In what way do men LOVE differently than women?

[Anonymous]

a guy once told me this:

A woman you love, in the masculine psyche, is not just another person. In some ways, she becomes part of your being, part of your identity as a man. Our identity as men, is closely linked to our ability to provide, be responsible, etc.

A woman you love becomes a part of you and sometimes you mistake them to be you. You believe them to be a part of you so close, that they are almost your life.

Other times, you suddenly realize, all this while, the things you thought they were-they are not. They break your trust, they lie, they leave you, they die.

You feel betrayed, your trust feels betrayed.

That’s when you realize, your unity was just an idea. It was no true unity. If it was, how can they leave?

Then you realize, you are still you without them, but some things are missing. The comfort they gave you, their presence, the conversations, the memories, a part of YOUR LIFE is gone.

In what ways do women love differently? Is a woman’s love for a man conditional on her respect/admiration for him?

[Xoxocutekitty]

I think both genders are prone to loving the idea of someone, be it the idea of never being alone, the idea of providing (or being provided for), the idea of someone laughing at their jokes or having someone to turn to.

I don't think genders necessarily love differently, I think people may have different expectations of what it means to loved and whether or not you are entitled to it (sex or dish washing on the reg) or you if it's something irritating enough that you should communicate about it.

On the topic of love, both genders are often taught that the effort you put into a relationship, makes the relationship worth having.

Men often see this as a romantic lump sum down payment, and women see it as a 30 year fixed date rate mortgage. She thinks missing payments = foreclosure in sight.. and he thinks she's not worth having (or affordable) if the romantic down payment is too big or too small.

Along with good credit, you need both to obtain AND maintain a house/strong relationship. I don't think men are more capable of love anymore than women. I think we all know of imbalanced relationships in any sort of skew.

[Pistolpete90]

I think that initially men fall in love with the fantasy of her, what they think she's like, her looks, her style, the way she moves, what type of personality they think she has, etc
Once they get to know her, depending on how she compares to their idealised version, can be what keeps or loses their interest.
In many ways, I think men are more romantic - they fall for the dream whereas I think women are different and their interest/love is based on what the guy is now rather than what they hope he'll become. I think this is why men fall hard so quickly while women can take longer.

[VanillaSalt]

I suggest an alternative. Men want to be needed and women need to be wanted. Men fall in love and every stupid thing works against this love where as women need to be reminded why they fell in love.

I don’t think most people are caliber of love anymore though.

[VanillaSalt]

Capable not caliber.

[Pistolpete90]

@VanillaSalt I disagree with that version for myself - I think people need different things from a partner which depends on their personalities. More independent personalities won't fit that description.

[VanillaSalt]

So could you date a man that doesn’t want you? Or are you arguing that men don’t want to be needed?

[RoyalGuy_PRO]

I'll just mention how i 'love' , not gonna mention girls side. For me, love is about that one person with whom i share an extreme passion for the sort of person they are. I fell in love with this girl who had an amazing heart, extremely generous and really gentle. She was also cool, and empathetic. So... i had concluded that i love her so much is because i always wanted to be like her, so passionate and so cheery. I'll mention that I had started dating her eventually and now, my love is such that, everything she has that I want now seems like a part of me, and that when she would leave, that part of me that i liked and wanted would now not be me anymore

[hellacray]

Well just doing things with you he wouldn't normally do. That goes to show that he likes you enough to do something outside of his comfort zone.

Like for example back in high school this girl I liked invited me to a party. I don't usually like going to party where I don't know a lot of people but I liked the girl so I went. And I don't think she even remembered me being there since she was getting touchy feely with other guys.

So any small gesture could show a guy likes you if he's doing something out of what's considered to be normal for him.

[Yourfriend2021]

Everyone is different. I have never cheated on girl but they have cheated on me, so maybe they just don't have any feelings or are cold hearted. I think it 2 people love each other they care about each other and wouldn't cheat or break up and try to make it work through good times and bad.

[KrakenAttackin]

This man hit it spot on. The problem is that women take a man's love totally for granted and no problems crushing him on every level.

Men show love by fixing things, maintaining things, protecting her directly and indirectly (smoke detectors, security systems, etc) providing things she wants, and giving her a good lifestyle.

[CreamySeed]

It definitely seems like girls take breakups simply. They can go lovey dovey to ice cold whereas men sort of burn slowly even after the breakup they get hooked and turn to alcohol, drugs, violence

[Anonymous]

Man actually truly love woman. Woman on the other hand can't love a man. She loves herself instead. So both are loving the same person.