Why do people cheat in a happy relationship?

Question

This is my friend that cheated his girlfriend but he says he was happy in his relationship and did it just once. What do you think? Why do people cheat in a happy relationship?

gogobango · Accepted Answer

Let's break down some of the common reasons that get tossed around in conversations and forums:

Looking for Something Different: Sometimes, even in a happy relationship, a person might feel like something's missing. It's not always about being unhappy with what they have but maybe wanting a bit more, or something different.

Self-Esteem Issues: Believe it or not, self-esteem plays a big role. Some folks cheat because it makes them feel desired or boosts their ego. It's like they need that external validation to feel good about themselves, even if they're getting plenty of love in their relationship.

Avoiding Conflict: This one's a bit tricky. Some people might be unhappy about certain aspects of their relationship but don't know how to talk about it. So, instead of dealing with the issue, they find distraction or solace in the arms of someone else.

Opportunity Knocks: Sometimes it's just a matter of circumstance. They weren’t necessarily looking to cheat, but an opportunity presented itself, and they didn't have the willpower or desire to say no. It's like, "I wasn't shopping, but this thing was on sale!"

Lack of Emotional Connection: They might be in a 'happy' relationship on the surface, but if they're not connecting with their partner on a deeper emotional level, they might seek that connection elsewhere.

Thrill of the Chase: For some, there's an adrenaline rush involved in having an affair. The secrecy, the sneaking around, it can be a thrill.

Cultural and Social Factors: Sometimes societal norms or peer influence can play a role. In some circles or cultures, there's this unfortunate notion that cheating is a status symbol or a sign of masculinity or femininity.

In any case, communication and honesty are super important in any relationship to keep things on track and address any issues head-on.

RavVid · Accepted Answer

OK. I think it is the coolidge effect which has been quite well studied.

Put a male rat and a female rat in a cage and of course he is going to mount her. All the time initially. But slowly the mounts get longer in time apart. The male rat blames the female rat. she's not doing it for me anymore he thinks. She doesn't get me hard like she use to.

The experimenters put a new female rate in the cage. Male rate is over her like a rash. He is so sexually excited he is mounting his familiar female a lot more often too as well as the novel female. He gets tuckered out. The female rats lick him to excite him.

Coolidge effect.

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

they lied... cheaters do that too, lie to themselves and others

Finchie40 · Answer

Because they are selfish and only think about themselves, Cheating is a selfish act period and sadly a lot of people are selfish in general , so a cheater is very selfish , by only doing what they feel is best for themselves and not caring about anyone else's feelings , unless they were caught red handed , and then the cheater will make every excuse in the book as to why they did it , or they will continue lying because they only care about themselves

coachTanthony · Answer

men seek variety. Their bedroom antics are stale.

AviatorTom · Answer

Cheating is often caused by opportunity, it's not planned.

Avicenna · Answer

Thrill seeking and insecurity

HawkPerception · Answer

I've never cheated and do think that cheating is for people with low emotional intelligence. While I may not condone their actions, I do somewhat understand why some men would cheat. And it's almost never because they're in a happy relationship.

A big part of chemistry in a relationship is sexual compatibility. Your partner could have an ideal personality and great chemistry with you, but if you have desires that are not being fulfilled, then you might go somewhere else to fulfill those desires. When women always say no to sex like "I'm too tired" or "I'm not in the mood" or they are not willing to try sexual kinks or fetishes a man has consistently, it's not like his desires will just go away. And he might love you and not want to lose you, but he feels you aren't even trying to meet his needs. So that's why they might do something behind your back.

This is why communication in a relationship is extremely important. There needs to be open communication about how fulfilled you are sexually and what you desire. You and your partner should have similar sexual desires and know each others boundaries. And you should both want to fulfill each other's needs sexually. If you don't have the desire to fulfill the other's needs then of course there will be tension that's built up over time.

It's fine to have limits to what you're okay with, but you should also be open to trying stuff as well. For example, I tell my partners I'm a dom and into bondage and master slave kinda stuff. But I also am not into using toys, nothing goes up my butt, and no blood, piss, or shit. Which I think is pretty fair. If they tell me the like and dislike the idea of the same things, then I know it'll work. Too many people skip talking about sex because of how uncomfortable it makes them feel.

Chevy1_kb · Answer

Don't remind me off my cheated life I got they are just greedy basterd that long for attention and still act like a deserate teenager looking for fucks anywhere they can get it not all women and men are like this but a lot of both are still that's not me av never had the love off a man ma heart deserves IAM always the one getting flung aside for what for doing fuck all but loving him piss taking fuck I e never had the love I have wanted or deserve IAM always the one fucking lied to cheated on cause they see in my eyes a love them so much and become so attached that they think they can walk all over me iam a very sensitive women when it comes to love its the thing that damages my head and heart for years wiles those fuckers are shagging in new relashionships and am just left with all the grief no answers to why the cheating and other stuff happend just left with my head spinning full of confusion and loneliness from a dick I done nothing but love 😢😢

lightbulb27 · Answer

After a few rounds with a good counselor, ask him.

The real issue I think... a broken heart in childhood, poor training... or arrogance. E. g. he was thinking about himself not her... selfishness. If he was drunk, then the answer is stupidity... for drinking is an act of stupidity... that makes a person even more stupid than before. It's an amazing chemical.

I know of one guy that spoke openly about cheating on his wife... he only did so after he was busted and went through the process of self discovery.

Sorry to hear for your girlfriend, very sad. Note... it isn't only guys, but you know that.

Anonymous · Answer

It is impossible to cheat on someone if the relationship is happy, maybe on the outside it may look like everything is OK, but in reality it is not

If a man cheats on a woman it is because something is missing in the relationship, many women for instance are disinclined to satisfy some of their man's sexual desires, this may predispose some to look elsewhere for their satisfaction.

I have always had partners who have pleased me in sex, they have always consented to all my sexual demands and for that reason I have never cheated on them.

They also find me very well temperamentally, so I can't complain.

MrOracle · Answer

Cheaters are selfish. Only their own desires and feelings really matter to them. They can justify anything, because, to them, only themselves really matter.

And, let's face it, people today RARELY pick their partner based on their partner's morals, values, and life-goals, but rather they choose their partners for very shallow reasons, often DESPITE that person's morals and values, which they KNOW to be bad.

Then they wonder why their outcomes are always bad...

puurikke · Answer

Might be that he was happy in the relationship, just not at that moment. Most people remember they are happy and don't cheat. Some people are so in the moment, they can't think for more that a few hours ahead.

Could be he wasn't happy about a small thing. Could be he cheated only because she wouldn't [insert sexual act]. This would mean he was kinda selfish and again, didn't think further ahead than a few hours.

Or he lied and just wasn't happy.

rosemilk · Answer

you don't see how others relationships are behind the scenes. what may appear to look happy or that they say they are happy can be the opposite for when the doors are closed and no one else sees things besides the couple.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

If they cheat, it means, from their perspective, the relationship wasn't so happy. Or at least something was missing.  I don't believe that genuinely happy people can hurt someone they love...

Jhonrembo36 · Answer

There can be many reasons for this, among others: 1. weak character, 2. very high sexual desire, 3. not satisfied with the sexual relations in the relationship, 4. people who do not resist temptations, 5. Crooks, 6. People who don't like to be committed, 7. The party people and the debauchery etc..

hahahmm · Answer

Why didn't you ask him? Some guys never cheat. Some guys always cheat. Some guys cheat a few times. Women probably cheat the most but they're better at covering up.

BadApple69 · Answer

Variety is the spice of life.  There is an old saying…. Take the most beautiful woman in the world, and there is some guy who is tired of fucking her.  I think it’s honestly that simple.

msc545 · Answer

Cheating is addictive behavior and is typically not engaged in because one person is better looking than another but rather because the person that is cheating has a perceived need that needs to be satisfied.

chanty305 · Answer

If they are happy, they will not cheat. That means something was missing from the relationship. When someone is happy that includes respect so they would not have the heart to cheat on their significant other who they would have a great connection with.

RingOfFire · Answer

I would say boredom is probably the most common reason. Men are natural hunters. It's the thrill of the hunt that drives their interest. When the prey is too easy to have, it is less interesting.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Because they are not 100% happy. Happy people that have great sex lives and are in love don't cheat on each other.

DJB72 · Answer

They don't. If they cheat they're not happy. It's simple. If you're getting everything you need in the relationship you don't notice anything outside it.

sage2021 · Answer

Maybe he saw it so much on social media that he wanted to check it out for himself. He's a dog and should be tossed out the front door forever.

molonski2 · Answer

Guys just love multiples , its really simple , its fresh and new

Booklover_90 · Answer

He may be your friend, but you don’t really know what goes on behind closed doors. For all you know, he could’ve lied to you and they fight like cats and dogs.

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

a more important question is why do women get into relationships neglect their sexual obligations to their boyfriends/husbands and still wonder why they cheat

we want sex it’s not that complicated ladies

Friendlybro79 · Answer

You should specifically ask people that ha e cheated. People that have done this can answer this with actual experience as to why.

I think if you try hard enough to think you can come up with just about every reason.

fantasticass · Answer

Cheaters never change. It has nothing to do with anything except themselves. Selfishness is why people cheat.

Flatmanlewis · Answer

Because cheaters cheat because of who they are and what’s in them - not what’s missing from somebody else. It’s just that simple.

strateguy632 · Answer

i do not but i guess they feel like "they do not want to miss an available opportunity".

RedInnocent68 · Answer

Because it’s not that happy… There’s always trauma you don’t see. Sometimes even between partners, one doesn’t always understand everything going on in the mind of the other.

Gent207-2 · Answer

Does happiness really prevent cheating? I assure it does not

exitseven · Answer

I knew a guy that had a beautiful girlfriend and he cheated on her with a real skank. I think he did it to see what he could get away with.

katiesmuff · Answer

Guess it's hard for some to resist that "It's greener on the other side of the fence" syndrome.

laly520 · Answer

cheaters would cheat anytime they dont need an excuse for being sad or unsatisfied

Alex-Snow · Answer

Just the thrill of having sex with someone new or maybe they are not having enough sex in their current relationship

LiamJHayden · Answer

Selfishness. That is my answer for all cheating. If someone wants something more or different, either discuss it and get an open relationship or break up.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

People cheat because of problems within themselves; they're insecure.

Anonymous · Answer

Men because a hot woman wants to have sex.  Women because they are unhappy in their relationship and searching for a new man.

Strong_Warrior · Answer

I swear the God, girls dont deserve anything. Not even cheating. If women continue to look only appearance and money then this is the result. Men will destroy and cheat you.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

To try something different and fresh. It's wrong but usually that's the reason people do such things.

Francesca1994_ · Answer

Probably cause they are narcissist. Think they can do whatever face no consequences.

12karen · Answer

maybe because the relationship wasn't that happy for him,

OddBeMe · Answer

It’s their pathology. They like lying, the cat and mouse, think of sex as “conquering”- all that bullshit.

Paul09 · Answer

People always try to find excuses for their evil doings.. Then get all defensive and mad when you call them out. He could be very selfish.

deus_ex_sisyphus · Answer

I would assume they got too comfortable and desired change

FenixG45 · Answer

Human nature is to  ALWAYS  want what you don't or can't have! The most obvious examples are amongst the rich and famous

Anonymous · Answer

Selfishness. There is no other reason. People will try to justify it. But it's selfishness plain and simple.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

If someone says they are happy but still cheats, that is a major character flaw.

allaboutyou2 · Answer

Obviously they aren't in a happy relationship if they feel the need to cheat.

Anonymous · Answer

Sometimes a little side action is exciting and fun.

ChooChooHaha · Answer

No. They're deluding themselves.

Jessikaah91 · Answer

Because their selfish

Berethor · Answer

They are greedy.

Anonymous · Answer

I've cheated when I found a better guy.

butterly248 · Answer

They deep down aren't happy

In_Trance · Answer

It's clearly not a happy relationship

Pterodon · Answer

They don’t love or respect the other

mandyfire98 · Answer

No self control

krin_m · Answer

There must be something missing if they do.

Anonymous · Answer

Immaturity comes to mind.

Anonymous · Answer

It's only because they get plenty offers.

Why do people cheat in a happy relationship?

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