Have you ever had your heart BEYOND BROKEN, to shattered?

Question

I was madly in love with a boy that I lost to the competition about 3 years ago and I have still never recovered from it. I wrote a myTake about it.

I was wondering if any other girls, or guys, have had a broken heart with someone that you loved, maybe more than they loved you?

Maybe you were married and they cheated on you? Or, you were in a relationship and found out that they were already married or in another relationship.

Or maybe you have a friend who's heart was broken by someone else?

Please tell me your story. I don't know why, but sometimes it makes it a little easier when you know you are not all alone in the world.

nightdrot · Accepted Answer

Yes. Although I have moved on, have a girlfriend that I love with all my heart and who has given me three beautiful little babies in whom my sun rises and sets, I have never totally gotten over it.

Years ago I was seeing a woman and I got her pregnant. When she told me I was surprised and scared, but I was happy too. I started to imagine our lives together and what being a father would be like. I imagined playing catch with my son or having a "tea party" with my little girl.

At first my girlfriend said that she was happy too, but a few weeks in she told me she was thinking of having an abortion. I begged her not to and told her that I would be with her through the whole pregnancy and birth and that, if she did not want the baby, I would take custody and she would never have to see him or her after she was born.

At first she seemed to accept that and things went on. Then, one day, I dropped by the house, gave her a kiss and knelt down to her belly to say - as I always did - "Hey there, little one. It's daddy and I love you."

My girlfriend stopped me. She said not to bother as she had an abortion, she didn't want to see me anymore, and to get my stuff and get out of the house. I was stunned at first, and we argued, though not as much as you might think. I grabbed my stuff and went out to the car and cried like I had not cried since I was a kid.

It took me a long time to recover. It was like a bad movie, with heavy drinking - and a DUI, thankfully no one was hurt - and wanting sex and then not wanting anything to do with women. I endangered my career at one point it got so bad.

Then I regained my composure a bit. Then I met this beautiful wonderful woman who I am with now, who has given me three wonderful little gifts who call me "daddy," and who forgave me when I could not forgive myself. It has gone far better than I deserve.

Still, to this day I cannot help but think of the little baby I never knew and would have loved and held and cared for with all my heart and strength. It hurts me more than words can say that I don't even know if I had a son or a daughter. Even now I think of him or her and it still hurts and I will never forget that little life that I should have protected and whom I failed.

RetroAlpha · Accepted Answer

LeaLee, I have been there. Oddly enough it was around the same age you currently are now. I thought it would never heal.

It did. I found an even stronger, happier, healthier love when I was 29, after 6 years of sad memories and empty one-nighters. Don't give up.

CurLyF · Accepted Answer

It really does help to know someone has gone through the same thing you have, I'm sorry about your broken heart, but lost him to "competition" doesn't sound like he was worth anything, if you care about someone it doesn't matter if miss unicerse comes sit on your lap...
I've had my heart broken broken I guess two times, though I am currently recovering from a separation. I fell in love with a long time friend of mine and my brother. We had moments throughout two years, even slept together, but he said even though he was practically in love with me, was afraid to hurt me and he felt like he wasn't ready for a relationship that could jeopardize our friendship. Next thing I know, he blows me off to pursue a girl that treated him like crap and kissed other guys in front of him, even thought they were supossed to be "together". It took me close to another year yo get over that, and it still stings a bit looking back.
And then I started casually seeing this guy and we both instantly clicked and he even said so himself, I felt chemistry in the non sexual area like I have never before and the sex was amazing and he wanted to see me all the time and we talked and was amazing... until I find out he had a girlfriend and he chose to keep seeing her and just see me as a casual thing and I told him I wasn't ok with that and it felt soooo bad because it really did feel like we were meant to be together, and took me a long time to get over him.

Soft4u · Accepted Answer

It hasn't happened to me personally so I can't say I know how you feel, I have a close girlfriend it happened to some time ago and she hasn't been the same since.
It's not fair to you if someone says forget him, get on with your life you're still young. That's not helping you at all in fact it only makes you feel worse.
My girlfriend loved that guy so much, they were together always you can say they were joined at the hip. All that made it worse, to go from always to nothing is a hell of a long way.
I'm not writing this thinking I have the solution, I wish I did, I'm writing this to let you know you're not alone, there are so many girls & guys that feel like you do, but somehow you still feel all alone.
If you heard this before I'm sorry to say it again but the only thing that's going to help you is time and being involved with someone else again.
Old memories can destroy a person, but you can always make new memories.
If you're like me and so many other people you don't handle losing someone well, it's normal to feel like you do, please remember you're not walking alone there's many more walking with you.
Wishing you the best.

CherryRoseChampange · Answer

Not with a partner, no, but I received a broken heart from a family member. Shattered me for a long time regardless.

Chikky · Answer

Nah i haven't and I will seriously punch him in the face if he tries it😂😂

Goodwifie · Answer

It feels like someone really close to you has died.

sawno · Answer

The most heart shattering moment for me was when i discovered that while i gave so much love and flexibility to the world most people where just selfish and cold and didn't do the same when i needed it. The flame in my heart went out and my passion was gone, it felt just as intense as a really bad heart break but this time also my reason to life was gone given the fact i had no purpose anymore.

So i did the sensible thing and i wen't to the most caring and loving friend i knew, someone who was like me and always lifted others up. She reminded me that the world was indeed very cold, but its my purpose to lift it up regardless and share my positivity even if others do not return the favor. Her care reignited the flame within my heart, it was very feint but it grew to full strength in about 3 days and at that moment i was my old self again.

My most memorable and beautiful memory of the year was the realization of who i truly am. I felt my soul, as when i was at my lowest i have ever been deep down i was still positive, happy, energetic and full of love, and my friend surely helped me to ignite my fire again and tab into it.

As for you since i can't give a hug ill do the second thing you love, give advice. You may struggle with the fact that you can't let go because you don't have a reason to. Yes, sure he chose someone over you but that doesn't make him less perfect and knowing that makes it seemingly impossible to heal after all you clearly strongly love him.

But there is something its time for you to become aware off as when your aware it will grant you the freedom to move on. Love isn't the same as having feelings for someone and while you will probably always love him its possible to let the feelings (and therefore the pain) go.

If i have to use my analytical superpowers your probably stuck in a fantasy, you love him so he often pops up in your mind sometimes when you don't even want to. And when it does you fantasize about how things could be, you might even masturbate to those fantasies at times. The problem is that those fantasies are real to your subcontious, after all if you are angry at someone a fantasy about the anger can ignite that within you right? Same with love, if you fantasize about him romentically or sexually you send your mind a signal its working out and that your together.

Zsazsabear · Answer

Yes, so many ways... when my first love left me after eight years to be with someone else, our little girl was just 1 mth old, I was devastated, and scared, I took him back a few mths later, he walked out on me a two days after having a partial mastectomy because of breast cancer... I thought my world ended again, but I thank whoever is watching over us every single day that ended, he's a narcissistic control freak, and continues to cheat on his now wife, even though they've three children together. .. bullet dodged 😃
Another time with the guy I'm seeing now, he finished with me out of the blue one day (long story... he was really depressed )
I learned so much from that break up though, I learned how to put myself first, take care of myself, love and rely on myself, I learned to not have any expectations, not want to fix everyone and not to take anyone else's actions personally! We where apart for almost three years, I did a lot of work on myself, and while I'm mad about him and things are going great, I'm so grateful for that time apart to realise that I'll never worry about being on my own again!
There is always a lesson in there somewhere xx

charlotte5 · Answer

I was with someone for 3 years in college. He was the first person i liked , I think he is so smart and care about the society not just himself. He said he didn't like me in that way first so I gave up , then out of blue he suddenly started to ask me to hang out. I thought it's because he changed his mind so we became best friend then friends with benefits for 3 years. Its painful 3 years bc he kept saying 'relationship sucks' but sometimes hit on other girls , and called me jealous for pointing it out. We had a lot fight and eventually he settled with his female roommate who we had a big fight over. That one killed all my self esteem and I have no idea why I was so dumb to stay

Now we stay at the same school for graduate school. We haven't talked for 2 years but Guess what? The guy I dated for 3 months this year wouldn't commit to me because his best friend is my ex ( they met after we broke ) . And he heard a bunch bad things from my ex and his girlfriend ( his then roommate). So this past failure is still casting shadow on me.
It took me a while to realize my self value isn't depended on those people , and improving myself and realizing what i deserve is the only way I ll be able to get what I want and avoid being used

aicarg · Answer

Worst heartbreak was learning something wasn't working between my biological dad and mum. I understood that my dad was always resenting the things he did, but didn't have the self control and love to change for the better. My most potent sad memory of him was being awoken by hearing him and my mum screaming downstairs, then him coming up and hugging me tightly saying "I'm so sorry". My biological dad was emotionally and physically abusive as well as had an uncontrollable drinking issue.
______________________

My first serious boyfriend and whom I lost my virginity to, wrecked me. Though the beginning of the relationship seemed promising, after about 4 months, he got bored and influenced by the wrong crowd to find someone new. He cheated on me with a girl I highly despised and actually planned for me to catch him in action to truly indicate he had moved on. I was so upset and out of impulse I let a friend influence me to sleep with a rebound which shattered me more. I was young - 17.

AnberlinCanucks · Answer

My first marriage was supposed to be my only marriage but then he started abusing me and then he strangled me in front of my kids. It took me a long time to put myself back together from that. Its been over 6 years since i left for good. I left 9 times before that. I’ve been seeing a guy for almost 6 months now. He’s the first semi-serious Guy since my ex husband. I still have healing to do but this guy is patient and understanding and he has broken my walls down and is healing my heart and teaching me to trust again.

Halligan · Answer

Although I have been cheated on and abused on, it didn’t shatter me. My ex husband did, although I never showed it. He was verbally, mentally, and sexually abusive to me. He was neglectful and mentally abusive to the kids. He threatened to kill them because they were disabled. It took me years to get out. He even poked holes in the condom preventing me from leaving for another year and half. The divorce and custody battle took 2 years and $20k of my family’s money. (He didn’t want the kids, but he didn’t want me to have them). I was celibate for 4 years after I left.

The first man I dated/kissed/etc I ended up marrying. He accepts them for who they are. They call him “Daddy”.

Jaded214 · Answer

I haven't but my friend is currently going through it and my heart breaks for her. She fell for a guy that was emotionally unavailable from the start and just kept leading her on. He never wanted to be with her but also didn't wanna let her go. He would literally freak out whenever she tried to end things with him but would keep her at arms length whenever she said she wanted to be more than friends. Psycho shit. He would tell her that he wanted to be single but would always be sleeping around with other girls. And every time she would try to leave, he would convince her not to. And now this time he's saying he has a girlfriend. And she's devastated. And he STILL don't want her to leave.

Finchie40 · Answer

This is why the best thing to do is look at love differently, look at your life as a journey, your walking a path of life the best thing to focus on is ypurself and know love can not be forced it can only be guided , treat someone the way you want to be treated , if they choose to walk away from you as much as it hurts you hot to keep walking your path of life. My heart has been sbattered a few times until i learned to love this way , exes are just memories so your best to just keep walking your path and eventually someone will stand by your side and love You the way you love them that wants to stand by your side tip the end , remove selfishness out of your life and make your current partner your priority wear their shoes like they should be wearing yours , We can only guide love we can't force it

Madkeyra00 · Answer

I had my heart broken but never shattered. Sometimes things are very drastic that happens to you. You have every right to grieve but to have to pick yourself up and move on. Even if picking yourself up means getting therapy. You cannot let one tragedy in life ruin all that could and will be. I had an ex I loved with all my heart that wanted to control me and did every terrible thing you can think of to control me. He dumped me and got a new girlfriend. When I was falling apart over that he brought her in my face. When that didn’t work he dated my friend. He stalked me spied on me put my relatives in situation so he can have a reason to harass me. He tried calling me crazy to lower my self esteem. He did all this trying to break me instead of accepting I was over him and moving on. It went on for 5 years until I got a real boyfriend.

Ellie-V · Answer

My worst heartbreak I had was when my best friend/ cousin died from cancer. I got tested soon after and found out i had cancer to. Double whammy 😣
I admit, for a while my world was completely destroyed and it was like I couldn’t feel anything. It’s not a romantic heartbreak but it nearly destroyed me.

GodHatesKaitlin · Answer

I've had my heart broken before, but not shattered.
Basically this chick from a different school asked me out and I said yes. We dated and I would go over to her house and talk and stuff. One day, I went to her house uninvited and caught her making out with another girl. Of course, I was very upset so I ran home. I later found out she was only using me to get her ex back and she didn't even like me in the first place. She didn't like me and found me annoying.

HoneyButterCup525 · Answer

Yes very much so. I loved and adored him dearly but he just didn't feel that way about me even though our relationship went on for 5 years in the end his preference (which I tried so hard to deal with) won him over eventually.

I would remain happy and confident for him cause I didn't want to lose him but his heart went to someone else instead. He did like me and found me attractive but its didn't win him.

Not only I felt second best but he would tell me he would never leave or abandon me and I believed it. But I also realised that life is more and I am more than I think :)

undercoverbadgirl · Answer

I’ve had two, the first one broke my heart, the second opened all the wounds that haven’t even healed yet. Firstly a guy who I was madly in love with - I’ve never felt anything like that to anyone before, whom I dated for a while fell out of love with me all of a sudden after telling me he couldn’t imagine life without me. He tortured me, for a month not breaking up with me but also not giving me any love. Turned out he was just hanging out with a new girl that he’s had a crush on for ages. I've also done everything with him sexually except actual sex, so it hurt twice more due to that.

jazmiine · Answer

I have been forever in love with a boy since I was in grade school. I'm already 22 and I still feel for him. I have tried confessing through text and he said he likes me too but since then we only communicated through text and their is no actual meet ups. Then when we were in college he texted me he does not like me. I cried and had my heart aching for years until after I graduated I actually forgot and again I remembered him. And the cycle repeats, me confessing him responding positively but us never meeting. I come to realize we can never be because if we were then the years we've known each other we would have been together for good. :(

AtomicMuseliBar · Answer

I've had my heart broken, but not shattered. and that was a one sided crush and she never knew. actually, i never even realised i liked her until years after it. basically i had a crush on my teacher when i was in primary school and she had to leave because she was moving country to be with her fiance. of course, I was devastated when i found out that she wouldn't be coming back.

Atlana · Answer

I have a girl friend who was in a relationship for 10 years. He left her, but the relationship was toxic and not good for both of them in the end. She was so heartbroken. She was literally crying all day, didn't eat or sleep, it was crazy. It's been 2 years since then and she still have feelings for him. He does too tho, but It's better when they're separated, I guess

CheckPlease · Answer

I definitly had then I met a great girl.

Ibeji · Answer

I had my heart broken by a close friend who manipulated me into a dangerous situation.

When it comes to romance, I try to break my heart before they can. It’s easier to heal from the pain if you’re the one inflicting it.

QueenofCups · Answer

My ex cheated on me early in our relationship. I never told anyone cause I was embarrassed and I blamed myself. Then he dumped me to fuck someone else. Now he wants me back. After much soul searching, I realized I'm better off without him.

Lavenderella · Answer

I was about to confess to a guy after graduating from high school with him, built up my courage & he confessed to my friends, & myself too that he's not interested in woman. That's 4-5 years back. Still feeling empty.

Nik1hil · Answer

Seriously..
That is why I don't play with my heart..
Why break 1 heart you have..
Go rash riding it is fun..
And you have 605 Bones to keep at risk..

And as far it is about that Guy. I am pretty sure.. He regrets.. And thinks about you in his sleepless nights..
What it would have been if he stayed..

Kenni · Answer

I have. More times than i can count. And I've done some things I'm not proud of in results. But I'm still alive. And what keeps me going is praying that there might be a nice life waiting for me.

ShoeGirl24 · Answer

Yes I have. He made me think it was OK to love him but truth is he isn’t capable of love & can't love me back.

catj9999 · Answer

Yeah I've been upset I really liked a guy a couple of years ago and he just kept hitting me and using it to his advantage

Beatrice23 · Answer

It happened to me. I was completely lost for a guy and he just wanted sex from me. When I found it out it was horrible.

Alice2398 · Answer

Yes and honestly one parts trying to move on from him and the other still has hope but one day he'll feel the same again but I highly doubt it.

JazziePooh21 · Answer

I have been cheated on by an ex. It broke my heart. But I learn I can be by myself than be with someone that is going to belittle me and didn't really like me. He broke up with me to go fuck someone else then felt bad for what he done. He wanted to get back with me. He was just a user and wasn't really about shit. He thought it was ok to fuck around while he was dating me and after cheated on me. But claim to love me and say I was the only girl for him.

Knowbetternow1 · Answer

Yes mam, my wife cheated on me two years ago. 21 years married and I thought we had an amazing relationship. It’s easy to settle in and take things for granted. We’re still together but it’s been tough. I always saw her as my trusted best friend. Not sure I’ll ever see her that way again. She does seem regretful, I’m trying to believe her. Her friend ran like a scared little baby so sometimes I feel like she’s here because he isn’t around.

Jessicaml · Answer

I feel like I’m dying From a broken heart right now... it keeps getting harder not any easier

Kazzza · Answer

Babe message me, my hearts been beyond shattered, I’ve wanted to die, and I’d love to share my takes on it x

JeniferJenko95 · Answer

Yes, my dad did when I was 9. Then again and again until I had enough.  But I’m good now. Haha

Theft · Answer

I have. The girl I have mentioned several times was my heart brake. My first true love. Lol! She will never know how much I love her. But she a new love that I know she will feel the same way about that I felt for her...

vald9inches · Answer

yes i have

ImagineSketchy · Answer

Yeah. When she said no, she broke my desire to ever find anyone. Haven't had a love interest in 5 years. I really don't think it will change. Probably because I compare other women to her and they just don't stack up to her.

crazynlazynhot · Answer

Yes i have, I cried for about 2 mths daily for someone who I have never met in real. I still love that person but then Im better now.

WhereAmI · Answer

Shattered? How is that any different to a regular heatbreak? Can't relate.

loveslongnails · Answer

I've had my heart broken, but I believe you can recover from any matters of the heart. Much of what we call love is an illusion anyway, and when you look back and examine it without your blinders on, you'll probably see more clearly what it was.

Jerre · Answer

Yes, when my fiance’ was killed in an auto accident 2 weeks before our wedding - that was 20 years ago.

DanBi03 · Answer

I've been hurt definitely but never completely shattered. I don't like giving other people that much power and I believe in the cliche "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

monkeynutts · Answer

*hugs* you have a lovely vibrant personality. Yeah we all loose out in the game of love.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

I've had heart-breaking moments but I refused to let them take over me.

ManOnFire · Answer

Indeed. Was one of the most traumatic, painful things I have to say I ever experienced.

Callum1999 · Answer

Well I was born with a hole in my heart if that counts?

AydenHazor · Answer

Ex wife cheated on and left me sending me into a pretty deep depression for several years, so yes, I'd say so

AuroraRoseat · Answer

No, I have the good fortune to never have had my heart broken. I'm sorry that's happened to you.

Knighted2170 · Answer

Yes. It's beyond painful to remember. Only way, I will tell that story on here is by message.

Charlotte_May · Answer

My clothes are smooth and honest, my heart is cold and hard

jimmy2 · Answer

My wife passed away at 54. Took 5 years to get over. She never be with me again. My loss forever

Lance1965 · Answer

Yes 3 times with each time being slightly worse than the time before. I think by the third time you never really recover from it.

just_a_potato · Answer

Yeah now I don't trust people anymore, we all die alone anyway :3

winterfox10 · Answer

Yeah, it happened to me 3 years ago... I've never quite recovered, probably never will.

0asis · Answer

Yes, I have. I was devastated when my SO (now ex) cheated on me. Man, that hurt so bad. And then when he broke up with me, my heart was destroyed

pleasestopthis · Answer

Yes I have. I still have some issues to work on before getting into a new relationship.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

Nope. I don’t depend on a girl to complete me to the point that I’m completely crushed... I would be down and sad as normal, losing someone... but never to the point of no return. I find that pathetic, honestly!

happychappy999 · Answer

Yes l have and it was a girl on girls and guys l still love all of her she knows that and l would take her back in a heartbeat she only needs to contact me and we can start afresh

DaChillCookie · Answer

Way too many times to count, B.

African_Queen0309 · Answer

That’s why I don’t involve emotion when I have a “crush,” it’s usually just finding them attractive

Have you ever had your heart BEYOND BROKEN, to shattered?

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Have you ever had your heart broken?

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