Do you regret or miss someone that you ghosted?

[Anonymous]

Yes i have

Never

Something else

Updates

+1 y

If yes, what do you regret?
If no, why not?

[muscularbumblebee]

Yes and no. I was talking to this guy from whisper (if you know that site you can confess stuff anon then talk form there) I was about 16 at the time he was 26.


We got into a sort of ‘online relationship’ for a few months. I don’t count it as anything real and he seemed to care enough and it was innocent but at the same time I’m wondering ok age I’d just a number.. but what on earth does a 26 year old have anything to do with a 16 year old so that’s kind of a major red flag. Had to ghost him as family were suspicious and I suspected they would go through my phone which they did later on.


So to answer the question it was nice talking to him and I wonder what he’s up to but I never knew his true intentions or that major red flag so kinda glad I did at the same time

[silvermoon84]

Regret, yes. Miss, not sure. I ghosted him a few years ago because we met online and had only known each other for a month. He didn’t even know my last name but was already talking about getting married and telling me how much he loved me. I regret ghosting because I know it was mean but I can’t say I miss him because it was too early know how if I felt that way about him yet (even though I did “like” him).

[lamaguy]

A girl that I somehow started messaging on discord. She had a bad home life and was constantly on her phone and I felt bad to not reply to her messages. One day we just stopped and it has been months and I realized afterwards that all her bad stories made me feel a little bit sad all the time because I felt better afterwards.

[lamaguy]

But I still kind of miss messaging her because we were good messaging friends but it was too much

[scooogy]

I think I ghosted a woman I used to like, since she told me I was just an acquaintance to her. She told me quite some stuff about her life and even agreed to eventually meeting up some day. On the other hand she had a boyfriend back then, which of course got me jealous and made me ghost her for at least a while.

[Asker]

Wait so if you like someone so much that you get jealous, you still ghost? But you like them?

[scooogy]

I can't deal with her still just seeing me as a friend to her, even though I just didn't find opportunities for letting it develop into something bigger yet. She seems to wait for me to make enough money so that she could have kids with me. But what she doesn't see is how difficult it can be for someone with my degree to find a proper job at all.

[zyxacb]

I don't miss anyone. Though some get upset when I tell them I wouldn't miss them, I assure them this isn't personal, applies equally to everyone, including myself were I to die.

[Asker]

So whats the reason, if its nothing personal?

[zyxacb]

It's personal, but I'll tell anyway.

Growing up it was involuntary... had no relationships, money, no matter what I did I was an abject failure & nothing ever worked externally - my choices were either learn to be autonomously happy, or suffer.

Think of it like many get pacifiers, like children, as something to relieve discomfort, pain, etc., be this relationships, money, health - somewhere outside to find relief, but nothing being there, you can kick & scream but no "pacifier" comes to relieve your pain, all you can learn to do is build yourself until you can live without the pacifier, because nothing's coming outside to relieve you, thus you must learn to be satisfied with & expect nothing, including gratitude for your deeds.

This existence led to years of mental training, result of which I have no motivation/desire to have anything beyond basic comforts (survival food, shelter, etc.). I do what I think is right & don't concern with others' reactions, if someone spits in my face afterward, I walk away, wipe it off & get on with my life.

Life, through absolute & involuntary rejection, has left me in a league of my own, even death is just a transition stage to me, I can't fear anything anymore, nor attach to anyone or anything, because this only led to pain, while it sounds negative, its more like the monks & spiritual experts I studied with, the only result now is a continual move toward absolute peace through detachment.

[zyxacb]

As to ghosting in particular, someone who ghosts to me, by its very action, would be incapable of having a relationship, as, unless it's a safety issue, they will be too cowardly to discuss/confront uncomfortable issues, as they can't even face the consequences of a situation they, either by ignorant judgement, or otherwise created to handle a situation in a mature, upfront way.

If they ghost in that context, how are they going to look someone in the eye & deal with things directly if they've never developed a backbone, communication skills, or confidence to handle even a basic situation without ghosing & hiding like a coward?

If I ghosted them, I'd regard myself a coward, thus not worthy of anyone's time, respect, and in need to work on myself before I hurt anyone else through my cowardice.

[Asker]

This is the best answer I've ever heard

[vanessadaniellet]

You know I think I am seeing this with the man i am in a relationship with. He has literally like a fight or flight response to everything and he quite often carries a burden that he chooses to carry. He will voluntarily work himself to extreme or try to do anything to stay busy and doesn’t have much remorse or attachment to me. We argue and he don’t fight for me just sees me as a loss type thing. I wonder if it’s just from always having to survive and not live…. Let me ask you this can you be in a lifelong partnership? Will you ever fully give yourself ( as in secrets and deep feelings) to your partner?

[TamaraHenningsen23]

I once had an online best friend. I lied to her about which country I lived in, and I really regret that. I didn't think about the consequences, until I got bad conscience. I didn't wanted to lie anymore and thougt that she deserved a better friend than me, so I stopped texting her. I wanted to apologize to her, but I was afraid that she didn't wanted to be friends with me anymore.
I think about her sometimes and miss her.

[Asker]

How did you meet her/ where?

[Asker]

You should talk to her if you can you never know how people react

[TamaraHenningsen23]

I met her on Instagram five years ago.

[TamaraHenningsen23]

I thought the same. Sometimes I consider to write to her and apologize, but I just don't dare to. It's been a long time since we last texted together. But thanks for your advice.

[Asker]

Go for it, time's precious

[TamaraHenningsen23]

Thanks for the support♡

[ArtemisSilver]

Kind of, I ended up trying to break up with and ultimately ghosted an older Korean women. I didn't like the gold dynamic, but I admit that she was fun to be around.

[Flower7]

I feel bad about the ghosting part, but don’t miss them at all.

[JoyGirl]

Sometimes, but then, I remind myself why I ghosted them…LOL 😁🤣

[Moose304]

Not really, I don't ghost!

[Cleopatra1980]

No sometimes it’s about safety to get away.

[Asker]

Hows ghosting related to safety? Unless they are threatening you or something

[Cleopatra1980]

My ex was abusive.

[Cleopatra1980]

Mentally.

[Asker]

Oh then its okay

[ImNoOne111]

I have never ghosted someone

[moonpie89]

Have not.. no regrets