Why would he place me beneath him?

[Anonymous]

So we got into am argument, my boyfriend said we're not equals because he makes more money than I do. So I mentioned how he lost over $70k in dealing with dogecoin and he's down to only $20k in his account. So he said if he lost all of his money he'd still be above me because he's a firefighter. I can't get over it, I didn't wanna be around him after that.

[dynamicyandere]

It looks like uses income as a measuring stick for how much value a human being has, at least in a relationship context. I think there are so many more important things that make someone valuable, such as good character, which he isn’t displaying. But yeah, that’s just his own value system of what is important to him and what makes one person more valuable than another. It also sounds like his ego is completely tied to how much income he makes.

[Asker]

Exactly, his priorities are fucked up. We've been together for 7 years this is the first he's said something outta line like that. Money isn't everything and he puts that as a reason to marry me.

[dynamicyandere]

Yeah, f*cked up priorities. He needs to sort that out or learn the hard way. I agree, money isn’t everything. There are more important things. But, for him, it’s pretty damn high on his list of priorities.

Giving him the benefit of the doubt, he could be have been emotionally lashing out and just dealing low blows because his ego got bruised (which still doesn’t make what he said okay). Hopefully, when he calms down, he’ll apologize. Because what he said wasn’t cool.

And, if he thinks that the value you bring to the relationship should be so heavily based on monetary value, he sounds like he needs a business, not a relationship.

[Asker]

Lol right he said it himself that anyone would be glad to have me, not bragging but I've a lot for him and he knows it. He needs to get a grip on his emotions.

[dynamicyandere]

The irony. You’d think, as a firefighter, he’d be better at staying calm under pressure and not letting his emotions get the best of him.

But, I suppose that doge coin comment really got to him and he lost his composure, lashing out emotionally and saying hurtful sh*t.

[Asker]

He said stuff to me first by saying we're not equals. He lost a lot and I said "I guess we'll be equals now". So yeah not good but he made me feel like shit with that. Like the comment above he was abused by His dad so stuff seems to stem from that too. Even still he shouldn't lash out at me while he's mad like that

[dynamicyandere]

Got it. Yeah, even if he had a rough upbringing, it doesn’t give him a free pass to be rude to you. What he did was uncalled for and really hurtful. I don’t blame you for needing a little space from him after that. Besides, he needed to take a breather and calm down anyway with him losing his cool like that. It’s a good call to get a little space, cool off, and regroup.

[Asker]

Yes I agree

[Anonymous]

Because he's a bastard, I'd leave him $70k in dogecoin, fuck me dead I'd expect my partner to leave if I'd lost that escarole in Vegas etc as both are gambling and he's clearly an addict

[Asker]

Yeah it's a lot and if he pulled out he'd lose it so he's taking a big L. His priorities are fucked up.

[kylee2437]

You shouldn’t want to be with someone that brings in outside convo when dealing with an issue with you. If he’s discussing stuff like this while arguing with you, he’s probably just trying to deflect his accountability in the problem and that’s when you should just cut your losses with someone like this.

[Asker]

Yeah like he wants to look down on me because he makes more. His logic is bullshit, he ain't used to nothing either.

[kylee2437]

@asker yeah he’s just trying to lack accountability and the only way to deflect is by insinuating he’s better than you so you must be the problem. It’s a form of gaslighting and it’s actually very toxic because he doesn’t see you as an equal to him. I’d leave him

[Asker]

Right, folks wanna be the victim and never be accountable for their own shitty actions. I'm tired

[kylee2437]

Dealing with someone that is abusive is tiring. Been there, done that. I promise if you leave, you will be way happier

[Asker]

Crazy thing is, he was abused by his dad and always feels he's got something to prove. Where all of this thinking he's better than me comes from

[kylee2437]

@asker that’s how most abusers stories go. It’s either their father was abusive/ father was absent. They inflict their childhood anger onto their partners instead of going to therapy. Sad part is abusers are almost mostly sane people, they just use their trauma to guilt trip (I read a book regarding this) . I highly recommend leaving the relationship

[Asker]

Noted

[Asker]

Crazy, right instead of being better people they chose to release their childhood trauma on others. Wild

[kylee2437]

Yep! Unfortunately they just want to lack overall accountability, because normal adult realize they need to take accountability for their traumas

[FilmGuy93]

Because he thinks you are beneath him. People are very honest when they're angry.

[Asker]

Yes they are