Do you think people who cheat in their relationships/ marriages start the relationship with good intentions?

[anniisa97]

Do you think the majority of people who cheat in marriages/relationships start off with good intentions (Planning to stay faithful and commit, care deeply for their partner and respect them) or were they always a shady character who doesn’t take anyone but themselves seriously?

Updates

+1 y

What’s the point in answering if you’re not going to read the details?

[Kaneki05]

I would say most start the relationship based on lust then they lose their lust, but never had love for the person therefore they cheat with someone who gives them that lust again.
So they didn't start intentionally wanting to cheat but they did start intentionally not understanding what love is and following lust.
One could argue not understanding love is just ignorance on their part but one could argue them not learning it to then go ahead with a serious relationship just shows how terrible of a person they are.

I think it's okay for you to screw up a couple times while young and not understanding what love is but one should learn sooner than later the longer you don't learn the longer you hurt people the longer you are a bad person.

[anniisa97]

I never thought about it that way. They’re chasing lust rather than love and that’s probably their definition of love. Interesting. I agree with most of what you’re saying

[Kaneki05]

Weirdly a game taught me this, a horror game lol. Well partly I still had to experience a couple of ex's to get it fully. You see in such game it's about a man self torturing himself as you go through the game you slowly start to realise what he did, he killed his wife because she became bed ridden at a hospital but not out of mercy no out of lust while she was bed ridden he of course couldn't fulfil his sexual urges.
Then he started thinking about the nurses in the hospital. Which made him messed up enough to kill his wife so he could be guilt free to sleep with someone again, get someone younger and healthier.
Now if he loved her he wouldn't care about sex nor would that even enter his mind as he would look after his wife but he didn't he just had lust.
Now this just sounds like a messed up story which it is. But I realised that's what happens with cheating, as soon as their lust isn't fulfilled they find someone else or get out.
It's a very clever story and a great game to be that dark and serious while also teaching a lesson.

Love is not wanting the person, love is wanting the person to be happy. He wanted her to be young, healthy, sexy when he should of thought about what would make her happy been there for her until her last breath, taking care of her, make jokes give her a laugh before she goes someone to love her.
This is why I can safely say I understand what love is and what lust is.
As a simple as it gets love is not selfish it's selfless.

[anniisa97]

Nicely put. That’s one disturbing horror game lol

[Andres77]

@Kaneki05
Excellent points.
What is the name of that game?

[Kaneki05]

@Andres77 Silent Hill 2

[Fuentes]

SHADY and not trustworthy and a waste of a relationship and time and those people can't be forgiven they're repeat offenders and it's a mental issues if you ask me. How can you. Ot cheat? They need help maybe if they could actually rehabilitate themselves with counseling but it's like a severely bi polar person whose manic they seek thrills and don't care who it hurts, which is why they need help.

[Anonymous]

I think most people go into a relationship thinking they will be loyal. It's not until they feel unsatisfied or unappreciated that some people will cheat. Of course they should just fix the relationship or get out instead, but it still happens.

[sheikalana]

Never cheated on anyone in the past but I thought of cheating someone when the relationship wasn't going in the right direction. I think no one starts a relationship with the intention of being with other people at the same time.

[anniisa97]

What about serial cheaters?

[sheikalana]

I don't know never met one and I'm not inside their head to know what's going on.

[Summeroflove]

Well I will say this HIGHLY depends on the individual but I will say cheating is one of those things you can’t come back from. You need to leave immediately after being cheated on you can forgive and have understanding for somebody without allowing them to hurt you again.

Some good people fall into temptation but when a good person does something that hurts someone they truly love they feel absolutely horrible for it. But there comes a point where they stop feeling that way anymore if they keep habitually and chronically offending. It’s the thrill of the moment, it’s the lust, and all of those things. If the opportunity arises, at the right place, at the right time, and they don’t think they will get caught.

They may justify it by saying so long as my wife/husband never knows about it it’s fine. I can just forget about this tomorrow but it never really works like that because you will start craving more and more to get that thrill.

But a person of the dark personality traits on the other hand. The narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, dark empaths, machiavellian‘s, and the list goes on of whatever title soemoem or another may have. These people will come into your life very charming they will tell you all the things that they think you want to hear and try to be too good to be true.

These people believe that if you fall for it, if you are too stupid to catch on, if you’re too weak to stand up for yourself, and the list goes on that you…. Deserve it. They feel like if you can’t catch on to them cheating you deserve it. If you can’t catch onto the fact they’re using you financially you deserve it. If you sign the marriage contract too fast or on the other extreme fall for their future faking then you deserve it.

I will say a lot of people aren’t born with dark personality traits they become it over time. Some could stem from birth, some can stem from a bad childhood, but at the end of the day. A lot of people start out as good loving caring people. Maybe they get hurt too many times or maybe they just keep doing horrible things but keep justifying it as well as excusing it as a effort to make themselves feel better.

But that is honestly how they think. They think if you’re too dumb to notice they’re taking advantage of you. If you’re too weak to stand up for yourself. Then you deserve what happens to you. You need to be VERY careful of these people because they have a great sense of entitlement to other people. To their things. To their body. To control everything the do, say, think, feel, and everything else. They feel that people around them are property. They could care less about your wants and needs. They only care if you’re meeting theirs or you will be discarded.

[Bmories99]

I like to believe some do. Some cheated out of convince or stupid decisions. Some due to circumstances. Others it's a problem they have that they keep going back too.

[AimeeKyle]

I think the vast majority go into marriage with the intension of being / remaining faithful. Miscommunication, lack of communication, broken promises and many other things can lead one down a dark or freeing path (depending on the situation).

[peedy]

Law of averages says most people do start with good intentions but go astay somewhere along the line

[MountAverage]

Why would you think it's the same with everyone? That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

[anniisa97]

I don’t. Read the description

[MountAverage]

Are you referring to the "majority" part?

[anniisa97]

👍👍

[MountAverage]

It still doesn't make sense to me, there's just way too many different factors involved to be able to speak of any majority when it comes to this.

[anniisa97]

Not necessarily. I’m asking if you think majority of cheaters get into the relationship knowing they will cheat at some point, because that’s what they enjoy doing, or if they get into a relationship with the intention of being faithful

[MountAverage]

I just don't know what I would even base my opinion on.

[anniisa97]

It’s an opinion. It’s not fact based. You don’t need to base it on much apart from your perspective and personal experiences.

[MountAverage]

Okay, I believe most people who've cheated didn't plan to when they started they're relationship.

[anniisa97]

Ok, thanks

[Blaaam87]

I think it could be both honestly.

[baserunner611]

Each person has different situations

[Kim7mik]

What you mean

[anniisa97]

Check Kaneki05s post to understand

[Kim7mik]

Where do you live 😊

[htmndg183]

Probably not.

[jahaims]

Sometimes

[legalboxers]

Things happen

[Thecubs22]

No... Lol