Why would some people cheat even if they were in a healthy relationship with a decent good spouse?

[melnc]

[JoePro_]

Ultimately, I think it's because the individual lacks the moral fiber and willpower to be monogamous. They'll make an excuse that they've been going through emotional difficulties, or that their sex life has been subpar, or they were drunk, etc. All situations that lots of people go through, but not everyone cheats over. So these things can't be "the cause". They're the excuse. The cause is more deeply rooted in who the individual is, not what they're going through. Someone with a deeply rooted belief that "cheating is a horrible way to treat the person you're with" could be drunk, emotionally broken, and been through months without sex, and yet still not cheat. They would seek couples counseling/therapy, and even divorce, long before cheating because of that deeply held belief. So, yeah, just my two cents.

[Purpleronnie]

There can be deep psychological reasons behind cheating or it can be just about a coincidence of your feelings towards your present relationship and opportunity to fulfill a physical or emotional need. Cheaters are generally the narcissists, the good liars , manipulators. They can also be those driven by basic biology and chemistry after all the idea of monogamy is in direct conflict with nature , and our ancestry. The facts are though there is no real defence for cheating emotionally or physically in a relationship. The emotional and mental damage it can cause can be irreversible. We have to accept though that at least some of the time it’s not about what is or inst there in a relationship, it’s actually how broken the cheater is

[Darknut3]

I think the case with me though is I was exposed to porn. So my entire life it seemed like I could feel like I get any woman I wanted. The belief further cemented in my head and held true because my brother and his friends were always saying how did I have so much luck pulling women as I was an introverted person. So implying since I wasn't as outgoing as they were they wanted to my secret. I was kind of like laid back calm no drama.

So yes even being married there are opportunities I do try to test the waters to see if I still got it. My latest interest is my boss.

I've been slowly chatting with her since around late 2019 and cranking it up with the interactions.

[LazerBean]

Usually the reason why someone cheats falls under one of three categories: bad upbringing, promiscuous genetics, or non-upbringing related emotional baggage. Non of that is a good excuse for them to be cheaters, of course, since ultimately it is their choice. But usually that is why they are tempted to do it in the first place.

[Darknut3]

Even lazerbean would throw all this thought out the window once she would entertain riding on something as hard as an iron bar. Wish I knew.

[Paris13]

No Good Excuse Unless Someone is In A Relationship Rut or Going Through a Change of Life. xxoo

[Paris13]

Thanks, Gag. xxoo

[Anonymous]

Look at it as insurance if you will. In case something happens to your significant other or whomever you're with, by communicating lightly and being close to another will make the transition easier if and when it does happen. Sure it's exhausting but you won't have to start over and be in the dumps for very long of at all since the ground work is already laid. You just then turn upthe heat and pursue harder once it's time. Same with women. I'm sure there are some out there who will never admit here, but there are, that would do and think the same.

[Peridot25]

So, you’re saying your partner cheats in case something happens to you? And, if god forbid something does happen to you, they know they have a person to fall on?

[Opinion Owner]

@Peridot25 well no, just keep going as if nothing is happening. Testing the waters and flirting going on 18 years now. I'm not even supposed to be on here...

[Jonathan373]

Depends on who is cheating and how? Men like an assortment of women, been that way since the begging of time. Why else do rich men have all these side girls, and the women normally won’t care as long as you’re not taking anything away from them. (The main woman)

Women on the other hand will cheat because they don’t respect their man, and since they can only think with emotion and how they feel about things, they feel disrespected or embarrassed that men are not acting like women. Some men do and will act like women because their father wasn’t around to raise them

[Peridot25]

Explains why men abandoned their families.

[Jonathan373]

@Peridot25 depends on where you are from? For example in America: American women initiate 80% of the divorces, that means men are leaving the women. Women are kicking out the men because the laws incentivize the break up. She gets his money through alimony and child support. So age old, “he just got up and left” is a lie. You also gave ask, if he just got up and left, what made him leave allegedly?

[Kulotz]

for some people it is an addiction, for some they like attention, maybe the love fade, maybe they dont value the marriage responsibilities, maybe they have a sex drive. it depends on the person i guess.

[JHAYES317]

It’s the greener on the other side mentality, a very toxic mindset that a lot of women seem to have nowadays they are social climbers and ambitious and constantly have to be improving their station in life…whereas many guys are cool working dead end jobs if it means they have time to go party and game with their bros on weekends

[Kulotz]

@JHAYES317 sorry couldnt understand your point. you imply that i'm biased?

[JHAYES317]

Not necessarily you particularly…I was just explaining why people cheat

[Billlewis]

Because of the natural urge to have sex with more than one person.

[melnc]

Unfortunately, this is the reality.

[Little_Bumblebee]

I've seen so many say "because they could" / "because they got the opportunity"

Some people just don't care and it makes me sad..

[Vegasrunner]

It depends. If a woman cheats its usually because she's fallen out of love. If a man cheats its because he wants to take advantage of his options.

[Darknut3]

So what you're saying is if her husband isn't supportive to her needs. You can be that guy who capitalizes and steals her away by observing and persuading. I'm trying that now actually. I married and so is the woman of interest. What I'm doing is building a relationship if you will with her and hopefully I come out smelling like a white mushroom.

We already flirt with each other at work. She laughs at nothing I say anymore and we mirror each others sayings etc. Sitting close to me in meetings practically in my lap. Any closer we would anyways.
In a group something is funny and we just happen to look at each other and we both notice and look away kind of quick like oh God, she / he is looking! Turn away fast.

We both are checking each other out with side glances after we check the rest of the room out etc.

[Vegasrunner]

@Darknut3 No i never said anything like that. I also think you're situation is going to run into trouble because you're interpreting these signs instead of actually having a real conversation to see if you can bang this chick or not.

[Darknut3]

I'm planting seeds of ideas and stuff in common. I'm friends with her on Facebook and have posts set to where only she and a few other non mutual friends can see. I keep a spreadsheet of everything so I don't forget.

[Darknut3]

Also open and see what she had in her lunch bag too and make notes. Sometimes I like licking the zipper too.
I tried getting this woman to like me to I'm trying another approach. If she come in contact with me that way, she may develop feelings toward me through that. Never know. I know I thought it was weird too. Maybe by some bizarre chemical reaction, saliva would help in romantic contact.

[Vegasrunner]

@Darknut3 Gl w/ that.

[Darknut3]

I think it might be working. I haven't tried this yet but praising and compliments seem to be appreciated but it never goes further. Guess im in fantasy land. There are plenty of open offices that we could go in with nobody around. I guess my photo collages will have to do for now. I'm gonna go cold turkey with her and see what happens.

[sheikalana]

Cheating has more to do with the person that cheats than with the spouse. People cheat for a number of reasons.

[Peridot25]

Humans are assholes and have no issue taking their loved ones for granted.

[Nikki1989]

People who are in love and in a healthy relationship do not cheat on each other.

[Darknut3]

Yeah Nikki knows

[KrakenAttackin]

Because they are not good, decent, people. If you have a good person in your life there is zero justification for cheating.

[JayBones]

Why would someone order more pizza when they already have a pepperoni pizza at home?

[Juleskik67]

You're assuming that because you like pizza, you want to have pizza every day for the rest of your life...

[JayBones]

There are a million different ways to make a pizza.

[milo2u]

Not meeting the needs, and wants from the relationship.

[dustybiker2]

People who cheat give themselves permission to.

[mobiusforniner]

Lack of self control

[laly520]

cheaters doesn't need a reason to cheat

[Booklover_90]

People find any reason to cheat, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Newness.

[jahaims]

Unresolved trauma