Is it okay that I don't want to have anything to do with a girl once she friend zoned me?

[red324]

I mean if she wants to show up at my front door in naughty lingerie then that's fine, but other than that I tell them what I'm looking for and that's that. I'm looking to date a girl have sex make things exclusive and take things further in getting to know them, but for whatever reason I could have been head over heels in love with her and it just kills my respect for her when they say lets be friends.

Maybe that's just me and maybe that's immature, but thats the only way I know how to deal with it. I'm not going to be that guy that hangs around with hopes that something will come of it later on. If she hits me up 6 months from now all on her own then that's one thing I guess, but it is what it is.

Opinions?

[ShadezMcgee]

If that's how you feel and want it to be, then that is for the best. Why put yourself in a situation when you are lying and denying yourself what you want? Stick with the decision and keep looking for other women.

Plus, you don't lose and she doesn't either. She says no and you move on, but at least you had the balls to go for and say what you want. The hard part is staying congruent with what you said to her in that regard.

[red324]

It's kind of like reverse psychology too. You aren't sad like she thinks you were going to be and it kind of puts the ball back in your court.

[mobiusforniner]

The friend zone is a misconception. Women don't just have "close" guy friends. If having sex first is what you want, without first earning her trust, her respect; her heart; then I think you'll receive the quality of relationship you deserve.

[Anonymous]

I don't see a problem with that. If I'm being friend zoned then I do the same thing too. I mean why stick around with high hopes that that person is someday going to magically fall in love with you when they have made it clear that they only see you as a friend. I definitely do not want to stick around only to get crushed when I see them with someone else

[mindNsoul]

I think you are doing the right thing. Protecting your heart and setting up boundaries is healthy and good.

[red324]

She ruined me for the next girl though. After all the things she said leading me on I'm never going to believe anything a girl tells me again.

[mindNsoul]

is it okay if I ask when did this happen? and what age group are you dating

[red324]

A few days ago. She's like 22 but she's more mature and seems to have way less emotional issues than any girl I've met in the past. The problem is she's 22 and has lots of drive and energy which I love, but she tries starting off on step 25 when she's on step 3.

[mindNsoul]

The wound is still freah and tinder so I think the way you're feeling now is completely understandable and absolutely normal. I'm sorry tho that you are hurt.

Sometimes we need to change our dating pool so we get different results. Whether that being where you pick these girls from, their age, their values and beliefs, or personality. You say you keep getting rejected so perhaps it is your type that is not doing you any good. Just food for thoughts

[Anonymous]

Happened to me. I used to be bestfriend with a girl. I told her how I felt , she rejected me and after that I didn't feel like we could be friends

So I stopped talking to her. I couldn't move on if I remained friends with her

So you just focus on what's important for you to move one from her.

[red324]

That's the problem. You have to tell them what you want from the beginning. You can't start off as friends.

[JPrez]

I don't blame you. When I've been friend-zoned by girls that I wanted to date, I left. Too much of a waste of time and money.

[Anonymous]

You should only be friends with someone you only want as a friend. If you have any romantic feelings for them, you're shooting yourself in the foot by staying friends.

[red324]

I always make it clear I want to date from the beginning

[Opinion Owner]

That can be counter-productive. Don't show your hand, and things generally go a lot better. If you're getting to know her, but she doesn't know whether you really like her, you're gonna be on her mind a lot more. Play that mystery card

[KatanaSlice]

Yes it's ok for you to do that. She doesn't owe you a romantic relationship but, you don't owe her a friendship it goes both ways so if you don't want to talk to her then don't.

[genericname85]

i think that's normal. probably better for ones mental health.

[Jamie05rhs]

I'll be friends, but I won't put any effort into it.

[InferiorElegy]

It's totally acceptable, gotta move on to the next option.

[KrakenAttackin]

Absolutely. It is not only "OK" it is essential.

[Anonymous]

No it's a good idea I wish I would have done that

[Twalli]

Perfectly reasonable