"Hey parents, I'm sure you must have suspected by now, and since I think you don't want to believe it I'm going to straight up tell you that my sister is smoking pot and has been for awhile, I don't like the kind of person she's becoming and its worrying me. I care about her and I don't want her doing this. Do something about it." Just be real.

beerY33 · Answer

It's not that big of a deal to smoke pot and it's not your responsibility to tell them anything. Sounds like they probably already know anyway. Maybe they're not dealing with it like you would want them to, but you really don't need to get involved here.

Black_Swan_12 · Answer

I don't think it would be wise to tell your parents. Is she your younger sister?

IMO she's your responsibility in this issue. Is she a loner or does she smoke with friends? Telling your parents will just burden them and they probably won't be very understanding and panic. Best thing to is keep confronting her about it but as a friend, not from an authoritative point. The key is providing her with knowledge and communicating effectively.

Anonymous · Answer

First of all, wow I can't believe that there are actually little younger sisters like you out there. Leave her alone! WTF?! like seriously. If it's affecting her than it's affecting her only. Sometimes you gotta realize that if she's harming someone or something than it'll come back and get her in due time. No need to be a little fricken annoying person and turn her in like that. Go on with your own life. That's just ridiculous. And one day, I'm sure you'll find yourself wanting to explore like she is with weed...maybe when you grow up a bit. WEED is not a drug, it's an herb. It's good for many things and as long as you aren't abusing it, like being lazy with it or only smoking when you're done with everything for the day than you're good. This isn't your concern so just back out!

farfromtheusual · Answer

ummm bein a bitch while on pot? doesn't make sense. pot mellows you out & makes you chill af'. ask around & ask her to find out if she's doin more. have a serious conversation with her, let her know you're worried & really care bout her & you just want to help her.  if its just pot then don't rat your sister out if its more then you need to tell them to get her help.

aly-marie · Answer

It doesn't seem like it's the weed at all, so there's no point in telling on her. Parents can tell anyway, they'd probably just rather not face it. But they need to start taking charge and stop letting her act like a spoiled brat.

It seems like she's just taking them for granted. How old is she? Maybe they should think about kicking her out. Either way, it's not your problem. She probably won't listen to you.

ShootingStar5 · Answer

The pot would probably only help her anger issues. I don't think telling on her would solve that particular problem, maybe just make it worse. You should instead consider talking to your parents about having her go to therapy. Or just discipline her...

AmberChick · Answer

They probably already know but don't want to make a big deal about it like your dad says. Just let them deal with it and when it starts affecting you is when you should speak up... don't rat out your sister just tell your parents how it's making you feel so they can understand how you fit in also

koolit6 · Answer

Tell them calmly. Tell them the truth about what you know and if they don't believe you well what more can you do. Don't get mad that they don't. I don't know what will happen if they don't but at least you tried. If they believe you lets hope your sister doesn't run away or something and learns that it's only weed.

TimePhantom · Answer

Do you care if she knows that you told on her?  It depends how much you like your sister.  If you do like her then I would approach her first and say that you know and threaten to tell on her if she doesn't quit or act better.  Or just straight up tell your parents, but I would make sure you have some proof because as you mentioned they are trying not to believe it.

SalsaShark9 · Answer

Weed isn't a drug and is ostensibly no more of a problem than coffee, which has many more negative physiological and psychological side-effects. And does contain actual drugs. Being "hyped up on coffee" is much more of a threat than smoking weed.

One day people will realize how harmless weed is. I mean seriously, you can get sh-t 387757465897x worse for you in your local pharmacy. Ever wonder what's in your cough syrup?

How do you tell your parents your sibling is doing drugs?

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