Would marriage cure loneliness?

[Anonymous]

I've been very lonely for some years. I don't really date men cause I had a conservative upbringing and I'm a little career driven. But since the past few years, loneliness has been bugging me more and more. My friends are kinda superficial so not exactly comfortable with them. Have been considering marriage as an option to get out of this very individualistic life. Would it be the right thing to do?
Ps. I understand marriage comes with lot of obligations but I'd love to know the positive aspects it brings along.

[caring__1]

You're buying into your early indoctrination. Remember those early books read to you? They all ended the same. "They got married and lived happily ever after." This has led a lot of people to associate marriage with happiness. People assume they'll be happy if they get married, and, if they're not, it must be the other person's fault. Marriage and happiness have nothing to do with each other. You could be happy in or out of a marriage, but it will be you who creates your happiness, not anything outside of you. There are too many people who believe marriage will make them whole, yet wholeness can only come from yourself. Challenge yourself and gain a sense of accomplishment.

Find a different type of people to associate with. Generally, people associate with those who are similar to them. Maybe there is a superficial aspect to who you are, even if you don't want to see it. Get involved with organizations. Do volunteer work. Pick a group that promotes a cause or interest of yours and take on a responsible role, so people can see you in action rather than just see what you look like. If you believe you don't have time to get involved beyond your present obligations, what leads you to believe you'd have time and energy needed to create and nurture a healthy relationship?

[Asker]

True I somehow believe the happily ever after narrative. Read too many romcoms I guess. But as you mentioned marriage might not make someone whole and complete. Thanks.

[caring__1]

You're welcome. A relationship is what two people choose to create and nurture together. If either stops being an active equal participant, the relationship dies.

[midnightmoon05]

Well said Sir.

[Anonymous]

Having another person in your life will cause you to no longer be on your own but loneliness is a very different thing, you can be alone and not be lonely and you can feel lonely when in company.

I would suggest that you work on your self love and validation etc, it is possible that you are seeking some sort of external validation which you aren't getting which is causing these feelings. You should also look inside yourself and examine these feelings and when they happening, what is the pattern or process here?

What purpose would the interaction with this imaginary person serve? What is it exactly that you want to be getting out of it etc?

Exploring the root of this will give you greater insight into what is happening for you and why.

[one1wild00]

If you and whomever you marry are sexually compatible, have similar outlooks in indoor vs outdoor activities, healthy lifestyle, and view of family then it should cure the loneliness, if these things are not aligned then the loneliness with be as bad or worse than single loneliness as you are already married to a person. best advice is to choose wisely.

[Adam1978]

No marriage doesn't solve that. Going out dating and finding a partner might. But you can be lonely in company too. So it's really up to you in the end.

[DarkWinterNights]

If you won’t date, and have trouble with friendships the last thing you should be considering is marriage. Maybe start by getting a pet, provided you can properly care for it.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Even after reading your update, No! Well you would get half and the house after the marriage fails, but there's no genuine in that. Get out of your bullshit and make a life of your own.

[Asker]

You chose an apt vitrtual name for yourself. I never mentioned I need a man for money or his darn property. I was seeing marriage as a medium for companionship but wasn't sure. I make my own money and I earn more than enough to even meet a potential husband's daily needs. So better watch your words.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Than change yours. If you are so confident, why does marriage as a medium (WTF?) matter? I have provided actual truth!

[Anonymous]

Get a puppy. Marriage is just trading one set of problems with another set.

[Anonymous]

Getting married to cure loneliness is a great way to add to the already high divorce rate.

[midnightmoon05]

What can you bring to marriage?

[Asker]

Maybe emotional support and friendship/ partnership as my potential spouse and I navigate through life. I earn enough so maybe some financial stability. I'm not sure what the other person has on his list though. Also I chucked the idea of marriage after some thought. I felt it might inflate my bubble of loneliness with some unreasonable expectations. Prolly I'll pick up a new hobby or find a pet.

[midnightmoon05]

👍 reading your message backwards make sense…
New hobby/pet… and so on… take some time to grow out of your loneliness… it’s healthy.

[Icybread]

if you can find the right person then yeah

[rabbitzzz]

It will depend on the husband.

[clemdenim]

Or wife

[Wise4myage]

I think it certainly can.

[SignedAutographs]

Not really

[In_Trance]

Never