When a girl asks you to be her boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

I've been seeing this girl for roughly a month. We've gone on a few dates but mostly we have a lot of sex, has to be over a dozen times now.

The other day she asked me if I thought we could be more serious like boyfriend-girlfriend.

I told her I wanted to wait a bit more so we wouldn't make haste decisions.

I just don't like the idea of being in a relationship after a month and then say it ends a month later. I've previously dated women for roughly a couple of months and I do not refer to them as ex-girlfriends because I think it magnifies how many times a person has had a real relationship and failed no?

I've never seen two women sexually at the same time, and I told her I only care about her for the time being and would be upset if she was seeing another guy.

But I just think girlfriend-boyfriend is more official than I am ready to be at the time.

Or am I wrong?

[TheoryOfAvarice]

That poor girl, she deserves better than you.

Start treating her better or otherwise just let her go. She obviously cares a lot more about you than you care about her.

You're not "ready"? B.S. You shouldn't have started getting involved with her if you weren't willing to commit. Make a move and show her some compassion, damnit.

[Asker]

You don't know me, at all. Outside of the information I have provided on this situation.

I have cooked for her, and spent time talking and taking her out.

I am also not seeing any other women.

But a relationship is a serious thing to me.

I'm sorry I don't call every girl I go out with a few times my girlfriend, I think that's presumptuous.

[TheoryOfAvarice]

I don't care.

This same thing happened to me last year. We spent lots of time together, slept together, sometimes he made me breakfast. And I foolishly assumed after a while that we were boyfriend and girlfriend, in a relationship. Not so.

Not long after I started assuming that, he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship and stuff.

It's such bullshi t.

You either want to be with her or you don't. Do not lead her on and confuse her.

[Asker]

Look I'm sorry for your situation, but a relationship to me is a serious thing, both emotionally and socially.

You can be exclusive but not yet in a relationship.

A relationship requires often, sacrifices I'm not willing to make yet.

[TheoryOfAvarice]

Don't be sorry, it sorted itself out.

If you're not ready to be dedicated to her, well, I don't know, she better be patient then.

[sarah1991]

how can you be exclusive and not in a relationship? kinda defeats the point for me...

[Anonymous]

You're just using her for sex then. Break it off. This is the carbon copy of what happened to me like 6 months ago.

[Opinion Owner]

Did you actually say to her "I care about you for the time being"? That's a really sh*tty thing to say.

[toulouse]

lol yea kinda haha, "Maybe not by 5 30 pm, but for now , yea."

better to just say you don't want to rush

[Asker]

No I didn't say time being. I said I cared for her and only her.

[Opinion Owner]

what's your middle name? I want to see if I know this kid.

[squishy]

in my opinion if you have slept with her you should be boyfriend and girlfriend, but I may be wrong. but honestly this is your decicion if you feel strongly about her than go for it, what is the point of not risking it and having a relationship. but its really up to you

[FrancoBattiato]

'wait a bit more so we wouldn't make haste decisions.'

'few dates'

'lot of sex'

As a 150 year old gentleman I cannot really comprehend this, it makes not a shard of sense!

[Asker]

Sometimes we've met up and just had sex, and then talked after.

Going out is a date.