Do you care less about looks the older you get?

[annabananna]

I really don’t care about someone else’s looks and worry more about a persons inner self. When I was younger I was more shallow.

[HighlyVolatile]

The way I look at it now is that I'm better able to use my eyes. When I was a dumb teenager so wet behind the ears, I see a Pamela Anderson poster with fake breasts and a bombshell body and thought, "Hubba bubba! M want that one!" At the time I was probably using my eyes more in a purely sexual and primitive sense perhaps trying to assess fertility or something of this nature.

As I grew older and more experienced, I started to learn to use my eyes better to assess personalities. So now what I find attractive even to the eyes isn't so much like, "Hubba bubba," but more like I imagine what going on a date is like with a woman: the conversations we'll have, the laughter (if any), the things we'll do, the fun times we'll have (or not). Then if I like that idea and think there's a good chance it's accurate, that's when the woman becomes attractive to me.

[HighlyVolatile]

I do still use looks and my eyes as a puzzle piece to try to figure out who someone is in addition to what they say, how they say it, their body language, tone of voice, their interests, dreams, etc. Yet it's no longer trying to focus on something as superficial as some primitive and often misleading idea of fertility. I'm really using my eyes to help me form a better impression of who she is, and I've found the types of women I find most attractive these days are becoming increasingly unconventional to others because my eyes, along with everything else, are looking for compatibility more than someone conventionally attractive.

[HighlyVolatile]

Another thing that has changed radically for me since I was a boy and teenager is that I no longer find models very attractive. I did when I was young. It's not that I find them unattractive, it's just that models don't give me much to become attracted towards in the way I become attracted these days. So the only celebrities I find attractive even to my eyes these days tend to be actresses or musicians, for example, because they seem to give me much more to become attracted towards personality-wise than a model in a photo.

I've also found curiously in hindsight that almost all the celebrity actresses I find most attractive are very close to my age with few exceptions. I thought some were younger but I look up their age and they're usually in their late 30s or early 40s. And that makes sense, even though I didn't deliberately set out to choose women like that, since the women with whom I most click tended to be around my age (my wife is only a year younger than me, for example).

[Fthcgj]

I completely agree when I was younger I cared about looks mostly out of lack experience with women as I got older had more experience with attractive women and I can tell you they had the worst personality a lot of headache stress drama and constant attention cause most of them have a big ego so now all I want is peace and quiet I had my fun when I was young and learnt a lot of lessons from being with women.

[Fthcgj]

But I think we all had our experiences with attractive women when we are young and unexperienced and was stupid and only cared about looks but that's all the point of growing and learning.

[ohshee]

People are people and everyone wants to look good. I'm like you I find the real beauty is on the inside and I love that
If I can find beauty on the inside I can find beauty on the outside just like character flies are body language or smile or their eyes you have to look deep enough to where you can see it and understand it feel it taste it touch it become it it's not that I don't care about looks I just look in different places for their beauty

[MTC29]

No. Looks actually become more important. Finding a good-looking girl aged 18-30 isn't much of a trick but finding an attractive woman age 50+ is another matter entirely.

My SO is 55, but you wouldn't know it. Yes, she added a few pounds, but her skin is perfect; soft and smooth and without age spots, and she doesn't have the wrinkles in her face that are common for women her age.

As a young woman she went to great lengths to prevent early aging of her skin: always avoiding direct sunlight, always wearing a hat, and using special moisturizers at night. It paid off! She looks great. Even so, 35-year-old guys won't pay her the time of day. Well, that's great for me!

[shaysh87]

She probably doesn’t look that great if 35 yr olds won’t pay her the time of day. You can stop bragging

[annabananna]

I’m sure she’s beautiful:) does she use any laser treatments or just good facial products and stay away from sun? That sun can REAllY age people. I used to work in a tanning salon and I saw girls in their 20s with wrinkles.

[shaysh87]

@annabananna

If she was really that good looking , why would 35 yr olds not give her the time of day?
She might be more attractive than other 50 yr olds but she wouldn’t be more attractive than a 35 yr old

[Thingsby]

Oh, yes... I might as well have my vision blurred like foggy glasses. When I was a teen, all I ever cared about was how handsome a guy was and whether he could afford the petrol we used up to ride around town on our scooter. 😅

But as the years passed, I observed many failed relationships of friends who only went for looks or monetary gain, I realized that I ought to stop being so shallow.

It's far more important to find out if you share the same values, do they care about your well-being, do they have a history of being abusive, and what kind of company do they keep. There are more things to consider, but these came to find currently.

The closest to me caring about looks is their fitness honestly. I have a higher opinion of people who have pride in their appearance and health. Staying fit and healthy takes dedication! it says a lot about a person if you stop to think about it.

[TonyV]

Same, as much as I wish I'd got to fuck more girls and loose my v card earlier, I now realize those pretty girls that caught my eye were just trouble and I dodged some serious headaches, most the hot popular girls from high school had kids really young, could have ended up being me with a kid before I could legally drink.

Horray for being fat and ugly. . . And learning to recognize the bullshit games and redflags of the shallow hot girlfrom the sidelines WITHOUT having a kid.

[The1Girl]

Looks matter to some extent. You can't find someone extremely unattractive and have a sexual relationship with them. But attraction comes in different forms. But looks aren't the be-all and end-all. To have a lasting intimate relationship, personality is what makes you stay. If I find something about the personality extremely off-putting I can't go near them.

[Kaamraj]

In general men do care about looks and fertility irrespective of age. There has been an extensive survey which has shown that men, even as their age increases, their preferred sexual partner is always in her early 20s (a woman's sexual-reproductive prime).

[Fiend88]

Im not sure which direction you mean this question so I'll answer how I interpret it. I think if you grew up being on the more attractive side your goal was to actsensuate those looks and it's a bit taken for granted. As we age and start losing those looks our looks suddenly become very important but in a different way. It becomes more important than ever the thought of losing them.

[TrueConfection]

No, I care more. My husband and I both appreciate that the other person has not let themselves go. I try to stay looking as youthful as I can by taking care of my health, hair, and skin. My husband stays looking good by eating healthy and staying fit.

[DermalPunch]

So important and spouses ARE NOT shallow for expecting their partner to keep up the effort.

[Gigi2019]

There is a season to germinate. There is a season to just be green. There is a season to bloom. There is a season to open up your beautiful petals to attract bees. There is a season to drop your seeds. There is a season to lose your petals. There is a season to witherup and die. God gave each season a mercy of normalcy, provided that we go with the flow.

[FreyaRed]

People said since my childhood I'm pretty and I didn't care much about it until teenage where I saw how much power grants appearance to me. On the other hand I recognized how superficial and egoistic people are who focus entirely on my looks and don't see who I am.
I stopped this mental circle already with 16 and I know focusing alone on this one asset is pointless.

[Biancam13]

No, actually I care more about looks now than I used to but then again I’m only 24 😬 but I started caring more about looks after my glow up around age 17. However I still care equally about personality. Looks get me initially interested in someone, personality is what seals the deal.

[DermalPunch]

No, I've never been about looks. For me it's always been about presence, intelligence and sex appeal. I prefer a charismatic man that I have an attraction to. Thankfully, many of them have been objectively handsome as well.

[gfedcba]

Yes, but that's more to do with desensitization by exposure, like food, or entertainment - what's "amazing" becomes "meh"... I now look at a girl & think "that's nice", but don't get a boner & want to have 10,000 orgasms with her like I used to as a teen.

[UniquelyBasic]

I still care about looks somewhat but its not everything to me. As long as she pretty enough then Im more than happy if she's chill, smart, funny and just a fun person to be around.

[Anonymous]

I would say that I cared less about my looks as I got older.

When I was 20, I would think about how my boobs looked in a V-shirt.

When I was 30, I was just thinking about how they nurture my baby.

[Mrs_Incredible]

You sound like my girlfriend!

[AlwaysBelieving]

A little. I’m taking you mean when you want to date someone.

[annabananna]

not necessarily. I think some people care about how their friends look as well.

[AlwaysBelieving]

For friends, no I don’t care how they look as long as they have good personal hygiene.

[sissyalexa]

I don't think I care any less about looks, but I think I appreciate the variation in life more and find that I appreciate people's personal beauty more so I've ended up finding more people attractive the older I get! 😊

[TallAnon]

I think of it differently now, it's more of a tool than anything. Dressing/Styling in certain ways affect how people treat you. We can take advantage of this.
When I was younger, I was concerned with how I was perceived, now I dictate it instead.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Looks don't matter to me, a woman with a kind heart means a lot to me

[zagor]

In the sense that I look at women of an age I wouldn't have looked at before, yes. I think that is normal as most would find it pretty gross if I was hanging around checking out 16 year olds.

[AviatorTom]

I wouldn't say we care less about looks, we just get less picky as we get older.

[Guslove]

Yea I’ve always been in good shape the army got me started on that and I continued to do so for the last 25 years or so. Now I hit 50 I’ve noticed I’ve lost muscle mass it’s a lot harder to run I have a bum shoulder so I don’t try as hard to stay in shape when I was younger…

[andreasderjuengere]

I do care about ''looks''.
But the older one gets, the more ''wisdom'' is collected (well - if all goes well :D ), so that ''beauty'' is not longer a dominating factor.

[Luopio27]

I am only atracted to looks and there is no scientific cure for this imperfection. Im sorry girl (s).

[DizzyDesii]

no i still care a lot. But i care a little less about age difference the older i get

[TacosRAwesome]

I'll be honest, I dated for personality so far only for that to fucking suck so if I'm going to date someone and they end up having a bad personality I might as well have them look good.

[dreamstar72]

I agree with you especially about the inner self and being the most important quality. Looks can be deceiving plus beauty can change at moments notice. This is why the inner you is so important

[Iron_Man]

No I’m into cute little princesses that are beautiful

[AndrésC64]

Yes. And that goes not only for my looks but others' looks.

[motownplayer2000]

I think you care more than you realize. Most say that, but I don’t think that is entirely accurate.

[skytatoe]

Looks are still important.

But it's more like yeah you're pretty... and what else?

The personality and character count for 90% because in the end looks are only worth so much.

[katiesmuff]

I think I am pretty much on the same thinking as you are.

[TheSpaceGnome]

No, both will always matter to me, and I find women who are clever enough to prevent/reverse aging to be more attractive and relatable.

[dolemite89]

ya i’ll take a 6 thats down to earth over a 10 that’s a brat 🤷‍♂️

[Bubbles16]

Actually because of my social anxiety I've started caring more about what other people think of me

[Jessegirl1998]

I care about my appearance. But I grown up with that instilled in me.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

No. Everyone cares. You won't be with a person if they looked like 💩

[Anonymous]

yeah.. I hear ya.. things go down and don't care anymore at some point

[Anonymous]

I’m not quite as picky as I used to be but I still have to be attracted to them

[Anonymous]

Before giving my answer, I'd like to know whether you, Question asker, are the person shown in your profile photo.

[annabananna]

yes, why?

[Opinion Owner]

It is that I don't feel hugely inclined to trust that someone caring a real lot about their own appearance (as is the case of the person in that picture) doesn't care a lot about the others'.

[annabananna]

I never asked if you believed me

[Opinion Owner]

Yet that's still part of my reply to you.

[MrtoddsWildRide]

I find that is the case.

[Nagatoro]

I've never really cared about looks

[Anonymous]

Translation:

I can no longer get the ones that I truly desire, so now I settle.

[annabananna]

im married

[anton_dee]

No. The opposite I think

[Slut4Joy]

yes you do

[fireforeffect]

Not really.

[MistaM2daE]

Yup that's right

[In_Trance]

no, not at all