Boyfriend wrestling with another girl.

[lol1989]

My boyfriend and I own a house, and have a daughter together. For the most part our relationship is pretty solid. I just fI aound out that at a party he was recently at he was wrestling his friends sister. Maybe I am reading to much into this but I just don't know how to take that. I don't want to open the subject with him because I only found out because I grabbed the wrong phone the other day by mistake when I went to the store and she asked If he was hungover. He only told me that he wrestled with her brother. I never said anything and just returned the phone when I got home and grabbed mine on my way to work. Can someone please tell me how I should approach this subject or if I should even bother?

[JoeValentyn]

i'll play the guy:

may be getting slightly 2% bored;

moment of weakness (sounds like alcohol involved, a vice re fooling/flirting with other grils).

you should - after putting your feelings first (you were wronged), & basically following the well thought out advice of the anonymous girl poster, try to 'let him live it down', esp. if he's contrite & realizes it was wrong.

he might try to get away with it at first, don't judge his compassion hastily, he likely has some papery excuse (altho I don't know him, maybe not his style) that he hopes will let him get away with a little 'extra' - the men-have-an-enterprising-personality trait.

don't let him get away with it, censure / get emotional / cold shoulder / shame him.

good luck

[lol1989]

I just brought It up with him. He said he didn't say anything because he didn't want me to get upset. The girl is just going through a divorce so I also explained that not only an I uncomfortable with it in general but this makes me even more self conscious of it. He said he didn't delete it because he didn't want to hide it but wasn't sure if it was worth telling me and making me upset. Pretty paper thin, relationships take a lot more work when children are involved.

[JoeValentyn]

the initial papery defense. get through that, maybe communicate it hurt you until he feels sympathy. maybe threaten to do worse if he ever does it again, & still be mad at him maybe

[JoeValentyn]

not sure

[JoeValentyn]

i think we men form an unrealistic defense that we hope we can skirt by with, before we deal with it as it really is, or on the level women deal with social situations/issues (meaning, more deeply than men). at least sometimes. at least he knows it was wrong & didn't try to fight for his right to wrestle with girls. men are pretty loyal too, like dogs, he should work it out now that he knows your response. good luck, these are just guideline ideas, wing it as needed. take care

[lol1989]

Thanks fir helping me out with that. I am happy I addressed it I feel better now and don't have to worry about that spontanious verbal combustion that happens a week down the road when something little happens that is completely irrelevent and not associated at all.

[JoeValentyn]

good note

[Anonymous]

If he's into wrestling girls he might appreciate it if you were to show an interest in wrestling with him.

[Anonymous]

If it's bothering you then you should talk about it. Bottled up feelings come out eventually. I'd just tell him how it made you feel. Don't accuse him of anything.

"I heard you were wrestling with ____ and I got kind of jealous and insecure."

[Opinion Owner]

I should add that his reaction is important. If he says sorry, hugs you then it's all good. If he gets defensive and it turns into an argument then he's doesn't think your feelings are important.

[lol1989]

Thank you. I was thinking about that but was really unsure. I know that he loves my but yeah I am insecure this girl is beautiful, and I wasn't there. Likely why I wasn't told but that you for validating my feelings and giving me a way to go about it.

[imfederica]

That sounds a bit odd although it is his friends sister. He could see her as a sister or good friend. I wrestle with my boyfriends friends and it really doesn't mean anything. If it bothers you though, talk to him.

[Anonymous]

first of all, dump him.. then wrestle with some random dude and ask him how he likes it. what a loser.

[lol1989]

Leaving soneone when you love them with your whole heart isn't that easy. We also have a beautiful 2 year old together as well as a house. As much as the insecure side of me would love to do that. It isn't really in the books to flip not only my life over but my daughters as well.

[Opinion Owner]

Understandable, but you're not going to be any good to your daughter if you disrespect yourself by staying with someone who disrespects you.. and let's be honest, he disrespected you.

[MaxVolume]

I think that maybe a little overboard. I do many things that I might not have though about at the time. I think many guys do this. But my girl knows she's the one I am with, she's the one I'm coming home too, she the one I pay the bills for, lol

[Opinion Owner]

sound like what every cheater says.. I call bs.