Why does it become "awkward" after you confessed your feelings to someone?

[S0ph5t3R]

It happened to me before, when I was in middle school. I was insanely shy and that was so freakin' hard for me to keep the "normal" relationship I had with that person before (my crush usually were in my group of friends). Now that I'm a sophomore in college, it seems to be different. I stayed friends with my ex and, even though it didn't last, the "awkwardness" was less overbearing. Then last month, I confessed to my crush and things are still the same. We still talk the same and he said that he still wants to hang out.
What do you guys think? I know that there's a considerable amount of time between middle school and college and I sure did mature a lot, but how do you explain that?

[existing_not_living]

I've actually been pretty mature about that whole situation. If someone knows I like them, then I don't care so much. Like, I wouldn't tell them, but if they somehow found out, I would still want to remain friends. I've had multiple guy friends who confessed their feelings towards me and while I didn't return them, I still wanted to remain friends. I didn't make it awkward because I still cared for them and even if they liked me I wouldn't want to lose our friendship. To me, as long as they don't make it awkward, then neither will I. I liked a guy once and he found out after I asked him out (this was when I was in the 6th grade) and even after that he still talked to me like nothing happened which I appreciated. I'm in my last year of high school and throughout it I've had many situations like that, but I kept my friendship with the people.

I think it becomes awkward because when the feelings are not returned, then you don't know what to do anymore. You feel like if you say something to that person, they may think you are only saying it because you like them. It makes it harder to maintain that friendship because the person you like doesn't want to hurt your feelings and you are afraid to lose them so you tiptoe around different subjects. That's what makes it awkward to me. Luckily, I've never been put in that bad of a situation so I haven't had to deal with that awkwardness.

[S0ph5t3R]

"You feel like if you say something to that person, they may think you are only saying it because you like them." YES! That's exactly the problem! Many people think that, if you compliment them, you automatically like them, which is dumb, right? And that's the problem! If they are being honest and clear with you, there is no need for them to worry that you would insist. Yes, you probably still will like them (*ahem* me), but it'll be clear in your mind that things will stay there.

[existing_not_living]

Yep. With me, just because a guy compliments me, I appreciate the compliment, but I'm not like "OMG, that guy has a huge crush on me!" Yeah, it might wander into my mind, but it's not at the forefront of it. I get compliments from my guy friends all the time, but I never think they like me as anything more than a friend. Maybe they do, but I don't think about it. I just don't see why people have to make things so awkward.

[Darkfairie17]

I think the only time it would be awkward would be if the person didn't feel the same way. But even then, who cares? Why make the person who just spilled their heart out feel terrible about it?

I think when you are younger, it's more of a big thing to express your feelings for the other person. Kids like to tease each other about liking someone. So i think that has a part in it.

[S0ph5t3R]

It's still is the same in college! I experienced that a lot! :)

[DragonRose]

I think it's always awkward when Somone you like knows you like them. It's kinda like the telling them. Ya I'd do Ya! Well I feel that way any ways. If that makes any sense to you.😅

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

It could be good and than again maybe nothing will come out of it
really hard to say , Yes things are different but unless you make a move
or he makes a move than nothing will happen and you gotta ask yourself
if this is something you want do for sure , Remember this is college now
not middle school you might get into something good than it can turn out
to be just a friendship only with nothing serious ever coming out of it ,

[PSIHEPA]

Because you put yourself out there and that person did'nt harbor you're notion correctly and did not cradle it to sleep. What they did do though is leave you hanging and awkward so they could bask in the sediment of being wanted.

[PSIHEPA]

Know that there is nothing wrong with you're sexuality, and you can't hang out on a limb vulnerable like that forever. The good thing is now you know he knows. Do not chase him as you don't have to now. Allow him to come to you or give you're dignity back.

[PSIHEPA]

It is up to him now. (The ball is in his court) since you had enough courage.

[Metlahaed]

It's pretty simple. You've shown your hand face up, so you become vulnerable. That "awkwardness," is a result of trying to keep your composure despite the blatant fact that it is your feelings on the line. Your hand is laid out on the table, but you are still trying to bluff.

This has varying degrees of experience, of course, and there are other contributing factors such as your perception of self, his reaction to you, your friends reactions, and so on.

[OpenWine]

Gg,,

[Metlahaed]

I'd like to add that the awkwardness disappears through overcoming your fears and your insecurities, thus becoming less vulnerable and more emotionally prepared.

GG

[S0ph5t3R]

Sweet! Yea, I agree with you. I don't know why, but after I confessed my crush, I never felt so good! I felt like I had a huuuuuumongous load removed from my shoulders. It was not awkward, but I didn't really like the fact that he thought I was kidding in the first place. It made me a bit upset, but I still felt great about telling him how I felt. Our friendship hasn't changed a bit, but I guess it will because he now knows how I truly feel.

[simplegal123]

Because we show them our true vulnerable self... it's either make or break situation... so it's awkward for the one who expresses and also a little to one to who it is expressed

[nileve]

in my opinion is not awkwardness what we feel but disappointment
when we expose ourselves and the other person doesn't cherish our emotions towards them it hurts
our emotions are the most value able and strongest thing we have to offer

[rosegarden]

Don't be ashamed of your feelings. I have confessed before and it wasn't awkward after even when they didn't want me lol. I just don't want to lose the friendship at least

[S0ph5t3R]

Yes, I agree. I wasn't ashamed when I confessed recently. But I was in freakin' middle school and high school. It was such a big deal for me!

[rosegarden]

But it's such a relief to let them out! I was way too scared of boys in HS.

[youknowitt]

It's usually awkward when you see their expression and it's not what you expect.

[rosegarden]

Or when they can't even say anything back

[S0ph5t3R]

@rosegarden Oh yea! I'm baring my heart, so I'm expecting the other person to tell me how they feel. I confessed to my crush a couple months ago, and he didn't say right away how he felt. I had to ask him a bit harshly for him to say something (he thought I was joking..)!

[ixi10]

Because you're more mature now! And the people you're into are more mature. Everyone involved is able to process these things better

[Anonymous]

I think the awkwardness is caused by the constant thought of things are never going to be the same again.

[SIGguy]

Because I've expressed my feelings to girls and they laughed in my face, and when they express flattery, it's totally unexpected. That's why.

[SIGguy]

This post sounds a little incoherent. Sorry, didn't sleep well.

[S0ph5t3R]

It's ok! What did you mean?

[SIGguy]

What I'm expecting is humiliation, but what I get is acceptance.

[S0ph5t3R]

That's interesting.

[MarkTwain]

Communication is key... no doubt and a sign of maturity. It's only awkward because, he probably either he didn't understand, don't know what to do, or does not want to do anything.

[orphan]

because feelings are the lone purity within the deceptive mind of an evolved human.

[S0ph5t3R]

Sounds really poetic.

[Hollywood-Glam]

Because expressing feelings is something most of us get shy from.

[Anonymous]

its only awkward if you make it!

[S0ph5t3R]

YES! Thank you, random citizen! ;)
I think the same way! I can make things soooooooooooo awkward if I want to. But sometimes people just don't make any efforts and you just give up.

[Anonymous]

Its a phenomenon common to awkward people

[S0ph5t3R]

Do you mean that I'm the awkward one? I don't feel like I am.. I'm a social butterfly and make my best to make others feel at ease around me. Do you mean people I confessed to or?

[Metlahaed]

Did he tell you he felt awkward?

[S0ph5t3R]

No, but he was taking some time answering and he seemed a bit tensed. But I wasn't speaking ONLY about my current crush, but past ones who were 16/17/18 year-old kids and were pretty dumb.

[Anonymous]

Because you become vulnerable

[LordZero]

Girls are too scary.

[S0ph5t3R]

Uuuh.. why?

[Anonymous]

Hell if I know?