My boyfriend gets mad when I tell him I miss him? Why's that?

[Anonymous]

I'm entirely confused. I never mean to offend him, but for some odd reason he gets really offended or mad or something when I tell him that I miss him. It makes me feel really rejected. It's not that I need to be around him or see him all the time, I just like him a lot. I am just trying to flatter him... I even told him that and he gave me this whole "I can't change" speech. Change what though? I have no idea what he's talking about. I think he's looking into it way too much.

[JohnScofield]

I think you are right. Maybe he feels guilty that he can't see you more, so he is interpreting this as you picking on him, not just telling him how you feels.

Guys can do that at times... I remember a similar situation when I did something to someone who was just trying to tell me she cared. I wish I had a good answer how to get through his head... Maybe he needs space, maybe he is an idiot like I was...

[Asker]

Yeah, I think he does. I think he's looking into it way too much though. I definitely don't mean that. We are both really busy people and that's okay. I could potentially be a little socially awkward lol. should I just give him space then? we barely texted at all today and I was really happy/fine with it... and then he called me and I was trying to be all cute and be like "I miss you!" and he was like that really makes me feel weird when you say that, but we can talk about it Wednesday.

[JohnScofield]

Just talk to him about. Ask him why it makes him feel weird. It shouldn't really.

[Asker]

he said we could talk about it in person Wednesday and he doesn't want to talk about it now. wtf is up with that?

[JohnScofield]

Well be patient... and talk to him in person about it. Maybe there is something more to this that he needs to talk to you about. I am sure you are thinking he wants to break up with me, and maybe he does... but you don't know, so play it cool until the two of you can talk. You don't know what he wants to talk about...

[Asker]

huh yeah, idk, I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to break up. I think he'd almost put a ring on my finger now if he could... but he knows he shouldn't so it won't lol. I think he's just being a d*** and being dumb and oversensitive haha. I thought my job was to be the oversensitive one in the relationship? haha

[JohnScofield]

Not every man is stoic, etc. Hell it seems these days few men are...

[Asker]

hm yeah, but he's incredibly stoic about other things. it's very confusing.

[NMMan]

What is his problem? He doesn't have to get all mushy in return, but he just can't acknowledge or appreciate that you took the time to think of him? And then gives you some speech about "I can't change"? F***that.

[Asker]

right? You'd think a 22 year old guy would be able to figure that out. he said it makes him feel "weird." and yet the boy buys me jewelery and takes care of me when I'm sick? What IS his problem? I don't get it... maybe he's worried that it means I want him around more? except that's not what I meant at all.

[NMMan]

It sounds like he's either not in touch with his feelings or just doesn't know how to show affection. And it's a bad sign in either case.

[Asker]

hm. idk. how can I help him?

[NMMan]

Perhaps tell him that you're telling him these things not to hurt or offend him, but because you care about him and enjoy his company. If he still puts up his whole wall in response to that, then I honestly have no idea how to get through to him.

[Asker]

hm yeah. I guess I'll try. I think he thinks I'm just being needy or something. He knows he's busy and I know he's busy... I'm busy too! but I think he thinks I want him around more... which is not what I'm saying haha. there was no implied under message there lol. boys... so sensitive!