A guy likes me but I'm taken?

Question

So I already have a boyfriend, but lately this one guy has really been hitting on me, Not in the freakish sense, he seems like a really nice guy, but how do I get the point across I'm taken? I don't want to hurt his feelings but I don't want him having any more of a crush on me then he already does, How do I get him pointed in a different direction without straight out saying "I already have a boyfriend"? I don't want to be mean because he's two of my friends brother... help? He's been facebooking me like crazy and today he got my phone number so he started sending me messages on that too. I don't want to hurt his feelings too bad, and I don't want to make a big deal about it... Should I just let him run out of steam to keep persuing me?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Look, there's no other way to go about this but to say, "I'm already taken." or something along those lines. You can't be nice about this. There's no polite, subtle way to say it. You. Are. Taken. There's no reason to try and soften it up. He won't get it until you just tell him. If you try to hint at it then he'll just keep persisting because you never said you didn't like him flirting with you. You have you it makes you feel uncomfortable because you're already taken and ask him to please stop. That's not mean, that's not rude, just say it nicely. It's fact. He's a big boy, a grown up, he can handle it.

The worst thing you could do is let it keep going. THAT is mean, THAT is leading him on and THAT will make your boyfriend angry. It'll make him think you like the attention and that you want him to keep following you and that you like him and may be cheating, who knows. All kinds of conclusions could be drawn. You'll ruin your friendships more by leading him on and letting him keep pursuing you than by just telling him flat out. And you'll embarrass and shame him more.

I had this problem, my friend was flirting with me, A LOT. But I didn't really understand flirting. I mean it was such a weird concept, hell I had to ask my mom what flirting was (I was 18). And I didn't recognize it, so I didn't say anything about my boyfriend because I didn't find it necessary. Other than in passing conversation "Oh my boyfriend said... he has... I'll talk later I'm going to see my boyfriend..." Whatever. Well we hung out one day and the second he sat down to watch the movie with me on the sofa his hands were down my pants/he was trying to get me to touch him. Needless to say that situation was MUCH WORSE than if I had recognized the signs and just told him out right "I have a boyfriend". You do recognize the signs so just fracking tell him.

There is nothing mean about it, so long as you don't yell at him or accuse him of stuff. Just tell him the truth, straight out. Sometimes guys need that to get the point across.

italykam · Accepted Answer

There's nothing wrong with saying you have a boyfriend. I have had to do that several times. I did add, I am not trying to be mean or anything but I have a boyfriend. It just made it clear that there were lines that weren't to be crossed. I mean it's OK to talk just as long as he knows there's no chance.

Phoenix52 · Accepted Answer

You can view him as a friend, and the next time you talk casually to him, bring up a topic saying "my boyfriend likes to..."

Something along those lines. Mention your boyfriend in a casual convo and then he'll know.

And if he STILL keeps hitting on you afterward, asking for a date, or spamming your FB wall, then you have a real jack@ss who doesn't get the hint. Lots of guys are sadly that way - they're too f*cking stubborn to quit.

Now that I think of it more, you DO have a problem. You might have led him on too far. When you make certain actions in which the guy thinks you like him, he may not want to stop pursuing you. Facebook, phone number = I think she likes me!

So either mention your BF, or else ignore him when he comes around.

anon191919 · Accepted Answer

have you try'd formally introducing him to your boyfriend. letting the guy know who he is and letting you boyfriend know who he is? if your boy friend will see him as a threat then the other boy will probably get a bit scared, and he will know you have a man that will protect you. but some time you just have to be mean and flat out tell him to leave you alone. if he don't respect your wishes then, it means he's a creep and then you can take legal actions to prevent him from coming around. but if you don't tell him the hard truth you leave him to believe what he wants!

thisGUYknows · Answer

just tell him. plain and simple. I mean its a plus if you can sneak it in a conversation but you gotta be prepared to lay it down. I've made out with two girls who tell me later that they have a boyfriend. how do you think I felt? save their feelings now while you can.

bellybuttonlint · Answer

Well, you can casually say "my boyfriend got me this over the weekend" or something. Try to throw it in there.

But this is why you tell people that you have a boyfriend early on. If you don't, this is what you can expect. I always think that girls who don't say they have a boyfriend early on means two things at least:

a) You like attention

b) You really like the guy

Or maybe

c) You don't really like your boyfriend as much as the guy you're talking to

pharaoh_lover48118 · Answer

no I think you have to show him your boyfriend like get your boy friend with you to a place you are pretty sure he in so when he will see I think he will get it.

chrislight · Answer

May be he knows you have a boyfriend and doesn't care?

A guy likes me but I'm taken?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

A guy likes me but I'm taken?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.