Is it ok to text other girls?

[TDstumpe48]

Question? I have know problem with my guy being friends with girls, but when they text all the time and they are married/ boyfriends and you feel he talks more to them then you what would you think? Let me clarify I trust him and he doesn’t hide anything from me or I know he wouldn’t cheat but you don’t like it and I’m not jealous I just don’t understand it. And I have told him how I feel about this. What should I do to get over this? Help please

Updates

+1 y

Well they live in other states and some are his ex girlfriend. So it most likely not meet them. They know about me. It’s just hard for me to watch him text so much to them. I feel that he should talk to me more then them.

Updates

+1 y

Yes a lot. He said he doesn’t understand why it bothers me and he doesn’t give me a reason to not trust. I trust him just don’t like it. I guess I feel if you with me then you shouldn’t need to talk to other girls. Know it ok to say hi and etc. to friends but that’s all. I think I need advice on how to deal with it and maybe understand that it’s ok. If that makes sense

[Cormac995]

It's fine for him to have friends that are the opposite sex and jealousy is normal. Just don't let it control you because you will make bad decisions based on it and that will push him away. I would recommend you talk to him about feeling they are getting more attention than you though. Get more time with him. Go on date night more often, cuddle more etc. You should be higher on his priority then they are but he can have friends and love you at the same time. Just ask him to commit more to you and and pay attention it will help build up your relationship. Also make sure he knows that what you want is more of his time not all of it and make sure you tell him that you know he wouldn't cheat but you just want more attention. If he's a good boyfriend you two will find a compromise and a good middle ground of friends and lovers.

[TDstumpe48]

Thanks so much

[Cormac995]

Oh and if he's paying more attention to his phone during your designated lover time ( dates cuddling etc) give him a price of your mind. Answering a text is one thing carrying on a full conversation when he is supposed to be spending time with you is a dick move.

[egarcia1360]

You're right, you're not jealous. Being jealous is wanting what others have. Protecting what's yours is called being territorial. If he really spends more time texting other people than talking to you, that's way out of line. It's one thing for him to have friends, male or female, and another entirely to prioritize them over his significant other. Stand your ground.

[TDstumpe48]

Thanks, I agree

[Via_8662]

I would say to judge it based on how open he is about what he is texting them. I personally have many guy friends, some of which who are married, that I talk to often. On the other hand I've had a boyfriend who did this, his ex included, and I caught him sexting her. I realized there was an issue by how protective he was of his phone when he was texting that specific person. So it's not really a cut a dry answer. Some people can handle having friendships with the opposite sex and some can't.

[TDstumpe48]

What do you do not to let it bother you? I have guy friends but we don’t talk like that. So I don’t get it.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry to say this but why do many people revolve their life solely on their relationships. Don’t you have anything else to do than watching him every minute as he text other people? Why can’t he have friends? Don’t you have another life apart from your love life? Maybe a social life? Work life? Educational life? Or any other?


Don’t be paranoid and just calm down and have fun in your relationship. If you think he’s actually cheating on you then put some effort into finding out!

[TDstumpe48]

Usually I do have a life but Because of the pandemic it has change things. I work in education so I haven’t had a job and I just had my 5 heart surgery so my life has been turned upside down at the time and I can’t go and do things. I think that’s a lot of it and I don’t watch his ever move I tried to do things to entertain myself. But I think it is a little out of hand when he texts on the phone more than normal.

[Opinion Owner]

I’m so sorry dear. Let him know that what his over texting is bothering you. Hopefully he fixes it.

[asshole_]

nope

he should not only not be texting other women, he shouldn't be hanging out or having girl "friends"

Why, if you're his girlfriend, should he need girl "friends"

that makes no sense. if he can tell you anything, why does he need to tell them the same things

it would imply, he's only using you, for sex..

[TDstumpe48]

We been together for 2 years and hopefully plan on getting married. But I think the same one some of your opinion. I don’t think it’s wrong to say hi and etc. But not all the time.

[asshole_]

i guarantee you, it's not a good idea for him to be having girl "friends"

[TDstumpe48]

I agree with both of y’all. I do have to tell myself he not doing anything wrong, but also sometimes I think you can put yourself in situations if you’re not careful that’s why I don’t talk to other guys. I even am careful about being on here because I don’t want to ever make him feel like I would do anything to disrespect him. I just want someone else’s opinion on this and someone I don’t know.

[asshole_]

If you don't talk or hangout with other guys, then why do you let him talk to other girls

[TDstumpe48]

I don’t let him but I not his boss we are partners we should be able to make our on Decisions

[asshole_]

if you don't let him then you need to tell him he can't be

[TDstumpe48]

Ok question? If I did that then he would tell me that we can’t be together and I love him with all my heart and he loves me but he doesn’t like someone to tell him he can’t do something when he isn’t doing anything wrong. He shows me the text if I ask but I just don’t understand it or like it. So I am trying to figure out how to deal with it or do I just say I can’t and go on with my life. Knowing that he is what I want and believe that God sent him to me.

[asshole_]

I'm agnostic

And i think he's a fucking retard, that's what i think

[TDstumpe48]

Thanks

[Ripper_E]

They are just friends and you shouldn't let it bother you unless he gives you reason to.

[TDstumpe48]

Yes your right. But how do I deal with him texting them? That’s what I an trying to deal with and understand why he talks to them so much.

[Ripper_E]

Have you talked to him about that? As long as you don't approach him aggressively, he should answer you just fine. If he can't then he is hiding something.

[TDstumpe48]

Yes a lot he thinks I should understand.

[Ripper_E]

You should understand lol unless he gives you reason not to. You just have to keep telling yourself that. There are times where I want to be angry and let lose, but that would be very easy, so I don't.

[TDstumpe48]

I agree with both of y’all. I do have to tell myself he not doing anything wrong, but also sometimes I think you can put yourself in situations if you’re not careful that’s why I don’t talk to other guys. I even am careful about being on here because I don’t want to ever make him feel like I would do anything to disrespect him. I just want someone else’s opinion on this and someone I don’t know.

[Ripper_E]

Yea I get that, but he could get ran over by a car if he goes outside, Would you prefer he never leaves? You have to trust and also live your life and trust everything will be fine. Otherwise you'll drive yourself nuts. And I am not here to be cause any "disrespect".

[TDstumpe48]

Yes you are right I do drive myself crazy and I am trying everything I can to do things so it doesn’t bother me. That’s what I think I need help with to not go crazy and know he is mine and he shows me the text if I asked. It’s just something I don’t understand or get.

[Ripper_E]

You could talk to someone about it if it helps get it off your chest.

[TDstumpe48]

Yeah I could but that’s just hard to do because I don’t want to talk to my friends because they be on my side I want someone that doesn’t know other of us.

[Ripper_E]

A therapist. Someone on here who is willing.

[TDstumpe48]

Yeah! If I can find that person on here maybe. I wouldn’t do a therapist. Thanks so much. You had some great points.

[Ripper_E]

Of course. No problem.

[WilliamY]

Sounds like you are jealous even when you claim you are not.

[TDstumpe48]

No not jealous, just don’t understand it. Back ground on me I was married and he cheated and I trusted him so I didn’t ask questions so known I am more aware of things and I asked who he talking to. Just would like to know how to deal with him talking to other girls

[WilliamY]

Sorry you got burned before. I would suggest any girls he talks to you be sure to meet and hang out with. If they get to know you, it’s less likely they will cheat with him.

[WilliamY]

Yes, if he’s your boyfriend he should talk to you more than them. If he’s ignoring you to talk to them when you have quality time together it’s reasonable to ask him to put down his phone and do an activity with you instead. Certainly if he’s choosing his exes over you all the time that’s no bueno. Have you told him how that makes you feel?

[WilliamY]

Understanding why he does it: he has a comfort level with them and it’s an outlet to vent, vent about you and other issues in his life.

But in my opinion any exes he should block if he’s serious about you. Also I would suggest one night you ask him to tell you anything he may have been afraid to tell you in the past, promise him you will not get mad.. that may open him up and make him more willing to talk to you than others.

[TDstumpe48]

Thanks, I appreciate you opinion

[JesseCraft]

Texting female friends yeah that's completely fine

[In_Trance]

Not ok