Should I tell my parents that my sister is smoking?

[Anonymous]

I caught my sister (she's 12 and I'm 15) smoking with her friends (they were smoking too). My sister begged me not to anyone. My parents kill her if they knew and me for not telling them first. I'm going feel bad if she gets heart cancer or something. Should I tell my parents?

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My parents caught my sis smoking now she's mad at me because they'll making her quit and also because she thinks I told them which I didn't but I did tell them to go to her hang out early and pick her up. She's having bad mood swings tho.

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It was after school. My sister's middel school is close to my high school. When I saw she smoking again with her friend. When her friend left I came grab the cancer stick from her and stomp to the ground and called my mom and dad.

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Now she's grounded for a week. She won't talk to me at. what do I do?

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I was babysiting my sister (my parents don't turst her anymore). I didn't really have a problem with it. She said needed fresh air so I let her go out but she had to stay close to the house. 15 mintunes later I went check on her and she

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was smoking a cigarette again with her friend who lives very close to us (the same one I saw at her middle school). This time I didn't that her friend there or not, when out grab the death stick stomp it

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to the ground and yelled at her and her friend. Then she call me a controlling bitch and went off with her bud. I immediately called my parents. Now she's grounded until christmas eve. I am being to controlling?

[DeanW]

I don't think so. You caught her smoking but that doesn't automatically make you responsible for making parental decisions or having to establish long term guidelines for her behavior. I think you should advise her that it's a bad idea to be smoking and that she is looking at potential trouble from both the cigarettes and from the kind of crowd that she's hanging out with. But if you go to your parents you're not only placing an unfair burden on yourself (it's their role to be sharp and attentive to these kind of things) but you also risk burning the bridge between you and her for something more important down the road.

If she's dumb enough to start smoking at 12 then she's certainly dumb enough to do something worse at 14. Don't burn her trust on small potatoes - make yourself ready, reliable and available for the big stuff.

[gotc147]

It's a common misconception about this law. the law states that those under the age of 18 cannot PURCHASE ciggarettes or other smoking items, it's not illegal for them to actually smoke.

That doesn't mean it's a good idea to take up the habit. Smoking has more effects on a persons health than most realize, cancer is one of them but it also stunts growth and spikes the aging process, meaning you feel the effects of aging (less energy, weakening muscles and even memory loss) sooner.

Leave her alone for now and do some research on this, then once she lets you talk to her again show her these effects, it may be a scare tactic but at the very least you're warning her.

[gotc147]

Absolutly not, you're not being controlling at all, you're doing the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Yes. You have to. Starting at 12! Are you kidding!?!?! By not telling, you actually helping KILL your sister! I'm really sorry but to me smoking is one of the worst things you can possible do, so sorry if I sound harsh. But you basically saw your sister commit a slow act of suicide and you're asking if you should ignore it?!?!

You have to tell your parents and get your sister some emotional help. Your parents can confront her and they can say that they smelled the smoke on her or something. Your sister doesn't have to know you told on her, but its very that you tell. If she's doing this at 12 she's going to end up doing worse things later in life. You need to help your sister.

[ggazelles]

They need to know, but your sister doesn't need to know that you're the one who told them.

Sit down with them and tell them that there's something they need to know, but your sister cannot find out that you're the one who clued them in. Tell your parents what you saw, and ask them to find a way to confront your sister without bringing you into it. They could say they found cigs in her room or smelled them on her; that's a surefire way to get her the discipline she needs without destroying the relationship you two have. Good luck.

[mountain-girl]

Yes, tell your parents, but ask them, for the sake of the relationship with your sister that they don't let her know they heard it from you. You are the older sister and hopefully, if she finds out that you told, she will understand you did it to protect her. 12 years old is WAY to young.

[ALWAYSclassy]

I think you should ask her to stop doing it first, but if you find out that she doesn't quit on her own, then tell your parents. If she is smoking at that young age there is a high chance she could get addicted and smoke the rest of her life and I know you guys don't want that!

[wally]

leave her alone for a while because she's mad and kids at this age don't understand what good for them and you'r a grown up at least for her , she'll calm down after couple days , but again you should tell you'r parents before the caught her , anyway I'm sure you'r parents will be wise in dealing with her .

[Jarett]

I would tell her that she needs to stop or else you will tell on her. Tell her that you don't want to get her in trouble, but that you care about her, and don't want her to do stuff that will harm her and put her down the wrong path. So I would give her an ultimatum. Either stop smoking, or you will go to your parents.

[martyfellow]

Yes, she's a child and you need to tell your parents. It's for her own good. Whatever they do to her is better than her getting really addicted to cigarettes. Sure she'll be mad at you for a while but she's still a child and she'll eventually thank you for it!

[Hercules]

Jarret is absolutely right. Give her an ultimatum. Fiercely tell her what will happen to her if she continues down this path (drugs, alcohol, sex, etc) and make it known if she ever engages in any of those things again that you'll tell your parents instantly.

[Hercules]

Don't kiss up to her, you didn't do anything wrong. Just keep being yourself until SHE is ready to grow up and talk to YOU.

[ggazelles]

She's probably having mood swings because she's suffering withdrawal from her addiction. While not as bad as withdrawal from drugs or alcohol, nicotine withdrawal can hugely affect a person's mood and anxiety levels.

[wally]

Of course she'll do this but you have a responsibility towards this situation to keep treating her right and try to be more understaning because you'r older and she'll always look at you

as a role model for her .

[Hercules]

No. You are not being controlling. That's like murdering someone, having a policeman arrest you for it, and then calling him a controlling bitch. The fact she broke the law doesn't change ANYTHING.

[wally]

Tell you'r parents right away they need to know about this .

[Nut-Meg1453]

TELL ON HER she's 12. you are right she might get canncer at such a youger age. And if your worried about getting in trouble with your parents TELL ON HER.

[Anonymous]

ouch, that's a hard one.

if she's smoking already and she's only twelve, imagine what she'll be doing in a couple years.

i think you should tell them, but tell them to try and catch her themselves somehow so you don't completely loose her trust.

[ggazelles]

She'll get over it. Let her sulk.

[wally]

you did the right thing .