What's the funniest thing that a partner has drunkenly confessed to you?

Question

TeddyBear78 · Accepted Answer

My girlfriend was born in Germany but moved to America early in life. She only knew a little German. One night she got wasted. In the car ride home she went from drunk convo to str8 German. It was scary as hell because when I asked what she was saying I guess she explained it in German. I stopped the car she threw up and went back to English. Weird!

blondfrog · Accepted Answer

When I was working at a bar/restaurant this one lady drinking with her friends told me to come to her table so she could kiss me.

IAmRedThunder · Accepted Answer

My best friend told me he loved me (when I was in a committed relationship with someone else). And that he’s always loved me. And that he wants me to leave my boyfriend for him. AND that he’s masturbated to my Facebook profile pictures. AND that he prays to god every night so that I’d have sex with him.

Desconhecida · Accepted Answer

My ex used to say hurtful things when he was drunk. The only one I thought it was funny was the one he admitted he sucked in bed. Not in a good way

Kaytiee · Answer

When I first started dating my boyfriend me (16) him (17) I didn’t have sexual experience, but I was a “sexual” girl, I had no experience but I was educated as far as a virgin could be.

I always asked him why he wasn’t sexual and that like, I wanted him to be sexual etc, but he didn’t even suggest anything at all, I thought he must be unattracted to me?

Then one night he got drunk on call, and was throwing up in the toilet he just kept saying.

“I love you Katie, I love you so fucking much” “You’re so fucking sexy” “I do want to do sexual things with you trust me” “I love you so fucking much Katie” “I just thought you might not want it”

God I had a good laugh 😂 after that night we sexually clicked a lot and had great times, so I guess something good came out of it. Since we were in the beginning of the relationship and didn’t know where we stood, it was a very useful “ice breaker?”

Damn I miss him a lot, oh well! Relationships end and that’s life at the end of the day!

Bananaman177 · Answer

That she lost her virginity to the family dog and carried on having sex with him for years.

This was way before I ever heard of the "dogpill," so when I did hear about it, it wasn't quite as shocking to me as it is to most guys. But it's definitely way more common than I would have thought.

What's the funniest thing that a partner has drunkenly confessed to you?

If you're a woman who fucks her dog, give me a downvote so other guys can see how many of you there are out there.

megaman242 · Answer

She went to a friend's house after drinking some sugar free energy drinks. They where out in the backyard and she felt her belly rumble, she run inside but didn't make it, she shat her self a tiny bit. Lucky for her she had her bag and she could change clothes after a quick shower. But what about the old pants? She simply put it in a shopping bag and flung it over the fence and pretended it never happened.

justawhiteman · Answer

she said and I quote: "woaha... your a terrible guy haahaa" and then fell on the floor

MotherEarth2020 · Answer

That they wondered what it would be like to have boobs and a vagina. If they had them, they'd never leave the house, cuz they'd be too busy playing with the new girly equipment.

Ronald_25 · Answer

I've always wondered what it would be like if our genders were switched and we had sex. I bet I'd you'd make a much better girl than guy. 🙈😂

Anonymous · Answer

"I molested a corpse". She works in the sector by the way.

Anonymous · Answer

He had sex for money. Not funny but sure was a confession.

Creepazoid · Answer

she would text back late on purpose because she didn't want to see "too eager"

BrotherFrost · Answer

The one i did drink with kept herself in check at all times, so she never got drunk. She was like a female version of me. Only hotter...

Moonchild714 · Answer

He had a deep dark secret to tell me... He is an Alcoholic!! I laughed and said No Shit DUMBASS!!! LOL

SarahsSummer · Answer

I can't think of any funny confessions from a partner but a funny drunken confession from a friend once was that she named her vibrator Trent Resner.

clampfan101 · Answer

A girl’s not going to be my partner in the first place if she’s a drunk.

_SOARER_ · Answer

Never got drunk with any of my previous girlfriends

Agape93 · Answer

Not drunk but high. Admitted she ate her dogs food because she thought it was Chinese food

mermaidia_lol · Answer

It wasn't a confession, but it was nonsense.

Anonymous · Answer

I once had a female tell me she has her dog get her off when she was really horny. Which was disturbing. But she said that apparently more females do that than not.

So now anytime I see a female with a dog... i know why.

Agem123 · Answer

That he loved me, lol

updog45 · Answer

My buddy told me about how he used to steal and strip cars in the 80s. It was funny because he later became a cop.

azeh21 · Answer

I accidentally came out as bisexual to all my moms side of the family. Did I mention they are all homophobic rednecks.

Anonymous · Answer

What she has put in her vagina.. Lol.. Vagina stories..

Anonymous · Answer

I was told I was loved and being cuddled up... do people show their real feelings when they are drunk?

keenaonthemoon · Answer

That he got to touch celeb boobs

Mrblooo · Answer

My friend told me I said he was ugly n he told me I was to n we both laughed

1828avaava1828 · Answer

lol there's been a few!!

Loving_Husband · Answer

That she's had sex with a woman

TacosRAwesome · Answer

No idea. I'm usually the lightweight.

Anonymous · Answer

That I was better endowed than her ex-husband

lovelyboy85 · Answer

one tits is bigger more of one

What's the funniest thing that a partner has drunkenly confessed to you?

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