What are your thoughts on eye contact with the opposite sex?

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

I'm always hearing how girls like when you make eye contact because it shows that there's a connection between them and the guy. What does it mean when a girl breaks eye contact? Do you find it attractive? Do you find it awkward? Does it mean something if a girl won't make eye contact with you or keeps on repeatedly breaking it? Please share your input and thoughts.

It's a bit attractive.

Doesn't phase me.

It's pretty awkward.

Updates

+1 y

Would you guys consider someone staring if they held eye contact throughout the whole conversation? What's the difference between staring and justkeeping really good eye contact throughout the whole conversation?

[lumos]

I think it's really nice to not have to say a word and let your eyes do the talking. Long eye contacts might be pretty awkward if they're unwanted. Shy girls and guys are known for avoiding eye contact too simply because they're shy. Even I can feel slightly awkward if I remain eye contact for a longer period of time. But it's a good kind of awkward, especially if I'm looking into my crush's eyes. He's great at remaining eye contact, and actually, he's the one who made me more comfortable with long eye contact. I don't know, there's just something sexy and intimate about looking deeply into another person's eyes without having to say a word. It's a moment that only you two share, and that only you two experience together. It's great. It's awkward. It's sexy. Simply perfect, if wanted, that is.

If someone doesn't want to make eye contact or keeps breaking it quickly, it can mean a lot of things. More often than not, it's simply an indicator that the person is shy. But of course, it can also be a sign of disinterest. It simply depends on the person and the situation.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

I really like this answer.

[lumos]

Thanks! And @ update: I think it's good to break eye contact once in a while during a conversation. It would become too intense if the person I was talking to never let his/her gaze wander even once. But I wouldn't really call it staring. I think staring is mostly about looking at someone who can't see you or doesn't notice it. I also think that you can stare at someone inbetween conversations, like during a moment of silence. But again, staring is more intense than simple eye contact.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

Great answer again. I'm going to have a tough time picking BA. You and Confucius have made it tough on me.

[Confucius16]

How about this? Since @oppaoppa has more up votes than me, she can get BA.

I won't get mad if you don't choose me. @oppaoppa covered some of what I didn't cover. It's up to you, QA. I won't be worried over this.

[lumos]

Aw, thanks! And whoever you choose is fine, doesn't matter to me. :)

[Confucius16]

I believe in being a gentleman and not contending, and you do have a good answer, so I'm not kissing up or anything. May the best answerer succed.

[lumos]

Haha! I feel like we should be shaking hands or something now. May the odds be ever in your favor, Confucius16.

[Confucius16]

You too. As for his update, I think that's why we have to look in between the eyes. I think if someone thinks we're staring, it doesn't matter, because we can't control what other people think. If they're wrong, then they're entitled to their wrong views.

[LizTheWeirdKid]

Well its not attractive or unattractive. I voted C because eye contact makes me feel awkward because I'm shy. If the guy makes me nervous, I will constantly look down and won't look at him in the eye. If I'm comfortable around him, I can hold eye contact for a little while longer.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

When you say he makes you nervous, does that just mean that you have an attraction towards him or what are some other ways he may make you nervous or cause you to break eye contact?

[LizTheWeirdKid]

Yeah I usually get nervous if I like the guy or think he's attractive. Usually ill smile a bit and look down. If I don't feel anything for the guy, I'll make eye contact like I do with everyone else. Or if I don't want to talk to the guy, I look to the side and probably won't be so smiley.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

Those seem like appropriate responses.

[Anonymous]

i personally can't hold eye contact when I'm really shy and nervous, even with the guy I like, but if I like him a lot and I notice he is trying to look into my eyes I will try my best to hold it too, its like your brain signals signaling each other you like each other...

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

I've gotten really good at holding eye contact, I'm a bit intimidated by my team lead at work and I'm usually the one to break eye contact, she can hold it like a boss. No pun intended.

[Anonymous]

I normally avoid making eye contact because I'm hard of hearing so I tend to focus on their lips so if I don't hear something they say clearly enough, I can fall back on reading their lips. Which tends to happen quite a bit unless they're a loud and clear speaker. I have tried making eye contact before, but I find myself hearing about 30% of what they are saying and thus making the conversation kind of awkward since I don't really know what "our" conversation is even about. If a girl is repeatedly breaking eye contact, that sounds like she's really shy, if she does it once and doesn't make eye contact again, she might be uninterested in the fella, or maybe finds the conversation a tad boring and begins to day dream a bit.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

That also makes sense. I'd guess if she kept on trying to make eye contact but kept looking away after a couple of seconds it at least shows she's interested and she's attempting to hold eye contact. Thanks for the answer, man.

[Confucius16]

See, when women talk to each other, they usually establish eye contact to signify that they are listening. Guys don't establish eye contact as much when they're talking to each other. So when guys talk to women, if they don't establish eye contact, women don't think the guys are listening.

I heard that the best place to look when you're looking at someone is to look between the eyes. Then it looks like you're paying attention. However, I find that if I establish eye contact for too long, I feel like I'm staring.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

That's very true. I find myself holding eye contact much less with other guys. I guess it's because I find it a bit more of an intimate thing that I only really want to do with girls. Good answer, man.

[Confucius16]

Thanks. We need to understand gender differences, so that when we talk to women, they won't think that we're not listening. So we need to have more eye contact with women.

During conversations, we can't look around too much, because that isn't respectful. But sometimes, we can look at places that are acceptable. Like, for example, we can look up at the sky, nod, and say "hm, that's an idea". It's like we just had a moment of insight. These are good chances to look elsewhere briefly.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

I'll be sure to do all of this whenever making eye contact now. You have some great advice, it's going to be hard to pick BA now.

[Confucius16]

Yeah, @oppaoppa covered some things I didn't cover. Choose her. She has more upvotes than me anyways. She's right though. Eye contact between couples is different. It is good to have lots of eye contact with a significant other, and even shy people can do this.

[WoIIie]

A girl who seems to be blatantly avoiding eye contact with me can be cute, because let's face it... I'm kind of a big deal. If a girl isn't looking for the right reason, then she's looking for the wrong reason. Nobody simply fails to notice my existence.

Avoiding eye contact either means shy or strongly disinterested/angry towards me. Shy is cute if she isn't too dodgy. If she's avoiding me out of spite, its because I made her hate me and quite frankly I wouldn't look her in the eye either because I don't care about her.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

Nice one, Stitch.

[Anonymous]

I usually make eye contact with women, mainly to show respect.

However, I can tell by her eyes what she is trying to say. If she maintians contact the whole time she is VERY interested in what you have to say. Occasional short breaks in contact means she is listening but something else it fighting for her attention. If she barely makes any eye contact at all she is NOT interested and wants you to leave.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

This sounds pretty reasonable to me.

[Gawesome]

Here's a lesson in socializing 101. Usually when you talk to a person one on one, you look at them to show that you're interested. If you're looking all over the place but the person, you're either shy, bored, or have no interest. With that being said, I seduce girls with my puppy dog eyes. :D

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

Do you activate your puppy dog eyes at certain times or are they always on?

[Gawesome]

always on. make sure you smile too! :)

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

I'll be sure to do that, Bro-basaur.

[Distant]

Breaking eye contact means:

1) Uncomfortable

2) Shy

3) Not interested

From my experience, girls who establish eye contact and repeatedly break it while returning to your eyes means that they are nervous or shy.

[BlueSJ]

This. ^-^

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

That's pretty good, I was just curious because there's some girls that I talk to at work that break eye contact whenever I'm trying to hold it and then from then on I start breaking eye contact during our conversations because I feel like they don't want to talk to me or find it weird or something.

[kangaru]

yes you are right

[Anonymous]

It took me months of us dating for me to be able to keep eye contact with my boyfriend for longer than .3 seconds at a time. For some reason eye contact makes me extremely uncomfortable and panicky feeling so I have to look away. I think I'm just too shy for it.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

Do you think your boyfriend thinks anything of it if you keep on breaking eye contact?

[Opinion Owner]

Oh it definitely added to some problems we had when we first started dating, I'm really bad at opening up so he definitely had concerns about what my feelings towards him were. Fortunately, he's really patient and understanding and we were able to work through those problems together. I think he still wishes I could be more open with him but its definitely 1000s of times better than when we first started dating a year and a half ago

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

So he wasn't sure if you really liked him because you couldn't keep or make eye contact with him?

[Opinion Owner]

Essentially, it boiled down to the fact he was baring his soul to me and I still had a pretty massive wall up. He felt like I didn't trust him or something. It wasn't only because of the eye contact. My problem with eye contact is just a symptom of a bigger problem.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

Ah, okay. I guess making eye contact really does have to do with confidence and how comfortable you are with that person or with yourself. Well that's just my opinion.

[Anonymous]

I personally have always been a huge eye contact person, so in regards to if I like a guy, I'll definitely, I guess you can say "seductively" stare into his eyes aha but that's if I know the person, not if it's just some random hot guy I happen to see in aisle 4 at Walmart. It's pretty awkward if you don't know the person, but subtle glances could never hurt.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

Say that random guy in aisle 4 approached you and was trying to hold eye contact with you. Would you break it from being nervous or what would be your approach?

[Opinion Owner]

I mean if he approached me, he wouldn't be so random after all, I mean yeah I don't know the dude, but if he's actually trying to initiate some sort of conversation, then sure why not. I don't see the reason to actually be nervous, I mean what's the worst that can happen, him asking where he can find a carton of milk and a box of fruit loops? Can't be that serious

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

So eye contact is only awkward if it's a person you're not communicating with?

[Opinion Owner]

Pretty much, but obviously it varies from person. I mean, lets see, have you ever been walking down the street and just started staring at a really hot girl? Most likely but do you ever continue to stare at her once she notices? Yes or no, usually it all comes down to comfort level. Even if you don't know a person well at all, initiating some type of convo places a little bit of comfort making I guess for you, or should I say me feeling a bit at ease.. it's not just some random creep if you get

[Opinion Owner]

what I mean lol and sorry, I type a lot :p

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

I guess that makes sense.

[Anonymous]

This guy would stare at me all the time and he even told me he liked me a lot. He'd would bring things up that we talked about weeks ago. So you'd think he's interested right. Thing is he's wearing a ring so obviously he's married. Nice guy but, made me feel kind of funny. So I just avoided him in the future. If he had been single. Then I would of found him to be extremely attractive but, he wasn't.

[harveykinkle]

Eye contact tells a lot about a person.

If you're too scared to look me in the eye when you talk I can tell that you don't see me as at least an equal.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

What if that person is just shy and doesn't or can't keep eye contact like the people below have stated?

[harveykinkle]

Same thing. Too afraid to make eye contact.

I can tell a person's confidence based upon eye contact. Confidence has a lot to do with relationships.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

So if a CUTE guy walks up to you but he can't make or keep eye contact with you, do you give him your number or make up an excuse because he couldn't hold eye contact?

[harveykinkle]

I would do neither. I'd truthfully tell him I'm not interested although in that case not because of the eye contact but rather because I don't date randoms anymore.

I have a sharp, angular face. I look intimidating. Everyone is intimidated by me so it's going to take someone who's not intimidated for me to agree to go on a date with them providing I've known them for awhile. :P

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

Well how are you going to get to know someone if you don't give out your number or talk to randoms?

[harveykinkle]

I date the way I think everyone else should.

I'm searching for a partner, not a boyfriend. When I meet that person and it feels right and I've had a chance to observe them for awhile in non dating situations, then I will date them opposed to dating countless randoms and hoping one works out.

Too many guys lied to me to get me to like them and basically just reflected myself back at me. Now it's just a waste of time and now I see what they're like and then date them. I'm happily single.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

So do you just date guys that you work or go to school with or do you just observe them for that small amount of time that they've approached and started talking to you? It makes sense to date guys that you've known awhile or at least have a feel for who they really are, but I don't see how you can get to know them if you don't talk to them over the phone or anything. Maybe I'm just being really dumb right now, I don't know.

[harveykinkle]

Not talk to them on the phone. Just be acquaintances for a bit first. I don't need to know them as a person, I just need a good enough idea of what they're like so I don't have to question every single thing they say and wonder if they actually mean it or just want to impress me.

Girls like me are the result of all of the "how do I make her like me" posts.

[Confucius16]

I feel that it is rude to stare at a person for too long, so I sometimes look elsewhere. It could be partially because I'm shy.

It also takes a long time to get to know someone, and unfortunately, many guys are just interested in a girl's external appearance.

[RedSmartie]

It depends on how long the eye contact is. If it's for less than three seconds, it's normal. If it's longer than that, I'm going to feel uncomfortable no matter what the situation is.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

Would you feel uncomfortable if someone held eye contact throughout a conversation that lasted a couple of minutes?

[RedSmartie]

If it was unbroken, then absolutely.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

So what would you suggest a guy do to avoid making you feel uncomfortable with their eye contact? If any of that makes sense?

[RedSmartie]

If you constantly stare into someone's eyes without ever looking away ever for several minutes at a time you will give them the creeps no matter what your relationship is with them. Eye contact is important but you need to break it every once in a while. Look around, look at whatever you're doing, look at the rest of their face, whatever. Just be natural. It isn't natural to stare dead into someone's eyes without looking away.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

That sounds like pretty sound advice, I'll be sure not to stare for too long into someone's eyes.

[RedSmartie]

It can just get creepy. Keeping eye contact is good but make sure to break it every so often and you'll be just fine.

[Maxen92]

I find it attractive.

I usually give my Clint Eastwood squint to a girl when I'm attracted to her (without having the "hard face" on). It grabs her attention usually :)

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

Can you post a link to this 'Clint Eastwood squint'? Sounds powerful.

[Maxen92]

Google pictures of Clint Eastwood and look at his squint. The difference is I have a relaxed face rather than a "hard face" that he Clint has.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

haha I see it now. I tend to do that sometimes.

[bassist58]

If a girl maintains eye contact with a guy for a while it's very hot!

[ManaX]

I like eye contact, tells you a lot about a person. I am not afraid to give anyone eye contact.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

I'm usually the same way, I end up breaking it with certain people though.

[sachagrant]

If a man makes eye contact with me I know he is interested, I don't find it awkward at all I find it to be intuative...It lets me know he's interested enough that if I wanted to I can start a conversation with him and vice versa...

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

Hmm...I need to start making eye contact with girls more often. haha

[Mihikko]

Its one way of communicating..Keeping eye contact with the one you only pass by is a bit awkward, just don't take it longer cause sometimes it's creepy or someone will assume that your flirting.

[johari]

doesn't bother me but straight up staring is meaning not looking around

[kangaru]

It's pretty awkward. for me. I will think something is wrong with me

[Anonymous]

Girl holding strong eye contact with a smile or positive look, with periodic breaks, is hot as f***.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

I agree, man. Also, what else would you consider a positive look besides a smile? Just curious.

[Opinion Owner]

Intrigue

[Anonymous]

It's a sign of attraction, familiarity, hatred, or just the eye wandering.

[Anonymous]

"a bit attractive"? I'd say its very attractive...really like it. sadly some girls find it a little awkward.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

I remember I use to find it really awkward. Now I've started to maintain eye contact for as long as possible. That's one of the reasons I asked this question is because I'm not sure if the girls at work like it when I keep eye contact with them for a long time.

[Anonymous]

If she's my girlfriend I like it, otherwise I find it awkward