My boyfriend said I'm not the hottest girl he's been with, should this bother me?

Question

I made the mistake asking my boyfriend of almost five years if I was the hottest girl he's been with. I just expected him to say yes.turns out I'm the 4th hottest. It's really getting to me. Should I just be happy I'm 4th hottest? He said he's sorry. But it's still bothering me.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

This is why we don't ask questions about something if we might not like the answer.  Why why why would you ask something like that?  It's like needing to know how many people they've slept with, what she did great in bed, what she did bad, different intimate stoires, etc . . What good could possibly come from it?  Although I'd like to think I'm the best he's been with and yada yada, that's probably not very likely.  All I can do is try my best to keep things interesting and fun for us in the bedroom.  The best part about never asking stupid questions, is that I can let myself create my own answer.  When it comes down to it, I'd rather not know . . . I'm jealous the way it is, why put fuel on the fire?  You brought this one on yourself and you're going to have to deal, hopefully the experience will keep you from doing this again.

toulouse · Accepted Answer

u shouldn't ask questions if you're expecting a particular answer. that means you're not ready to hear an actual answer. just a flattery.

anyways he can think you're not physically the hottest but still be most in love with u. it doesn't mean he cares for you forth. its just a physical thing.

still he's a dummy for saying that, but its a silly question. and its a unreasonable expectation/. a yes. you don't ask questions wherein you think you know the proper answer. imo.

UberTroll · Accepted Answer

This is one of those questions that should never be asked, unless you're prepared to hear and accept an answer you don't like. But even then, what do you really stand to gain from asking such a question?

Don't worry about being the 4th hottest, he's stayed with you for 5 years for a reason. If I were you, I'd be happy that he was honest with you. At least you know he's not saying anything just to make you happy.

vmw2008 · Accepted Answer

It probably wasn't smart to ask, but it definitely wasn't smart of him to answer like that either. 4th hottest? I think it's safe to say that if you told him he was the 4th biggest penis, or 4th best in bed you'd ever had, he'd be outraged. Sometimes we need reassurance on those things, and when you really love a person, they are the hottest/biggest/best in your eyes.

animalwithin · Accepted Answer

Wait, he rated you on a f***in hotness scale and said you were fourth? I'm sorry but it's douhebags a**holes like your boyfriend who make me hate guys. You've been his girlfriend for almost 5 years and he's slotted you below past girls he's been with, he might as well have said he settled for you. I might be overreacting, and I've dated some attractive girls and some "average" but they were all beautiful to me in some unique way; people should never be compared. On the one hand I'd be really pissed as is Indicative of my rant, but on the other hand he has been with you for almost five years so he obviously cares for you very much. The way he answered it is disrespectful but at his point you have to love with it. Don't let it get to you as he's been with you all these years for a reason.

kholland65 · Accepted Answer

While I'll admit, your Boyfriend is a dipsh*t for saying that, I wouldn't worry about it.

Not everyone can be the hottest person we've ever been with, nor can they be the hottest person around.

I'll be the first to admit that many of my GF's were not drop dead gorgeous. My first and only love was also only what I would rate about a 6-7 out of 10. She was average. But I still loved her. Contrary to popular belief guys do care about more than just looks. Just because you don't look like a super model doesn't mean we're going to kick you to the curb. If you weren't attractive enough to him he wouldn't be with you.

Again, I'm not an advocate of lying, but this is one of those situations when you just say "yes dear, you look great dear" lol.

MrWhiteGuy420 · Answer

Lmfao, I just commented on another post of what not to say to your girl or you'll end up alone or in the dog house. He was being honest with you. Where he went wrong: he didn't stop and think before he spoke! He should have thought those other women are in the past and the woman in front of me is my love whom I'm very attracted to, so yes I've dated pretty girls but you babe are my favorite! Instead he cared more about his ego and hurt your feelings. My advice to you is rip him a new a**hole! Make him work to get back with you and don't take him back until he admits you're the hottest woman he's ever seen and he better mean it! Go give his little honest ass hell!

Nixalot · Answer

You were fishing and caught some of that truth. Everyone, don't ask questions unless you want the truth! Just like why guys shouldn't ask "Am I the biggest or the best in bed or the best in shape?". Fishing is wrong and if you wanted him to lie you are basically giving him the okay to start lying to you. Captain Obvious would say : "Don't ask questions you when you aren't prepared for the answer".

On the other side of your question though, no you shouldn't be bothered by this. Like some of the others said, he is with you so you really shouldn't care. There are obviously things that he likes about you a lot more than his exes which mean in the grande scheme you may be physically less attractive but are much more desirable to him due to other aspects. Also, its kind of weird to be asking that after 5 years. That is usually the kind of questions asked in the first couple months.

Anonymous · Answer

Next time your out with him and you see some attractive guy, casually say to yourself, but so he can hear "Now why can't I ever get a guy like that".

Your boyfriend is a moron & no matter what he thinks, he should have told you that you are the most attractive girl he's ever been with. Your his G/F & he "should" be making you feel special always, regardless.

Now that you know he's an inconsiderate d*** & full of himself, don't ask him anymore questions. Better yet, get rid of that piece of work for some guy who does think your #1.

realistic · Answer

he rates you?... erm.. yeah that just sounds a little harsh honestly but if he has been with you for 5 years he should love you right? >.>

anyway just don't let little things get to you like that, especially if you invested 5 years of your time with that guy, take it easy and toss it over your shoulder, but I personally would never rate people primarily because I start to feel like a commodity rather then an actual human being with feelings, regardless just forget about it, or better yet don't, take note of what he starts saying to you in case of future arguments.

stubbsy · Answer

If he thinks that he has settled for 4th best from his past girlfriends, then what's he doing with you, and why put up with it for 5 years, to me he is trying to make you jealous, because to me, for a guy to be with a girl for 5 years, he's going to have to feel that she is pretty unique and pretty awesome, so don't worry about where he put you, he knows your the best thing that happened to him regardless of what he said,x

Anonymous · Answer

Don't ask questions that you don't really want answered - it's not rocket science, but it does seem impossible for girls...

It shouldn't bother you - he's with you, not them. Looks aren't everything.

Or are you so shallow that you think looks are all you can offer him?

Anonymous · Answer

LADIES: do NOT ask this type of question if you are not prepared to hear the answer. It puts BOTH of you in a bad position. It's always just better not to ask.

QA: just take comfort in the fact that he's with you for a reason. He obviously finds you hot and appreciates you for who you are.

Jaden69 · Answer

You can't expect to ask such questions and expect the perfect response back. Anyways it's like asking your girlfriend/boyfriend how many people did they have sex with in the past. And if they say an amount that is more than yours, then you'd be upset, yet if yours was more you wouldn't mind. Regardless he's been with you for almost 5 years, if he's faithful and hasn't cheated on you before, that means he truly loves you for who you are not your "hottness" rank.

PhilaPenn · Answer

This is a question you can't ask. You don't have any grounds to be upset with any answer he gives. I hate when girls ask compliment fishing questions like this. It's just insecure and it stresses a relationship.

KingsOfleon88 · Answer

Who cares? Maybe your personality is killer, and he loves you for that. He's obviously attracted to you physically, or else he wouldn't be with you.

MyNameIsJonas · Answer

Maybe you should have ask if you wanted an honest answer. If your confident in what you two have then just put it behind you. If it really bothers you find someone else.

Ruskayo · Answer

Learnt lesson: Never ever ask that kind of question again. They are like a double-edged sword, more likely to hurt you than to the counterpart.

celestialdaeva · Answer

It can bother you if you want it to.  But it's your issue, not his.  You can't be mad at him for it

peace-love-couture · Answer

Yes, you should be happy considering he's still with you And don't ask those typs of questions. You put yourself(and him) in an awkward position

JohnBelluci · Answer

" I just expected him to say yes"  ---> LoL... get over yourself.

MyUsernameRules · Answer

You should be happy he's being honest. It's just looks, personality wise I'm sure he finds you the best which is why he's with you.

SixStringSeal · Answer

He's being honest but STILL inconsiderate. What an arse... That was a dumb thing to say.

Koldhearted · Answer

Dont ask a question if you don't want to hear the truth.  That's like asking "does this make me look fat" when the answer is obviously yes

SwissCheeze · Answer

Only a jerk would call his current girl friend ugly.   Dump him he's probably cheating or is gonna cheat on you.

Anonymous · Answer

Wow what a jackass. That would bother me to no end and make me extremely hurt and insecure

MarshallWalter · Answer

yeah, nothing bad ever came from putting a guy on the spot,  you just have to deal with it.

shiller · Answer

Be thankful that he was honest. Don't ask questions you can't handle answers to.

Moloch · Answer

He's just being honest. What's wrong with being honest?

Anonymous · Answer

You shouldn't have asked, and he shouldn't have answered. Questions like that are traps and answering is ALWAYS dangerous.

red324 · Answer

He shouldn't have said that and you really shouldn't have asked that cause it doesn't really matter.

Anonymous · Answer

How old are you? You need to see the important things in life and also your boyfriend is a dummy with a dumb mouth

ksysoup · Answer

tell him the same - that he is not the hottest guy you dated

Anonymous · Answer

Just accept the truth..it doesn't mean he's going to leave you. what important is that he loves you and no one can compare with that.

GreatBuy · Answer

Isn't honesty what women are always asking for?

rocksongwriter · Answer

Congrats!  You made the Top 5!

zolly9999 · Answer

Wow . Id leave I don't like being settled for...

My boyfriend said I'm not the hottest girl he's been with, should this bother me?

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