What were the things your Man or Woman ever Done for you, that made you laugh and smile so much, that it hurt your tummy and face muscles?

[SandandWaves]

[FunkyMonkee]

Probably the few times she ate chick peas. It wasn't the eating of them but the after effects!! MY GOD could that woman fart!!! Talk about silent but deadly!! HOLY SHIT!!! It was like living at Pearl Harbour!! You never heard or saw them coming!! One minute you're perfectly fine and the next thing you know, your face is melting!!
The walls of her apartment WERE white, when I first started seeing her!! After just ONE meal with chick peas, they were all dark green!! And there were scorch marks on the ceiling!! The cat started going bald!! The first night she did this, she opted to sleep out back on the patio. The next day, we had to clean up all the dead animals!! They don't MAKE haz-mat suits tall enough to fit me!! I've heard of heart attacks but, with her, it was a fart attack!! It's the WORST thing I've EVER smelled!!! I couldn't BELIEVE all that came out of that tiny little whole!! Even skunks would go by waving white flags!! One of them lost the clothes pins on his nose and he passed out!! They eventually figured that if they worshiped her as their queen, she'd stop!! When that didn't work, they began asking her for lessons!! She put every one of them to shame!! Okay, I fart a lot but at least you hear them coming and have time to run!! But, at least, most of the time, they don't even smell, these days! Either that or she ruined my nose!! I'd hate to see what would happen if she ever lit one of those things!! If we ever go to war again, just give her some chick peas, wait about 12 hours and send her in!! The war will be over in 2:00!! Of course, the town will have to be torn down because of the nuclear fallout. Oh, yes!! They're radio active!! After one of her attacks, her panties glow in the dark!!

[Sparkie460]

It sounds like you are the comedian in the family. You should be on stage. That was hilarious 😂

[FunkyMonkee]

@Sparkie460 Thank you! I had a hard time writing it, though. I couldn't stop laughing. If I can ever write more material, I'll give it a try. My cousin did stand-up for a while, too.
I DID do a comedy single, though.

[Sparkie460]

I had a hard time reading it from laughing so hard. Thank you. I needed a good laugh.

[FunkyMonkee]

@Sparkie460 Great! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I had a good time writing it. I used to say similar stuff to her when she'd float those deadly air biscuits and I'd have HER rolling on the floor and crying from laughing so hard, too.

[Sparkie460]

Hopefully she wasn't letting them lose as she was laughing so much

[FunkyMonkee]

@Sparkie460 I didn't notice any and she was probably pretty well aired out, by then.

[Sparkie460]

Lucky for you. 😆 🤣

[FunkyMonkee]

@Sparkie460 I know! But there WERE a couple times I took a direct hit!!
"What the hell crawled up inside of you and died?"
I think I should get a medal! The Purple Fart.

[JohnK123]

Just acted super funny and made funny jokes

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Sad to say I never met a woman who did things for me it always seemed like a one-sided situation

[SandandWaves]

well, how about someone who loves you?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@SandandWaves When my maternal grandmother was living she made me smile and laugh. The ex-girlfriends I had we shared smiles and laugh but nothing too special

[SandandWaves]

ooph... i didn't get back to ya...
am glad that your grandmother was funny... it's neat to be around funny people...

[humanearth]

Not much, she is kinda tame in comedy area. She don't have much of a funny bone

Me other hand, I am the stand-up comic in the family. I always have people in stitches

[exitseven]

We used to just make each other laugh. Usually about stupid stuff.