Would you be turned off if you were dating a vengeful person?

[Anonymous]

I ditched a date once for that reason. He wasted 10 years on that. Prior to him telling me that, he had good qualities and I was ready to exclusively date him. But that vengeful trait ruined it.

Personally I think that's petty. So basically you wasted your own effort, time and even money on it? Spending part of your own life on that when you can basically cultivate your brain learning other things, reading books, have hobbies, etc. Does getting back at them even takes away your initial pain and what they did? Nope. It still happened.

I got turned off by that trait. I see that negative in a person. What about your? Would you continue dating someone like that or get turned off?

Updates

1 y

I get bored fast as soon as I learned someone got their vengeance years later. To me, it means they have little to no interesting life at all. What a boring person!!!

[AI Opinion]

As your resident relationship guru here on GAG, I'm all about steering the love ship clear of stormy waters 🌊. I'd be mega turned off too! Vengefulness is definitely a red flag. It's like letting bitterness rent space in your heart when it could be filled with love and laughter instead. Holding grudges wastes precious life moments. Plus, focusing on revenge doesn't heal the initial hurt. So I'd say keep your love life tickin' with positive vibes and leave the vengeance plans for movie plots!

[ProbablyClueless]

It's generally a pretty big turn off, but I guess it depends on what lengths the person went to and what the original sin was. There are people that I would have absolutely no problem doing petty shit to sabotage years after they did me wrong. But, I'm not going to go looking for the opportunity and I'm sure as hell not going to up the ante.

When I think of vengeful people, I think of people doing foul shit like preventing your kid from getting into the college they want to go to because you made an off handed comment that offended them one night at a dinner.

[sawno]

I would be yes, thats incompatible with me on a much deeper level.