Girls: Would you let your boyfriend go to a pool party with mostly girls?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend got invited to a pool party that a lot of girls are going to vs guys. I saw the invite on Facebook and it was called the BBB party. Bikinis Boys and Booze. I didn't get invited but I know he is going. Would you allow it?

Updates

+1 y

This party isn't new either. It's like an every spring thing that's been going on for a while. It's like 10 girls and 5 guys going.

Updates

+1 y

And the guys are all friends

[sweetheart_cupcake]

guys love freedom and if you give your boyfriend freedom he will more likely choose to be with you (instead), tell him this: "I believe in having a life of our own outside of the relationship. Just because we’re together doesn’t mean we should do everything together. I would love it if you spend some free time with your buddies and do things on
your own. I know you wouldn't cheat on me because I know you're different from other guys and it really makes me feels special to have a guy like you. I trust you with all my heart. love you babe~😙" This will show that you respect him and that you trust him which makes him feel loved and will want to keep you and be with you more 😊❤

[samhradh_leannan]

Ultimately, it's not my place to "let" him go to a party- he has the right to go anywhere he wants. That said, I'm insecure enough that the idea of him at a pool party full of mostly girls definitely gives me a pause. It would be nice of him to invite me to go along, and it would also help if he communicated with me while he was there. I don't think my boyfriend would be insensitive enough not to understand why it might make me a little uncomfortable, so I'm sure if he chose to go he would at least be considerate about it. Talk to your boyfriend if you feel uncomfortable, and let him know what he can do to make the process easier on you.

[Asker]

Is there a higher chance of nudity or sexual acts with this party. Because as of now I'm not invited

[samhradh_leannan]

Not necessarily, but it depends on the dynamic of the group. If your boyfriend is committed to you, then you shouldn't have to worry that he'll get involved in anything sexual- but if you're concerned, ask him if anything like that might happen at the party. What I'm curious about is why he doesn't have the authority to invite you. It's pretty normal for people to bring their significant others to parties.

[samhradh_leannan]

Here's my advice: Let him go (not that's it's really your place to stop him), but have a conversation with hi first. Ask him what the dynamic of the party will be like, and let him know exactly what you do and don't feel comfortable with. Also ask him to check in with you while he's there and keep in touch, so you will know that he's thinking about you and that nothing too wild is going on.

[Asker]

It's just a drinking pool party and he said that the girls don't always stay dressed :/ and doesn't want me in that situation

[samhradh_leannan]

If he has the option to invite you but he chooses not to because he doesn't want you "in that situation", then to be totally honest, this is starting to sound a lot fishier.

[Asker]

He doesn't want me uncomfortable I guess but said I could come. I don't know :/

[samhradh_leannan]

Of course he shouldn't force you to go, if you don't want to and feel that you would be uncomfortable. But the fact that there will be nudity and that type of thing only makes it more important that he not intentionally exclude you. I would suggest talking to him more about it.

[samhradh_leannan]

Your boyfriend shouldn't feel the need to shelter you from activities that he willingly participates in. That's a very twisted and controlling attitude for him to have. If he thinks it's an inappropriate situation for you to be in, then he should also think it's an inappropriate situation for him to be in. This is not the 1700s.

[Asker]

I kind of agree. I'd probably go and who knows. I could surprise him with what I do there.

[samhradh_leannan]

I'd encourage you to go if you want to, if you think you'll have fun. Otherwise just talk to him a little more about the specifics so you can feel comfortable with him going if you choose not to attend.

[Asker]

I would maybe. Would it be bad of me to do what the other girls do in the event they don't stay dressed?

[samhradh_leannan]

I don't think it would be bad, no, as long as YOU feel comfortable with it. Your boyfriend doesn't really have a right to complain, since he is participating it the situation as well. If he's not okay with you getting naked in front of other people, then he shouldn't be watching other girls do it. But only do it if you feel comfortable with it.

[Asker]

So if we both go. Do I need permission for that or do I just strip down and enjoy the sun? Because honestly that sounds rather relaxing lol

[samhradh_leannan]

I don't really see why you'd need his permission. After all, he doesn't need your permission to watch.

[Asker]

Yeah true. I just never have before

[samhradh_leannan]

There's a first time for everything!

[Asker]

Have you ever before ha?

[samhradh_leannan]

Not around a lot of people, no. But I'd consider it, if it felt right at the time.

[Asker]

That's how I feel. I'm thinking I will if others are. It would be fun maybe?

[samhradh_leannan]

I think so. I definitely like skinny dipping in private, so under the right circumstances it could be fun in a group too. Just be cautious, especially when it comes to the whole alcohol and water combo. Drunk people and pools aren't necessarily the safest mix.

[Asker]

Yeah I will. Any other advice or input?

[samhradh_leannan]

Just remember that communication is the most important tool for making a relationship work. That's pretty general advice that can be applied to almost any conflict or problem.

[ElissaDido]

Oh i won't be happy. I would be pretty pissed actually.

[lostgirl_searching]

If I didn't want him to go to me honestly it means I don't trust him. Trust and honesty is very important in a relationship, I trust my boyfriend and I would let him go. Plus I don't own him to say what he can or can't do. It's his choice if he wants to go or not.

[dragonfly6516]

Yes sure because 1 I don't control him, 2 I wouldn't be with someone that I can't/ don't trust, and 3 it's not his fault if other girls flirt with him. If they keep on when he asks them to stop and he doesn't leave, then I might start to wonder.

My question is why can't you go with him?

[Asker]

So I did talk to him. He said that the girls will be skinny dipping for the most part and if I want I can come.

[dragonfly6516]

Okay. So nudity. Again, do you trust him?

[Asker]

Yeah. I do but I'd rather him see me naked rather than a group of girls.

[chantrllr]

it's not your choice. let him do what he wants. if he started not allowing you to do things you'd say he's crazy and controlling. if you don't trust him don't date him. other than that let him have his fun. why don't you go out with a few of your friends and have fun while he is out? enjoy life don't be petty and controlling it only ruins relationships

[Asker]

So I found out it'll be skinny dipping and I can come if I want.

[chantrllr]

ahahaha cute

[Asker]

Haha what?

[Girly1710]

I don't think he'd even want to go but I'd let him if he wanted cuz I don't think his motivation to go would have anything to do with the girls, but rather hanging out with his friends that are there.

[Asker]

Would you feel comfortable letting him be around all those girls basically naked?

[Girly1710]

Depends on who the girls are and if they know he's taken

[Asker]

The guys he knows but I don't think he knows the girls welll. And I don't know if they know he's taken. Would you let your boy go or as a girl participate in that type of party?

[Girly1710]

Well I wouldn't go but if he wants to hang with his friends then I'd say okay but tell him not to get slutty with any of the girls. I'd say it jokingly but he'd listen anyways I'm sure.

[Asker]

I did find out that the girls will basically be skinny dipping and if I want I can come. He didn't invite me because he didn't know if I'd be comfortable with that.

[electromagnetic]

Why wouldn't I let him go? Sounds possessive if you ask me. That's basically like saying I shouldn't let him go to the beach either because there are so many people in bikinis

[Asker]

Yeah. But this is a more private setting so it's a higher chance of sexual acts or nudity

[electromagnetic]

The beach has a higher chance of sexual acts and/or nudity actually.

If it's a private party odds are, they all know each other.

It boils down to whether you trust your partner or not. And by the sounds of it, seems like you don't. Either way, he'll probably girl since you said he is and you can't exactly stop him.

[Asker]

How so at a beach if there are 5 guys and 10 girls drinking? I do trust him but that's a unique environment.

[electromagnetic]

2 for every 1 male. Impressive. It's not a unique environment you just have an issue with him being there. Simple truth

[Asker]

so if you had a boyfriend would you participate and leave him alone?

[electromagnetic]

My partner has gone to Brazil fest 2 years straight and I've never had to worry about him. He is a free man and can do whatever he wants.

[Asker]

So I have an update I can't post. There will be skinny dipping and I can come if I want to.

[Goodnightcharlie]

I don't think my boyfriend would want to do that to me. The title of the party alone screams drunk fun in a pool with almost naked girls. I would think drunk sex party and he would too.

[Goodnightcharlie]

Okay never mind I spoke wrong. He probably would not go he doesn't know and he doesn't mind if I go. I seriously feel like I want to break up with him right now.

[Goodnightcharlie]

If he was not able to take me I would be upset:( I just don't understand what type of party it is that would not want you to bring your partner. Unless it was an all guys night or a Batchelor party. I'm sorry.

[Asker]

Well it's just an afternoon guys hanging with girls in bikini drinking party. :/

[Goodnightcharlie]

It will be fine:( This really will pass. You keep yourself busy very busy. Make some really fun plans for that evening. He loves you right? That's what you need to focus on.

[Asker]

I know I'm just worried itll turn into something more. Heck I don't even wear a bikini lol

[Goodnightcharlie]

Stay so busy you can't worry:( Would he let you attend a pool party with 10 guys 5 girls?

[Asker]

Maybe. But I'm now invited and there could be skinny dipping according to him.

[Goodnightcharlie]

I'm glad you got invited. Oh lord I so would not go. :)

[ShaunaM95]

I wouldn't have a problem with it. I trust my boyfriend and if I knew he was going with his friends then it wouldn't bother me.

[Asker]

So you'd be fine with your boyfriend hanging out with his guy friends along with 10 girls in bikinis hanging out?

[ShaunaM95]

Ya I don't see the problem with it. Like I said, I trust him. I know he'd never cheat on me so I don't see the problem in him going to this with his friends.

[Asker]

I guess I'm concerned with the drinking and the possibility of the girls... or guys getting naked.

[ShaunaM95]

I wouldn't worry if you trust him tbh, just because he's been drinking doesn't mean anything is going to happen. And it's very unlikely guys or girls will get naked tbh.

[Asker]

Possibly but who knows.

[Asker]

So I found out there will be skinny dipping and I can come if I want

[ShaunaM95]

If you can go then there's no issue at all! Have fun!

[Asker]

Would you participate in the skinny dipping?

[ShaunaM95]

No I wouldn't, I'm in no way comfortable enough with my body for that 😂

[Asker]

Would it be bad of me to do that?

[ShaunaM95]

If you want to, then do.

[Asker]

Ah. I never have before lol

[this503girl]

It's not about "letting" anybody do anything, rather trusting that your S/O respects you whether you're there or not.

If you don't trust your S/O, you shouldn't be with them.

[Cmasterson]

Well I would wonder why he didn't tell me to come too. Odd.

[Cmasterson]

If they were his friends it wouldn't be a big deal if I came as well.

[Asker]

Yeah. There will be skinny dipping