Would someone with anger issues be a turn off to you in dating?

Question

fauchelevent · Accepted Answer

Yeah, that'd be a big turn off for me. My anxiety kinda makes me feel like people are mad at me a lot more often and intensely than they actually are so dating someone who actually does have anger issues is gonna make my anxiety worse and I'm just gonna be insecure. Plus, when people are mad at me I immediately kinda become terrified and a sobbing mess and I flinch away from them and it's all just kinda pathetic and awful and I don't really wanna be in a relationship with someone who I'm constantly reacting like that to. It'd just suck for both of us, I think. I suppose I'd be open to it as long as they were getting help for their anger issues though!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Depends. In some cases it can be funny, others not so much and some can be scary. I suffer from depression and service connected PTSD, so managing my own anger can be a challenge at times. If he shares that situation with me, I'll understand but if his anger is over a spoonful of food dropping on the floor or some other petty thing, it's a deal breaker. It shows he's quick to anger which can escalate to domestic violence (not saying PTSD can't because it can but in that situation I would try to get him help before leaving him)

Goodwifie · Accepted Answer

I dated a guy with anger issues.
I told him that I couldn't handle is verbal abuse anymore and left him.
He wouldn't leave me alone.
He threatened to stab me, on another occasion he told me was going to get his mates to beat me up.
These threatening text would always be followed by apologies saying that he still loved me.

cheapshotbob · Accepted Answer

it would be yeah , i would avoid someone like that. unless there a girl because girls for some reason can't be really angry in my opinion. though im sure there really violent with bats and knives and things and even poison. but i think for a healthy relationship there should not be anger issues but voiceful opinions that can be talked out. if it gets like that GIF you are showing its time to go because there is no reasoning with them.

or this GIF
static1.comicvine.com/.../...-1656164300-tumbl.gif

RJGraveyTrain · Answer

More than most of my pet peeves. Yes. I don't date angry people.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

It would be the automatic end of my interest.

FýrdracaDócincel · Answer

I'm convinced people who follow me are tired of me saying this by now but..
IT DEPENDS.

Example:
One of my former girlfriends (the most notable of my exes in fact) was one of those girls who appear very calm, innocent and reserved like 95% of the time.
But every now and then, she'd make a full 180 and just flip out because she either got so stressed or so mad at something.
She never hurt anyone doing that, except for when they were the ones who provoked her in the first place. Usually she'd just punch a wall or something similar.

In a weird sort of way, I actually thought it was really hot knowing that this seemingly awkward and docile little sweetheart had a psychopathic side that almost rivaled mine. I guess you could say, hidden behind all that proper feminine goodness, I saw a bit of myself in her.

Hehe.. I was hooked on her way longer than I should have been. 😊

America1st · Answer

I won't make a blanket statement on this. It would depend on the situation and what sparks it, etc. Anger issues can be dealt with and get much better. It's not like the person can't work on it and change. I have a woman who is a very good friend. She has breast cancer and had a double mastectomy. The cancer spread. She has massive anger issues. I helped her get used to stopping for a second before she goes off and think if it's fair to those around her would be effected by her behavior. It took some time with me stopping her and reminding her to think a second. She now has good control. I don't know if you can have bigger anger issues that when you know you're going to die while suffering terribly when you get closer to death.

Elarra · Answer

It's a turn off, but I'd like to know the reason for it. I have bipolar disorder and I know how frustrating it can be having rages and manic episodes and uncontrollable anger and irritation so I try not to judge someone else for it. But if they're just like that because they're abusive or something then I'd leave.

estoydorado1 · Answer

Absolutely not. I don't want to spend my life on eggshells and stress makes me physically ill. I've been so stressed before that I've completely lost my voice, I've gotten bloody noses over stress and I get migraines when overwhelmed too. I want a man who can handle himself, not an unstable hot head who will implode at the slightest perceived offence.

Nmalinova · Answer

It depends on how bad they are... my boyfriend does like to throw his tantrums here and there and is quite a tempremental person, but I think it may not be quite on the same level as real anger issues... as someone who is quite sensitive to emotions, a person with anger issues would be a disaster >.<

BuchitaBuchys · Answer

I have anger issues as everyone in my family does. While I don't like it, it'd be hypocritical of me not to date someone like that because it's something I identify with and struggle with as well.

So yes turn off, but no not a deal breaker.

Browneye57 · Answer

It's a big red flag honey. People like this are unable to process and deal with things. Next they'll do the counter-clearing thing with you.  by the way, is that Jack Nicholson? Helluvan actor!

Rainie_ · Answer

People with anger issues scare me. I just tend to freeze up when they get an outburst. My ex had anger issues and he punched other people and beat them to the point of putting them into hospital. Scared me a lot definitely and was one of the reasons I left him. Fortunately I wasn't hit or anything but I didn't wanna stay with him in case it might happen (he's punched women before)

normalice · Answer

it would be a turn off, but I can't say it would be a deal breaker. My parents had anger issues, so it's nothing shocking or unfamiliar to me.

I can say that a girl with anger issues would have to 'make up for it' with exceptional attributes in other areas, in order for me to even consider tolerating her.

Bonnie12I27I12 · Answer

YES. A THOUSAND TIMES YES!
My ex had anger issues and all it did was annoy me. Felt like I was walking on eggshells the whole time. People w anger issues need to see a therapist bc it's not healthy for them either.

Zendrya · Answer

yes definitely. I had some pretty bad anger issues in highschool (it was never directed at my partner but when I was at home I was always enraged) and I have no idea how he stuck with me... I don't think I could have stuck with me.

Hans222 · Answer

If it's as bad as that guy, yes... If it's more about sporadically getting "very nervous" but overall being a nice person, I'd do my best to accept it if the person feels like someone I like :D

phyllisisabelle · Answer

Absolutely. I had been in a relationship with a guy who suddenly developed anger issues and especially some intense jealousy. When he turned it onto me that was it. I dont need the drama of dealing with it.

BeautifulPromisesx · Answer

Yes thats the one thing I vowed id never get in a partner bc my dad had anger issues and it sucked. My partner is always chill with me and we start laughing even during arguments and I love him for that.

Anonymous · Answer

I have anger issues but can control it with the people I love. Honestly I'm really sweet and cool-headed most of the time. (Even in situations of stress and annoyance).

However, sometimes I will fucking lose it. Completely go insane and forget everything that has happened in that time period. I mean, fuck.. It scares me.

I also suffer from depression so I am not entirely date-able at the moment.
I get lots of opportunities to go on dates because of the looks department (or so I am told)

I would love to find a girl that can help me through these times and is able to handle a mad outburst that I won't recall. I always feel awful afterwards. :(

Matti_Jr · Answer

No, as long as it doesn't resort to violence. Letting it out every now and then is better than bottling it up.

AnarchicKitten · Answer

Probably. I've lived with hot headed people all my life and I'm one of them so yeah I think I can handle it unless they got violent in which case that would be a problem.

OrdinaryGentleman · Answer

I would rather them express it than internalize it. Been around both types, i prefer the girls who are spitfires, who don't internalize shit. If they happen to get angry over something justified, zero problems.
If a leaf flutters through the wind and bumps their ankle, and they flip out, then i have a problem.

glitterberryalisa · Answer

Definitely! I grew up around family members who had anger issues and obviously nothing positive about it. I would prefer someone who's level headed and can handle their emotions, for the most part.

ImACowgirl · Answer

No lol I find it funny. I guess it depends on how bad it is. I don't really mind aggressive men as long as they're gentle with me lol

luvstoned4him · Answer

Some people dont know the difference between Aggressive or Anger. I can't deal with the latter especially on a regular basis.

Missy_rjoe · Answer

No I tend to be understanding of them. However if it gets physical that's another story or they hurt me or anyone else emotionally or mentally.

Iraqveteran666 · Answer

Kinda. I used to date a girl like this, she'd go nuclear at the slightest problem and thought it ok to hit men because she was a woman. I dumped her for making a scene and acting like an abusive cunt to a waitress who'd mixed up her order, I just dumped her and paid the bill.

Archam · Answer

If I really love her than anger issues won't be a problem because I'd do my best to never upset her, Plus they have more passionate sex 😉

DeejayShaan · Answer

yes definitely. because the guy will not feel free to talk as he will be in fear that a small move of him can make that girl angry !

vishna · Answer

YES! This has happened to me before, I met a guy then I learned he would punch holes in walls when angry.

pooper89 · Answer

I sometimes struggle with dealing with my anger. I'm a lot better than I used to be but sometimes it shows.  I wouldn't not date someone because of it though, knowing that I myself struggle with it

Kayla45 · Answer

Kinda but not really. I've dated guys with OCD that would flip out if something wasn't done the way they wanted.

alice55 · Answer

Some days ago I would have said I was finding it hot but now I can't support it, make me think of my mother.

chrisbigman · Answer

More likely, yes. I don't take kindly to someone who can't control their anger. Someone who has anger issues likely got it before I was dating. If they have anger issues, I would strongly suggest that they see a therapist and resolve them. I will defend myself when someone attacks me after I did nothing to them.

Paris13 · Answer

Whenever I Would find Out... I Oust them Out of my Life to avoid Strife. xx

ladsin · Answer

Hell yeah, I'm not an angry person and tend to not like those who are

Pari1004 · Answer

i'm the one with anger issues.. and yes to some extent it does!

SkyrimAndHugs · Answer

I'd try to get help for them, if they can't improve themselves then byebye

Random_lil_biscut · Answer

I would say no it won't be a turn off, as long as they were trying to work on their anger issues.

myriamgh · Answer

yes, anger can lead to bad things, just like violence. And I'm more of a calm person, so I enjoy a peaceful boyfriend.

SammyGurl · Answer

It's such a deal breaker that if I knew ahead of time that he would never have a chance!

xxmamichulaxx · Answer

Nah, its not a turnoff , as long as they dont get violent or aggressive with me for no reason.

musicbrain5 · Answer

Major red flag. I'm not going to date a guy who completely loses his cool over everything.

AleDeEurope · Answer

Probably. Too many issues to deal with, kinda not into that.

lovelyhoneybones · Answer

I LOVE the shining. And yes, it would be a very big turn off.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I find it hard to get along with someone with anger issues yes it would be hard to date them.

Kuraj · Answer

No it wouldn't be a turn off. But the first time they directed their anger at me would also be the last time.

victoria28 · Answer

yes, there might come a time that he would just snapped and who knows, he might vent it on me (physically)

JDavid25 · Answer

My brother harbors some anger issues, and while I do find it annoying, it ain't nothing that can't be dealt with.. LOL.. It would be a turn off, but not necessarily a deal breaker..

Intraluminal · Answer

Nah. I love being hit randomly. It makes my life better in every way.

JosyJosy · Answer

It wouldn't be just a turn off, but a huge red flag

ADFSDF1996 · Answer

Yes.

Michael6084 · Answer

Yes. That's mainly because I have very low tolerance for that kind of behavior. I'm more likely to leave a relationship pretty quickly if a person has anger issues.

walkietalkie1990 · Answer

Not too much anger tho like in the gif lol. I would talk to them about it and would like to resolve the issue if there is any

Streamhopper · Answer

Probably. I'm a pretty patient guy, and I don't fight. But in that case, yeah, I would probably draw the line.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, it would be a problem. People with anger issues need therapy.

datgirl · Answer

Yep, and I would never want to see him again. I don't need that shit.

SunsetLover · Answer

I wouldn't date. Relationships have enough problems at it is lol.

Patriots512 · Answer

Seeing how men have to put up with women while on their period, why can't women put up with angry men?

cth96190 · Answer

Anger issues would be a deal breaker, because anger and aggression are not feminine traits; and because anger and physical aggression are usually inversely proportional to intelligence.

notallthere98 · Answer

I grew up dealing with people with anger issues. I'm not doing that bullshit again, especially ot in a relationshio

llol_girl_11 · Answer

Most definitely. I wouldn't want my partner to snap' one day and next thing you'll know is that I'm buried six feet underground.

Would someone with anger issues be a turn off to you in dating?

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