Would you date someone with anger issues?

Question

Lets saaaay
They don't necessarily get angry more often than the average person, its just when they do get angry, they get ANGRY. They throw things, they break things, and they even have a hole in their wall because they got so angry one time, they punched it.
You ask them "have you ever been tempted to hit someone" and they say "sometimes. but i never actually do it"

PunkinPie · Accepted Answer

I've been there, I married him, spent 15 years in hell, and no I would never, ever go near someone with anger issues again.

The problem is they don't own their own emotional responses. It's my fault that he got upset. I "pushed his buttons." So I spent much of my marriage tiptoeing around him trying to not push his buttons and thinking it was actually my fault. The truth is he had so many buttons it was impossible not to push them.

Of course he didn't act like this when we were dating. There was an occasional outburst but it wasn't a consistent pattern like it was once we'd been married a few years

Basically, he was immature emotionally and couldn't handle the stress of a marriage, mortgage, and a kid. He would get frustrated at work and bring those frustrations home. No, he never actually hit me but they were time his hand was raised and I thought for sure that he would. No, he wasn't angry all the time, but it's like living with an alcoholic. You never know when they'll come home angry and needing a fight.

One thing about angry people is they get upset, dump it all on you, and now they're feeling better but you now have to deal with all the crap they dumped on you.

If he's hitting the wall, breaking things, and throwing things it's going to be 10 times worse in the future. I definitely would not continue to get close to him. He needs serious help and you will end up getting hurt eventually.

The best thing you can do for him is say "I love you enough to not continue in this relationship. I want to motivate you to get the help that you need." Otherwise, you're enabling his behavior. He's got to have consequences.

One of our marriage counselors said that anger is actually a high for some people. They get addicted to the emotional release.

vonasaurus · Accepted Answer

the way i see it, we all have things that make us tick. and, as long as he has a healthy outlet for these emotions, it's not a big deal.

my other half is a perfectionist like me, which sometimes manifests itself as anger toward whatever he's doing... but he has never threatened or been violent with me. in fact, he's one of the most gentle souls i know.

victoriameliegray · Accepted Answer

No. It just isn't safe. even though they don't do it right now doesn't mean they won't later. People with anger issues tend to appear annoying to me and is an extremely big turnoff. I stay away from people with anger issues. My mother is one, so I tend to avoid that type when I want to get into a deeper relationship with someone.

Ali55sven · Accepted Answer

Stay far far away from those ones. Im a really relaxed calm guy and know a couple of people with anger issues jeez. But it actually depends if i am dating this girl already and later find that she has anger issues i would stay with her. I wouldn't mind as much, however it depends on a level. The difference between girls and guys anger issues could be kinda different. I mean no need to be sexist or anything but how aggresive can a girl get?

ak666 · Accepted Answer

If she had a lot of awesome qualities to balance that, looked incredible to me, and seemed capable of getting over these issues, I might.

NyomiMcClinton · Answer

No, dated a few guys that had anger issues. Never lasted long. And in the beginning most females will not know that someone who they are dating has anger issues. Its not until you are deeply in love with the guy to let go that you realize that he has anger issues. By this time, you will do anything to keep him happy. Not worth the headache for me anymore. Id rather date someone who isn't quick to get upset over every little thing.

meatballs21 · Answer

Fuck no. If they lose control like that regularly, even if they take it out on other stuff, makes me worry they'll lose the control that stops them taking it out on me too.

Brooke_1713 · Answer

no, just no. My last bestfriend used to have anger issue and she usually took her anger on literally anyone she considered her "closest friend" It was really annoying and it pissed me off so no, I don't think that i would even date anyone with anger issue.

spencify · Answer

I think I could do it, I am the opposite, we would balance each other out. As long as she fixes the stuff she breaks lol

YingKim · Answer

I don't think so. I mean I am patient so maybe I would be able to put up with a guy with anger issues if I loved him. But I am not looking for angry guy!

BeautifulPromisesx · Answer

Fuck that. I've spent 21 years tolerating it from family, I'm not about to spend my whole life with that BS.

Anonymous · Answer

Probably not because of bad experiences with this.. its quite familiar. I would probably never do it again unless the person was fully aware of it and trying to work on it too. Otherwise, nah.. from my own experience, its not worth it to me.

xHoneyxBeex · Answer

No, I would not feel comfortable dating someone who has violent outbursts when they get angry. That would be a huge red flag for me.

Jemini_Crocket · Answer

Nobody is perfect. I'd give him a chance. (people can be so demanding these days viz the second option)

RedThread · Answer

I'm a very peaceful and laid back guy so I don't think I'd respond well to someone who flies off the handle. I like to discuss everything in a rational way using our inside voices.

rraac · Answer

no fuck that anger issues turn into way more bull shit

Sami365 · Answer

No I wouldn't. I already have a dad with anger issues; I don't need a boyfriend with them too.

xCutesyLolitax · Answer

I would, it would be hypocritical of me not to since I have anger issues

art84 · Answer

No way would i date someone with anger issues or uncontrollable anger. It would be hard to deal with someone destroying stuff and too stressful to deal with in a relationship.

April10 · Answer

Absolutely not. Never in a million years. I would rather die alone. No.

Sweetsara27 · Answer

No I wouldn't feel safe or comfortable. Them having anger issues is also a big red flag for me.

Anonymous · Answer

i would just have to lay this dick down and straighten that attitude up

WriterAndPainter · Answer

I'd try, but they would have to figure themselves out. It's not healthy to be that angry.

AnaWryneck · Answer

Been there done that fuck that

Would you date someone with anger issues?

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