I Want to be his Submissive, but he has a girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

Long story short, I met a man who said that he's very much into Domination D/s. I told him I've been a sub for 3 years and would love to have a Dom again. My last Dom lied to me about not have a wife and I called it off. Unfortunately he has a girlfriend and I told him that having a girlfriend is a problem. If you know anything about D/s, you would know that everything can go wrong really quick because of the girlfriend. I told him the type of submissive that I am. I need lots of attention, to be punished when I'm a bad girl, and to be rewarded when I'm a good girl, to be protected, and reminded how much my Dom prefers me over the other girls. I've done strict rules for a while, so I'm into that too. When I have a Dom, I love spending time with my Dom! It grows the bond very well, but having a girlfriend would hinder that and he wouldn't be able to give me what I need. I like this guy he has potential, but I'm afraid I will get hurt if I submit to him. He says he really wants me as his sub, but Submission is earned. Should I give him an ultimatum?

[potatoismee]

If he doesn't wanna leave his girlfriend, don't even think about it. Before thinking bout your own feelings think about his relationship. Because if u were in one, you wouldn't wanna be cheated on (at least I hope that's not ok for u)

So don't do anything unless he leaves his girlfriend officially and for good. Also if he does be ready to be left by him for someone else. Because he's proven to be this kind of a person (unless they're on an open relationship, in that case this changes a lot of things)

[Asker]

Thank you. I didn't plan on doing anything with him. Not one bit. I wasn't sure if I should wait for him to give me his answer or to leave and not look back. I'm not gonna lie he is handsome and i got distracted by that, but I thought of his girlfriend and how awful it would feel for her to find out about the D/s. It isn't fair. So I tried telling him that and he said he still wanted me. Thank you for giving me your thoughtful opinion.

[potatoismee]

You're very welcome. I'm glad you are thoughtful about his relationship and girl friend. I hope the best for you and if it doesn't work out with him if he decided to stay in his relationship, don't worry, it just wasn't for the good, and you'll find someone better (he's already not a good person for wanting to cheat on his gf)

[CatieD]

A dom that cheats is a selfish dom that cares more about himself. There are a ton of good doms, don't waste your time on him.

[englisc]

Why not find a Dom that doesn't have a girlfriend? One of the most important things when it comes to D/s is trust - he's already shown that he isn't a trustworthy or faithful person. You say you don't wanna get hurt but you're considering being a sub to a guy who already has a girlfriend and in the end is going to hurt her, are you really that dumb and that desperate?

[Asker]

You obviously didn't read my question. I wasn't sure if I should wait and see if he'll leave her to become my Dom or if I should leave. I didn't say that I would do anything with him while he had a girlfriend. I don't believe in that. And no I'm not stupid or dumb or whatever you wanna call me. Submissives aren't stupid. Like I said I do like him, but I'm not sure if I should wait for him to make the decision or just leave. No need to name call anyone.

[englisc]

I read it perfectly. He's already talking to you behind his girlfriend's back and telling you that he wants you to be his sub, he'd do it if you allowed it - even if he leaves her for you it makes no difference. I'm talking about your bad judgement of character here, he's already shown himself to be a piece of shit yet you're still considering him. No, you shouldn't wait for him to make a decision, leave. You say that your submission is earned - surely that should include earning your trust - his behaviour now should be a huge red flag.

[Asker]

Thank you for your opinion. I certainly see that now. He is displaying no form of trust. I'll definitely be looking for a different Dom.

[elitheawesome377]

No never give ultimatums that just would ruin it and he wouldn't care but if you are looking for a new Dom pm me when you can

[Intraluminal]

LOL 😂 Talk about topping from the bottom! But really, it's not going to work. Find someone else. There are lots of Dom's.

[Anonymous]

why would you submit in everything outside of bed? that seems wrong

[Asker]

If you don't understand D/s then keep you're opinions to yourself. I'm asking subs and Doms here. There are plenty of websites that can explain a D/s relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

just saying it seems wrong... never give that much power to a man regardless

[Justacatlady]

I think you should look for a different Dom.

[sugarette]

Why would you have sex with a cheater.

[Asker]

Contrary to what people believe about D/s, it has nothing to do with sex. Sex comes later if it's agreed upon both individuals. And no I wouldn't have sex with a cheater. I asked if I should give him an ultimatum. Either he leaves her to become my Dom or I leave and find someone else.

[MindTime]

Only go with someone who's all in with you

[Asker]

Thank you! That's what I'll tell him.

[MindTime]

👍👍

[Jayjoy]

lol women nowdays

[Revolver_]

Interesting